Pet Lovers

[RinaRina]

@geezerette wrote:

Oh Rina, I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss.  We always think as the last few months, weeks and days are upon us that we know the inevitable outcome and we are prepared.  But when it actually happens, we are not at all ready for the overwhelming grief and despair that decends on us.

I can't reiterate Birmama's posting to you more than she already did.  It wasn't your fault.  It probably wasn't even the veterinarians faults, either.  We take our loved ones to them looking for a miracle, to keep our babies with us happy and healthy as long as possible.  They can only do so much.  They don't hurt intentionally.   

I think we've all been in those situations where we blame ourselves for something out of our control, something that we think if we had done something differently the outcome would be what we wanted.  I'm still blaming myself for things I think I did that affected my little dog adversely.  (I lost her a few months ago.)  But with time, you will be able to see that realistically, you did all you could at the time with the information and ability you had.  What more could you have done?  To be blunt, there was no guarantee that your little girl would have done any better had you done anything differently.  It was her time to go.

Of course you are heartbroken.  It hurts me to even read about your anguish--I'm crying as I write this.  But it's done and she is now at peace.  Of course you are going to miss her and grieve for her and also, for a while, be angry--it's a natural reaction.  Time may never heal your wound completely, but it will soften the blow.  And one day, I do believe, you will be reunited with her and you both will be healthy and happy forever.

My sincere sympathies.

=====================================

Hi Geezerette<

I wanted to let you know how much your post helped me.  Everyday, I'd sign in & read your post and cry.  Then, this morning, "something" hit me.  I thought, "I've got to STOP.  I can't go on like this." Sooooo, ----

I went to my local dog shelter and went DOG-HUGGING for 3 hours.   OMG!  I felt so much better.  And .... I found a little dog that was lying in the corner trembling.  When I pulled the tag from the description window, all it said was "fearful".  That's all.  I asked two different attendants what was wrong with the dog.  They both said, "she's fearful".  Later, I saw a 3rd attendent and asked her if the dog was sick.  She said, "she's fearful".  I then mentioned to her that when I visited the shelter on Monday, this particular dog was not at the shelter.  She told me the dog had been adopted, but was brought back because she was fearful. Then ...  I asked her to take the dog out of the cage so we could go outside.  We played and played.  She was sooooo happy.  She was not fearful!  LOL!

DOGGIE HUGS heal all wounds.

THANKS for your post, Geezerette.  You helped me so much!

[RinaRina]

You are not going to believe this.

I went back to the shelter to put in adoption papers for the dog.

They would not let me have the dog because --- TWELVE YEARS AGO, when I adopted my first dog from them (the one who died 2 weeks ago that I was grieving over), I complained about the veterinarian at their clinic.

Disgusting!

[geezerette]

@RinaRina,

First of all, thank you for your kind words.  I do know how much our furry family members mean to us and how hard it is to say good-bye. I'm glad my words gave you at least a little bit of comfort when you most needed them--that's how they were intended.

And I'm glad that you found some solace at your shelter, but somewhat shocked at the reaction you received about the adoption.  Obviously I'm not familiar with the details of your situation, but I wonder if it would be worth your while to inquire further with the superiors at the shelter.  Especially since you're wanting a dog that's already proven difficult to place.  It does seem a little strange. 

I know this must come as another blow after your recent loss.  Please think about your decision to adopt this dog.  I truly admire you for your desire to adopt, and goodness knows, this dog (along with all the rest at all the shelters) need and deserve the good and loving home that you would supply.  But you do need to make sure that your emotions are in the right place so soon after losing your beloved companion.  Speaking for myself, I just recently tried to get another puppy, but in the end it didn't work out.  At first I was mad, then sad, and then just disappointed.  Finally I decided that maybe it just wasn't the right time yet and I needed to wait.  (I'm a big believer that things happen for a reason.) 

It's always hard to leave a shelter empty-handed.  There is always at least one animal that speaks to us.  If you truly think that this new dog is "the one" for you, by all means, pursue it in every way possible.  This might be the exact right thing for you and the dog. This is a decision only you can make.

I do wish you the best and hope that whatever happens with this dog, I know that at some point, there will be another lucky animal in your life.  You obviously are a loving, sensitive and caring person. 

[RinaRina]

Hi Geezerette,

After I put in the application, the Manager of the shelter immediately put a "code" on the card which meant they were NO LONGER taking apps for the dog.  Mine was the only application.  It was obvious to everyone, the dog bonded to me.  I KNEW I had the dog.  I went back later that evening and stayed another hour.  So, I was there a total of 4 hours yesterday.  The woman at the front desk told me they would call me in the morning to give me more info re: "fearfulness" in dogs.  THEN -- they spit in my face.

Last nite, they called me and told me they still had the email I'd sent to the Director of the shelter years ago complaining about their veterinary care, therefore, I could NOT have the dog.  

I will not name the Vet here, but she IS a vindictive *#@(^%.  She was then, and she is now.  Can you imagine what a huge EGO that woman has?  She doesn't care about the dog.  She only cares about an email I sent years ago.  And, the email was not even about HER;  it was about the technicians.   

The heck with 'em!  However, you STILL HELPED me because it took that experience for me to realize, my house "felt" empty without a dog.  

I will continue doing research on FOSTERING.  Since I have to have knee replacement surgery sometime in the Fall, I just won't adopt permanently at this time.

Thanks again for your kind words and thoughts.

[geezerette]

RinaRina,

I’m glad that you channeled your disappointment into a constructive alternative. Your idea to foster is great! You see what I mean about things happening for a reason, in that you realized that perhaps now is not quite the right time for a permanent addition to your family after all, given the fact of your upcoming knee replacement.

So many adoption services are in desperate need of foster homes that I’m sure you’ll have no trouble connecting with one that fits you.  My niece got the last three of her dogs through the fostering program of a local rescue organization she belongs to; as often happens she fell in love with the dogs she started fostering. If you keep us updated here on your progress, I’ll bet there are some on this forum who have or are at present fostering and could give you some good tips and advice

.

Good luck with your research—now you have a goal and something to look forward to!