Mom to Mom

[lynbeechwood]

Ok I have been reading all of your posts about sending your children to college- I need help majorly! My daughter will be graduating this year from high school and DEFINiTELy is planning to go to college at a distance- anywhere from 1 to 5 hours away. I dont know how to deal with this! Of course I am so proud of her and want her to thrive in this period of her life but I am already freaking out - like how am I gonna "do" this. I am afraid of all sorts of things but mainly not hearing from her and wondering what if something is horribly wrong. I want to be strong and just act like - ok this is great - go off and have a great time but im totally scared! My daughter has worked hard to get through high school and has always had an independent spirit-how domi learn to let her go---a bit?

[jackthebear]

First she has to be accepted somewhere

[Hoovermom]

Enjoy the year you still have left with her and not spoil it by all the worry.

[Silverandgold]

I think you have to realize you did a good job raising her as that is the natural progression of things. We all have to let go & let them find their way. My son graduated college 2 yrs ago & is working FT, dating someone for 18 months so I'm a bit ahead of you, but even though I had a son I was very involved with all his activities & worried myself nuts when he started driving & was out late. I worried who he was with, what kinds of friends he was making, what was going on, where was he, was he going to class, etc. Many late nights of thankfully, needless worry. It's hard not controlling everything, but I feel so blessed that he did well & continues to grow & experience new things. If she has a good foundation, take comfort in that & believe she will make the right choices. I always tried to shut off the negative tapes in my mind if they started & didn't want to waste energy on the what ifs. (much easier said than done, but it is good advice).

[chrystaltree]

You just do it. Stop worrying about it. You are making yourself crazy for no reason. Trust me; when the time comes, you will instinctively know how to deal with it all. For now, relax and enjoy her senior year activites.

[sparklestar]

Take a deep, deep breath and when the time comes, just let go. Think of it as her time to fly. You will adjust. It just takes time. There's no magical solution. Don't waste the time you have with her now worrying.

[lynbeechwood]

Thank you ....I was a very introverted teen and I commuted to a local college-- I do want her to experience college --maybe I am mourning the time that has passed bye? I want to actually help her with this experience in a positive way and not have her worry about me! So thank you for the tips!

[Mary Bailey]

You'll figure it out. Now you're just coming to terms with it.

[Another new name Sue]

I don't mean this unkindly, but you are worrying about yourself too much. You have to stand up and have your own life and activities, and let this wonderful young woman enjoy the roots and wings you have given her. She'll admire you for your independence, and she doesn't want to think of you at home wringing your hands and waiting for the phone to ring. That would push her away, believe me! Don't worry, you'll hear from her, and she'll be back.

When I was 20, I left my mother to go live in a third world country. It was at a terrible time in her life, and I know she would have valued my companionship at that time, but she never once, not once, said a word that she did not want me to go and have this adventure of living in another part of the world. I've always appreciated that she loved me enough to let me go.

[Marienkaefer2]

O/p, is this Your daughter that you posted about awhile back who was interested in nursing? If so, sounds like she is doing well! Things that might help you to cope with her leaving are: visiting the campus she's interested in. Taking a campus tour and speaking with counselors, advisors, and other students there to get a feel for student life, etc. Once she's in, attend any parent weekends, etc. My mom let two of us go at the same time. I went to Austria and my brother went into the Marine Corps. She said she was sad, but she coped and it got better. And at that time, there weren't cell phones, texting, or Skype.