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Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,035
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Hubby and I not agreeing on euthanasia

@fairydogmother Has your Vet expressed any thoughts?

 

Since the Vet just diagnosed increasing medicine, I can't help but think that they think there is more that can be done for your Lola. He also stated she has a few months left.

 

When we decided to have our dog put down, the Vet said she didn't think he would last the day. So the decision was easy for us.

 

You have more gray area. Therefore, different opinions.

 

Maybe see how the increased cough medicine works. If it doesn't - maybe it is time for your husband to change his position.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,608
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Hubby and I not agreeing on euthanasia

Wow there are so many points of view being expressed. Yet not one of them feels wrong to me. You all are very kind, caring pet lovers. Differing perspectives are interesting and helpful. 
yes of course I'll give an update down the road. For now I think we should give the increased dosage of cough medicine a few more days. To see if there's enough symptom relief. Right now it doesn't seem like it but a few more days won't hurt 


Harmonize the World
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,654
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

Re: Hubby and I not agreeing on euthanasia

@fairydogmother ............IMO your husband is being cruel to your Lola, though not intentional.  She is suffering and most likely in pain and or very uncomfortable.  Your husband says he will know when its time, NO he does not.  He is being selfish or he would not object.

 

I hope you can change his mind quickly for Lola's sake.  If not, IMO, you will have to make the decision yourself so she will not be suffering.

BE THE PERSON YOUR DOG THINKS YOU ARE! (unknown)
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,611
Registered: ‎10-25-2010

Re: Hubby and I not agreeing on euthanasia

I agree that it is time.  My beautiful Ruby Cavalier King Charles Spaniel had a heart condition and in her late stages was breathing heavy and coughing.  She was on meds, but they were not able to help her any longer.

 

One night when it was time for bed, I got her meds and applied peanut butter to my finger and stuck her pill to it and tried to give it to her.  She moved away from and hid behind a chair....not normal behavior.

 

Then she came out on the other side and sat down.  I asked her to come.  She stood up with her legs shaking and fell over dead with a loud thump.  I screamed and my husband who was napping on the sofa woke up.

 

He knelt down and cradled her in his arms and said she had no heartbeat.  She fell over stone dead just that fast.

 

It devastated us.  Months later, my husband showed me a video he took of her a few weeks before she died.  I noticed she was breathing heavy and struggling.  Why didn't we  do somthing so that she didn't suffer?  I felt horrible and still do.  I wish I was more aware of how bad she was.  I feel guilty knowing I didn't do the right thing because I didn't want to accept she was at the end.

 

I wouldn't wnt that experience again and would never wish anyone else to ever hve to experience that either.  It is always a difficult decision to say goodbye to your loved furry friends.

 

We must make the best choice for them...not us.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,817
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Hubby and I not agreeing on euthanasia

My heart goes out to you.  It's such a difficult decision.  

I, unfortunately, am in the same situation as you.  My pom is 14 with a heart murmur and collapsing trachea.  Her cough is getting worse and I've been giving her cough medicine this week.  She's not as advanced in her condition yet because she still likes to go for "bye bye".  She loves to go shopping in the stores that are pet friendly. 

I fear the day I have to make this decision.  One reason is that I've suffered enough grief in my life that I don't have much energy left for it.  I'm all too well familiar with the feeling.  So much so that I'll never have another pet.

Just realize that putting your dog out of misery is probably the beginning of your husband's.  It's a lose - lose situation.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,608
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Hubby and I not agreeing on euthanasia


@Scooby Doo wrote:

My heart goes out to you.  It's such a difficult decision.  

I, unfortunately, am in the same situation as you.  My pom is 14 with a heart murmur and collapsing trachea.  Her cough is getting worse and I've been giving her cough medicine this week.  She's not as advanced in her condition yet because she still likes to go for "bye bye".  She loves to go shopping in the stores that are pet friendly. 

I fear the day I have to make this decision.  One reason is that I've suffered enough grief in my life that I don't have much energy left for it.  I'm all too well familiar with the feeling.  So much so that I'll never have another pet.

Just realize that putting your dog out of misery is probably the beginning of your husband's.  It's a lose - lose situation.


I am beginning to feel that I should drop the subject for now. If I continue to push. Or even bring it up again, I'm afraid he will start resenting me 


Harmonize the World
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,917
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Hubby and I not agreeing on euthanasia


@SilleeMee wrote:

I've decided to do it when my dog's quality of life is not curable, treatable or without pain. I try to be objective about it as much as possible and try to put myself in my dog's 'shoes'. Endless suffering without relief is no way to live. I can see it in my dog's eyes when the time comes. Something about the eyes...they look different.


I agree that the eyes will be the sign.My girls eyes looked distant as though she was already leaving this world.Saddest day of my life and I am still not over it.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,523
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: Hubby and I not agreeing on euthanasia

My family has had to let go of 4 dogs.  

 

Thankfully with 3 of them, their issues were advanced enough that we knew right away what decision had to be made.  

 

We had 7 good weeks and 1 fair week with the other dog after his diagnosis and made it to the vet office minutes before his condition got ugly.   

 

We don't want any level of suffering for our pets.  

 

 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,601
Registered: ‎10-02-2021

Re: Hubby and I not agreeing on euthanasia


@Imaoldhippie wrote:

@fairydogmother ............IMO your husband is being cruel to your Lola, though not intentional.  She is suffering and most likely in pain and or very uncomfortable.  Your husband says he will know when its time, NO he does not.  He is being selfish or he would not object.

 

I hope you can change his mind quickly for Lola's sake.  If not, IMO, you will have to make the decision yourself so she will not be suffering.


I TOTALLY agree with you. It's time to let her dog go since there is NO quality of life. Her dog is OBVIOUSLY suffering. Her husband is VERY selfish. I feel sorry for the dog.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,601
Registered: ‎10-02-2021

Re: Hubby and I not agreeing on euthanasia


@fairydogmother wrote:

@Scooby Doo wrote:

My heart goes out to you.  It's such a difficult decision.  

I, unfortunately, am in the same situation as you.  My pom is 14 with a heart murmur and collapsing trachea.  Her cough is getting worse and I've been giving her cough medicine this week.  She's not as advanced in her condition yet because she still likes to go for "bye bye".  She loves to go shopping in the stores that are pet friendly. 

I fear the day I have to make this decision.  One reason is that I've suffered enough grief in my life that I don't have much energy left for it.  I'm all too well familiar with the feeling.  So much so that I'll never have another pet.

Just realize that putting your dog out of misery is probably the beginning of your husband's.  It's a lose - lose situation.


I am beginning to feel that I should drop the subject for now. If I continue to push. Or even bring it up again, I'm afraid he will start resenting me 


You need to do what is BEST for your dog. His quality of life is going downhill. Your husband's feelings at this point SHOULDN'T matter.