Re: Hubby and I not agreeing on euthanasia

fairydogmother · ‎03-10-2010

@gardenman wrote:
It's never an easy call. To me, if the dog finds joy in eating, getting pet, being held, etc. that joy can offset a lot of discomfort. When an animal no longer has joy in those things and becomes more of a living zombie then it's time. At that point you're just prolonging the suffering.

You got me thinking. She still runs to the door when we come home. Happy to see us.

Harmonize the World

DSD2 · ‎01-09-2016

My heart goes out to you.

It's obvious your husband loves Lola, as do you but you disagree as to what comes next. As he was there at the vets with you, he heard what you did and processed it differently. The myth that as long as they are able to eat means it's not the end is tragic.The ability to breathe is as important as ability to eat.

In terms of your relationship, can you/should you urge/make him come to the same decision as you? If you do, will he be filled with resentment toward you and berate himself for going along?

Even if the answers to the above are yes, in the end, we are charged as loving pet parents to always do what is best for our beloved children. To make the difficult decisions for those who are suffering and cannot make them for themselves. Perhaps you might ask your husband how he will feel watching her pain increase and struggle. Is it better to die peacefully or watch her suffer?

God bless, please let us know what happens.

Foxxee · ‎10-03-2014

@Kachina624 wrote:

@Foxxee wrote:
I'm probably more like your husband.

I dislike putting it this way, but euthansia to me is really murder, despite all the comments regarding allowing dogs and cats to suffer vs putting them out of their misery. It's still intentionally killing an animal. They have no say in the issue.

The best barometer, THE TIME, is when my dogs stopped eating. That was their message to me, it's time to go.
@Foxxee Don't you think inability to breathe might also be important criteria?

@Kachina624

Yes, breathing is certainly a consideration; however, when it gets bad enough, the dog will stop eating.

The OP said the dog's lungs are not filled with fluid. I don't know what the diagnosis is. I don't know how much the dog is struggling. Is she accurate with her description or being overly sensitive because the symptoms bother her so much. They don't seem to be bothering her husband as much. Some people overreact and euthanize their pets too soon saying they are suffering.

The way I see it if the dog was this down and out, it wouldn't be eating, drinking, and walking out to potty on its own.

Before I'd ever advise anyone to euthanize their dog, I'd want to evaluate it myself. I don't believe everything vets say either.

This is between her and her husband. I know she wanted to hear what others would do. I gave my opinion and you should know me by now, I rarely change it.

MaverDaver · ‎06-28-2013

Speaking for someone who has had to put two of my pets down I know it's not easy and is a very personal decision. Having said that, I use the following as a barometer. First and foremost if they no longer want to eat they are helping with your decision. I would give them their three favorite meals and if they're not interested, it's time. Also if they don't want to be near you and wander off to be alone, it's time. Lastly, you know when your beloved are struggling and if you accepted the choice of having a furry friend then you also accepted the vow to not let them suffer. Sending prayers to you and Lola.

THETOT · ‎10-03-2021

@Foxxee I feel the same way, anyway you look at it you are taking a life. They have no say and seeing them take their last breath horrifies me. My last dog looked up at me when they stuck the needle in her leg. I also have terrible guilt letting them suffer longer than they should so it is a horrible situation all around.

tarsmom · ‎03-21-2010

No one wants to make that choice ut my FF who is a lifelong vet tech (over 50 years) said most people wait way too long.

When the dog is no longer enjoying life (coughing, struggling to breathe, etc.) it's wrong to let that go on.

We had a neighbor who kept their large dog alive 2 years too long. It could barely walk, they had to deal with daily incontinence, and it was just heartbreaking to see. Wrong on so many levels.

Hope you can convince your hubby. Very sad but it's not fair to the animal.

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

@CAcableGirl2 wrote:
@fairydogmother If she is in pain, suffering, or her quality of life isn't good, it's time.

Frankly, I think it's selfish to allow your pet to suffer just because you aren't "ready" to let them go. Doing the right thing for your pet is part of having and LOVING a pet. There is no way I would allow my dog to go through unnecessary pain and suffering (for my own needs) when you are only prolonging the inevitable.

Sorry if I sound harsh, but I am a lover of animals and only want the best for them.

@fairydogmother This is sadly the truth. I understand how hard and heartbreaking this is.

We put down our 15 year old dog the summer of 2021. It broke my heart but it's not about me as sad as it made me feel....Your DH has to understand this. If your dog is suffering with no chance of getting better then it is time.

tarsmom · ‎03-21-2010

@DSD2 wrote:
My heart goes out to you.

It's obvious your husband loves Lola, as do you but you disagree as to what comes next. As he was there at the vets with you, he heard what you did and processed it differently. The myth that as long as they are able to eat means it's not the end is tragic.The ability to breathe is as important as ability to eat.

In terms of your relationship, can you/should you urge/make him come to the same decision as you? If you do, will he be filled with resentment toward you and berate himself for going along?

Even if the answers to the above are yes, in the end, we are charged as loving pet parents to always do what is best for our beloved children. To make the difficult decisions for those who are suffering and cannot make them for themselves. Perhaps you might ask your husband how he will feel watching her pain increase and struggle. Is it better to die peacefully or watch her suffer?

God bless, please let us know what happens.

That was very kindly put. <3

QVCkitty1 · ‎05-23-2015

I have had to do this several times, and it is soul crushing. However, when I made the decision it was to ease suffering so I knew it was the right way to go. I don't think you should put your human feelings on the animal, I feel when you have the opportunity to be kind think of your pet first.

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan

SeaMaiden · ‎03-10-2010

@fairydogmother Have someone come to your home to put your sweet Lola to rest... do not go to the vet office as that is so awful and stressful for both you and your pet.... It is the most kind gentle and peaceful way to put a loved pet to sleep at home.... I used Lap Of Love... you could google and see if they are in your area... the vet who came out was so wonderful and thoughtful and kind... if you have pet insurance, often the cost is covered

Your husband is just sad and does not want to lose his sweet girl... but, it sounds like her quality of life is stressful and painful... to put her to rest is a good and kind thing to do... not easy.... but the right thing to do.

I wish I could help you through this, but, nothing really heals other than time.... and knowing that you are doing the right thing.