@violann wrote:
@Mominohio wrote:
I think the positive type of modeling for avoiding unwanted behavior only goes so far. Even with young children, at some point, discipline or removal from the situation has to be brought in when they don't understand or conform to the rules.
It seems kids today have so many more 'issues' than in my day, with all kinds of conditions and syndromes that weren't understood back in the day. So perhaps this child has need of a diagnosis and the help that comes with it.
But the bottom line is that in my opinion, the entire class should never suffer because one child has an issue or behavior problem especially when it involves their personal body and space being violated.
And I would applaud the teacher for being honest that my child wasn't the only one experiencing this. It would help me to understand that my child wasn't being singled out by this student, and that she seems to have a bigger problem. It would allow me to be more understanding and think the girl needed help.
I couldn't agree more that "the class shouldn't suffer", but "modeling" is only a small part of changing behaviors in preschool. Structuring the class environment to support not touching is not rocket science and teaching all the children where hands belong is a major part of getting along.
I'm not sure I understand why it's helpful to any of the children to inform parents of complaints from other parents.
Classroom attention to issues is a very useful way to determine whether children need "diagnosis". A child who has received instruction in a social skills area and is unable ( for whatever reason) to conform may need some sort of evaluation and the objective observations of an astute teacher can be an excellent starting point.
You can call it objective observation, or evaluation or diagnosis, but this little girl has either a behavior problem or she has an issue that needs addressed medically or psychologically. But because some time has passed, it involved more than just one student in the class, and parents and teacher have recognized it and attempted correction, more needs to be done.
I will state again that the entire class shouldn't be disrupted, held back, or re focused, or made uncomfortable, every time one student acts out inappropriately, regardless of the reason. I didn't appreciate it when I was a student, I didn't appreciate it when I was a mother of a student. It's time for classrooms to get back to NOT catering to the one or two disruptive students, at the expense of all the others that seem to fall within the ability to follow the rules or carry on appropriate behaviors, regardless of the reasons it is happening.
I get the sense that there may be a lot of hand wringing and concerned talk going on between parents and teacher, but in my opinion, if it were my child who was exhibiting this behavior, I would be glad to know it, and take the next steps to finding out what is at the root of this behavior. She needs some kind of intervention before she is outcast and bullied by the others, and the others need to be able to feel safe and secure and be able to focus on what they are there to learn. And yes, learning to deal with people like this, who do things you don't like, is a lesson in itself. One the parents and school could teach by showing some compassion and some action to get to the bottom of why this behavior continues.
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