Anyone Here ever worked @ a Shelter or Animal Resc... - Page 4

HappyDaze · ‎06-13-2012

@Kachina624 wrote:
@RinaRina wrote:
@HappyDaze wrote:
Not to be rude but at this point, just by reading your posts regarding this, I would have to side with them and not have you foster, at least not at this time.
======
And, you ARE being rude. Nothing like poking a gal in eyes when she's down. For G*d's sake, my dog just died. Regardless of what you "really" think, can't you at least have the decency to show some empathy. You're being abusive. I'm going to have to put you on ignore.

Good nite.

Rina, just because you don't like another person's opinion or agree with them, doesn't make them rude. Perhaps the wound from losing you dog is still too fresh. Take some time for it to heal, then start your search for the perfect companion.

PS: There is no ignore on these new boards.

That is right, just because you don't agree doesn't make it rude. I think due to the recent passing of your dog and the lengthy illness he experienced and that you dealt with, you really need some time to heal and recover from the emotional stress. I did not say you should never, I said at this time I would not. If I said I was not being rude, I meant it. You are reacting to my posts the same you reacted to the vets and shelters that told you things you don't want to hear. Take a deep breath, relax and give yourself a chance to heal and come to terms all with all you and your precious dog went through over the past several months.

ETA: I forgot to metion that I DO work with rescue groups and the local animal shelter. I also rehab injured wildlife at times. So that is the place I am coming from and you actually asked if anyone has worked with a shelter or animal rescue so I was trying to give you the perspective we may have based on what you shared with us.

HappyDaze · ‎06-13-2012

@RinaRina wrote:
@HappyDaze wrote:
Why are they snobs? You wrote some not-so-nice things because of what they were telling you about your dog (and what you didn't want to hear) and then you expect them to allow you to foster with them?
================================

You're confused. The above message is regarding the LAST rescue place I contacted. I never wrote any disparaging remarks to them. In fact, I never even filled out the application. All they had was my name (from my email address) and pictures of my backyard, which they claimed they didn't get. As I said, I resent one pic this morning, and then got a nasty response. My yard is a weird shape??? Really?? Well, my LAB really enjoyed it for TWELVE years! So did my neighbor's dog who used to wander in my backyard all the time.

I guess I was confused and didn't understand you were only referring to that one place. I apologize if I misunderstood your comment.

RinaRina · ‎03-13-2010

@pommom wrote:
RinaRina, I sense that you've had it pretty rough with the passing of your beloved companion. From your posts, it sounds like you're in pain and have had a lot of frustration and disappointment to boot.

The death of a pet can take a toll. Please take time to be kind to yourself. Give yourself some time and space to heal. There are grief support groups for those who have lost their pets. I would look into something like this. It really helps you move on to a life without your companion and perhaps, IF and WHEN you're ready, welcoming a new furbaby. And if not, that's okay, too.

My heartfelt thoughts are with you. Many have suggested a time for healing. I echo that sentiment. When one is in pain following a loss, decisions and actions may not be characteristic of one's personality. We understand and wish you healing. Sending you hugs and keeping you in my thoughts as you gently let go.

=====================================

Pommom, Thanks for your kind words. I woke up crying this morning and had terrible nightmares last nite. The only thing that made me stop crying was, I realized, THIS IS MY FAULT. I CAUSED MY DOG'S DEATH, so I have no one to blame but myself.. I've been living in the same neighborhood since 1970. Many of the people who live here were here before I was. Few of the neighbors ever move. Most of the people who live here, die here, so, we all know eachother. When their kids grow up, they buy houses here and stay in the neighborhood. One of my neighbors has an exceptionally huge back yard -- about an acre. Since I don't like to use my cane, occasionally, when I would have difficulty walking (I'm getting knee replacements next month), if my neighbor & his GF were in their yard, instead of walking my dog, I would sit and talk to them and let my dog roam in their yard. Depending on the weather, we'd chat for 30 minutes or so, and then I'd go home.

Last August (2014), I could bareIy make it back to my house after walking my dog, so, I stopped at the neighbor's to rest. When I got up to leave, my dog wouldn't "come" when I called her. She was eating something in their yard. My neighbor said he'd get my dog for me. He picked her up and threw her. I was so shocked, I just stood there like an idiot. I can't tell you how angry I was and cannot post here what I eventually said and did to him later. I found out in May 2015 that every segment in xxx's back was damaged; the cervical, the thoracic, and the lumbar .. The nerve damage in her sacrum was so severe, she couldn't wag her tail anymore. I suppose, that's why the last vet (the nice one) emailed me after xxx died, and said, she just couldn't fight anymore. I suppose the pain of her spinal injuries, her Cushings disease, the Enalapril (meds) "attacking" her deteriorating kidneys ... it was too much. Someone asked me why I let my dog loose in my neighbor's backyard. I've known him for years. He has dogs and cats and works on a farm! I never expected him to do such a thing.

I was told later, by another neighbor, he's an alcoholic and was probably drunk.

It doesn't matter. This was my fault. Subconsciously, I know this. I suppose that's why my grief is so deep. All the money I spent couldn't repair the damage. The money couldn't make up for the mistake I made.

I'm 65 yrs. old. I'd NEVER had a dog in my life. I'd always had cats & birds. I feel terribly guilty about what I've done, as I would never intentionally bring harm to any animal.

Now, I understand why people love dogs so much. This sounds stupid, but it's like losing a spouse, or parent -- or worse, a child. I've been told outliving your own child is the worst grief one can ever experience.

This is bad.

"The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become."

geezerette · ‎03-16-2010

@RinaRina wrote:
@pommom wrote:
RinaRina, I sense that you've had it pretty rough with the passing of your beloved companion. From your posts, it sounds like you're in pain and have had a lot of frustration and disappointment to boot.

The death of a pet can take a toll. Please take time to be kind to yourself. Give yourself some time and space to heal. There are grief support groups for those who have lost their pets. I would look into something like this. It really helps you move on to a life without your companion and perhaps, IF and WHEN you're ready, welcoming a new furbaby. And if not, that's okay, too.

My heartfelt thoughts are with you. Many have suggested a time for healing. I echo that sentiment. When one is in pain following a loss, decisions and actions may not be characteristic of one's personality. We understand and wish you healing. Sending you hugs and keeping you in my thoughts as you gently let go.

=====================================
Pommom, Thanks for your kind words. I woke up crying this morning and had terrible nightmares last nite. The only thing that made me stop crying was, I realized, THIS IS MY FAULT. I CAUSED MY DOG'S DEATH, so I have no one to blame but myself.. I've been living in the same neighborhood since 1970. Many of the people who live here were here before I was. Few of the neighbors ever move. Most of the people who live here, die here, so, we all know eachother. When their kids grow up, they buy houses here and stay in the neighborhood. One of my neighbors has an exceptionally huge back yard -- about an acre. Since I don't like to use my cane, occasionally, when I would have difficulty walking (I'm getting knee replacements next month), if my neighbor & his GF were in their yard, instead of walking my dog, I would sit and talk to them and let my dog roam in their yard. Depending on the weather, we'd chat for 30 minutes or so, and then I'd go home.
Last August (2014), I could bareIy make it back to my house after walking my dog, so, I stopped at the neighbor's to rest. When I got up to leave, my dog wouldn't "come" when I called her. She was eating something in their yard. My neighbor said he'd get my dog for me. He picked her up and threw her. I was so shocked, I just stood there like an idiot. I can't tell you how angry I was and cannot post here what I eventually said and did to him later. I found out in May 2015 that every segment in xxx's back was damaged; the cervical, the thoracic, and the lumbar .. The nerve damage in her sacrum was so severe, she couldn't wag her tail anymore. I suppose, that's why the last vet (the nice one) emailed me after xxx died, and said, she just couldn't fight anymore. I suppose the pain of her spinal injuries, her Cushings disease, the Enalapril (meds) "attacking" her deteriorating kidneys ... it was too much. Someone asked me why I let my dog loose in my neighbor's backyard. I've known him for years. He has dogs and cats and works on a farm! I never expected him to do such a thing.
I was told later, by another neighbor, he's an alcoholic and was probably drunk.
It doesn't matter. This was my fault. Subconsciously, I know this. I suppose that's why my grief is so deep. All the money I spent couldn't repair the damage. The money couldn't make up for the mistake I made.
I'm 65 yrs. old. I'd NEVER had a dog in my life. I'd always had cats & birds. I feel terribly guilty about what I've done, as I would never intentionally bring harm to any animal.
Now, I understand why people love dogs so much. This sounds stupid, but it's like losing a spouse, or parent -- or worse, a child. I've been told outliving your own child is the worst grief one can ever experience.
This is bad.

Rina,

How it pains me to hear you speak like this again. Let me ask you this: Did you harm your dog purposely? Did you know before he did it that your neighbor was going to hurt your dog and you let him do it anyway? Did you purposely take your dog to veterinarians that tried their best to inflict pain on your dog? Do you see how ridiculous those questions sound? NONE OF THAT WAS YOUR FAULT! But what is your fault is continuing to blame yourself for all that. I know that people grieve in different ways and for different lengths of time. Grieve your dog, miss your dog, continue to love your dog and think of the wonderful life you had in the time you had together. But please do not continue to blame yourself. You did what you thought was best. Hindsight is always 20-20. Put away the “what if” game. You are only hurting yourself and marring the memory of your beloved dog.

I think something that may also be affecting you at this time is your own physical condition. If you are in pain and will be undergoing surgery soon, please try to take this time to let go of all those negative emotions. You will heal much better that way. And if you continue to hold onto all that negativity, you won’t be in any condition to adopt any other animal in the future.

I say these things in part because I can relate to you. I’m about your age, have a few chronic health problems of my own, and we recently lost our best buddy after 14 years. Our dog started having health problems early on and we often told each other she wouldn’t be with us as long as our other dogs. But when in her middle years she started developing even more issues, I started blaming myself. If we hadn’t moved cross-country to a different environment she wouldn’t have developed strange immune disorders. The vets here are awful and if I hadn’t taken her to one vet who botched a surgery, she wouldn’t have had ongoing problems from that. If only, if only. But in truth when I look at the situation rationally, I have no idea what kind of life or how long it would have been “if only” I had done something else. And I had no good choice regarding some things. If we had stayed where she had a wonderful vet, I may still have a dog, but chances are good I wouldn’t have a husband, since that environment was killing him. I love my little dog, and I miss her every single day. I still cry and grieve for her. But I did the best I could for her at the time and that’s all I could have done.

As for your rescue experiences, I haven’t dealt with any rescue organizations personally. But I have a friend who just lost her dog a few months ago and is in the process of trying to adopt from a breed-specific rescue organization. Her dog was about ten years old and was a rescue. She has adopted most of her dogs through those organizations for years. She just said that the process of adopting now has gotten extremely strict since she got her dog ten years ago. And this woman is familiar with the process, has a great reputation with the rescues, and is still being put through the ringer to get a dog. I, myself, tried to get a dog from a breeder a few weeks ago, and apparently I didn’t meet her qualifications since she dropped me like a hot potato. It’s not just you, Rina.

Please forgive this lengthy post. And I don’t mean to preach. I can’t tell you what to do or how to live your life. Only you can make those decisions. But I think you are a kind and sensitive person with much to give any animal and I hate to see you continually beating yourself up. There is no right way to adopt an animal. If you choose to let another animal into your life in the future, a path will be available. In the meantime, try to go just a little lighter on yourself. Try to love yourself like your dog loved you: unconditionally. It would be a fitting tribute to her.

Havarti · ‎03-08-2014

I remember you from the old board. You asked for help with your dog (at that time it was that your dog had been thrown over a fence by a neighbor) - any ideas or thoughts that might help because you hated all the many vets you had seen and you felt they had all hurt your dog in some way in through their treatment plan. As soon as people offered ideas or suggestions you attacked them. If you tried something and it did not immediately cure your dog you blamed the person who offerd the idea. The only thing that made you happy was sympathy. It seems the same it true now. i have loved and lost pets, and it is heartbreaking. But blaming everyone is not the answer to your grief. You are your own worst enemy. What you put out is what prevents you from getting what you want. A little introspection might be worth your time.

Snarky responders need not reply. Move along and share your views elsewhere.

RinaRina · ‎03-13-2010

Hi Havarti,

Thanks for your reply. Fortunately, due to all the kind responses here, everyone has helped me A LOT. I have no argument with what you've said. I'm glad you remembered my post, as I'd been worried sick over my dog for quite a while.

This was my first dog and her death process was a long, gradual one, and extremely emotionally painful for me.

I want to thank you and everyone for listening to me whine so much.

You were all so helpful and gave me good advice.

I take one day at a time and every day I feel better.

*** THANK YOU ***

"The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become."