Pet Lovers

[Sammycat1]

If he's spending time alone in the basement, he's hurting very badly. (I'm assuming this is a cat). I've had many cats with kidney failure, and it's rough--on them and on you.  When they isolate, it means pain.

You feel helpless. At one point I had 3 cats, and the youngest, Sammy, developed acute kidney failure.  He was my secret favorite and I held on too long.  Later, our most excellent vet consoled me with these practical but loving words:  "It's better to be one day early than one day late."  I had let Sammy go way too far--for me, not for him.

What you can do is to tell her to do what she's always done:  be his champion.  He's relying on them both to make good decisions for him now.  Being a champion is the hardest thing a person can do--part of it means putting your own grief second and your pet's welfare first.  We do that our pets' entire lives but so often at the end, we have a hard time on the follow-through. If they've exhausted every medical means possible, including fluids, they need to ask the vet:  "What would do if he were yours?"

Their kitty knows much they cherish him...he wouldn't have lived this long if they didn't!  It's never enough time with them, never--and you can say this to them because it's true.

Tell them to get in that basement and be with him, if they'll let him. He may be in too much pain now to allow them to hold him, but he may enjoy having them near.  Every day they should tell him how much they love him, how much he's meant to them, how they'll do everything possible to ease his suffering. It gives them something to do, which they need right now.

I don't type these words lightly--and I'm in tears as I type them.  But sometimes, it's the best, highest thing you can do for someone confronting this loss.  By telling them to "be his champion," you begin to gently suggest the bigger picture without telling them what to do.

Godspeed to this very special kitty and his very special pet parents. I always tell friends at this time in their pet's lives that the hearts that love the most, break the worst--especially when you've given your all to keep them comfortable, happy and alive. 

[bootsanne]

@Sammycat1Thank you for those kind words..  Her boy still makes visits during the night and a couple of times a day and uses his upstairs litter box.  He's very picky about eating but the vet says he is stable.  Between her and I, we've lost 7 over the years and the pain doesn't go away.  We try to take consolation in the joy they have given us, but right now the heartache is tough.  She is actually taking it better than me.  My 2 babies, 4 and 8, are healthy and happy.  She's been feeding an outdoor "visiting" kitty for over a year who I believe has been sent to her to help with this sadness.

[Sammycat1]

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@bootsanne wrote:

@Sammycat1Thank you for those kind words..  Her boy still makes visits during the night and a couple of times a day and uses his upstairs litter box.  He's very picky about eating but the vet says he is stable.  Between her and I, we've lost 7 over the years and the pain doesn't go away.  We try to take consolation in the joy they have given us, but right now the heartache is tough.  She is actually taking it better than me.  My 2 babies, 4 and 8, are healthy and happy.  She's been feeding an outdoor "visiting" kitty for over a year who I believe has been sent to her to help with this sadness.

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Then I will leave it with what our vet said to us when our cat was diagnosed with double-sided heart failure and expected to live a few days (I'm writing a book about him--the bugger lived almost 3 years!):   "Cherish every day."

[shortbreadlover]

saying goodbye to a beloved pet isw the hardest thing to do.

i made a promise to my dog that i wuld never hang on as along asi did with her.  i have kept htat promise and i am glad that i did so.  but it hurts so much.  i asked my vet why, if i did the right thing, why it hurt so much.  he told me that it was because i cared so much.

[NickNack]

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I'm so sorry for what your SIL and brother are going through.  I so agree with @Sammycat1.  I've had to say goodbye to too many pets.  All of them but one I euthanized.  The other one died on the operating table.  My Vet thought it was the right thing to do each time.  If the cat is in kidney failure he is in an awful lot of pain.  That's one of the most painful things a cat can go through according to my Vet.  The kindest thing to do would be to put him to sleep.  I know how hard it is to let go when you love your pet so very much.

I don't know if you can encourage your SIL and brother to do that or not, or even if you would want to, but it would be a kindness to her cat.  I apologize for being so blunt.  I care so much about animals and their pain.

[Mistic]

@Sammycat1 ~

Right Now ~ After Reading Your Post ~ Words Escape Me,

So Sending You {{{HUGS}}} .

[Shanus]

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@bootsanne wrote:

My SIL, who is one of the best people in the world, is in a bad way.  Her beloved boy , around 16-17, is having kidney failure.  He's lost a great deal of weight and spends most of his time by himself in the basement.  He goes to the vet constantly but she knows he's not going to last much longer.  Her and my brother and I are all childless so our babies are our kids.  They have great faith, and she is strong, but my brother is taking this very hard.  This is the last of their 3 kids and they feel they are too old to get another.  On top of the kittie's illness, her only sister has spent the last 2 months in and out of the hospital.  I'm crying while I'm typing this because I don't know how to comfort her.  So much sadness and loss as we get older.

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@bootsanne  I’m so sorry your family is going through a tough time. You asked about so much “sadness and loss as we get older”....That’s the circle of life. We take a fur baby into our heart and home knowing we’ll out live the little love. Would any of us trade the days, months, years we’ve had with them? When your sister needs your shoulder, just offer it and a box of tissues. That’s all any of us can do. 🌸