Mom to Mom

[Carmie]

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@Reever wrote:

A 90 year old man sexually active and cruising around in a convertible ? I find this hard to believe. 

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Why?  He ain’t dead yet!

[Financialgrl]

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@CalminHeart wrote:

Don't give him any money unless you are ready to say it's a gift.  Period.  

Family members sometimes need help and that's perfectly ok.  In your FIL's case, it sounds like he needs a reality check.

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Yep, just gonna say this.  My brother's family routinely outright asks for money (not to borrow mind you, to "give") and we got a sizable inheritance from dad about 5 years ago.  Their money slipped through their fingers like a sieve.  ought a lot of frivolous stuff that to this day they had to sell and take a loss.   And, never my brother asking, it's always his wife or two very grown daughters.  I asked him if he knew this and he said no - I told him I'm not their personal ATM and told him to stop all calls for money here.  They can go get a loan if they want something badly enough.  

[Regal Bee]

I don't give money to family.....I have learned the hard way.

I will purchase whatever they need or pay bills, if needed, to some point.....but NO money.

[LilacTree]

When I have it, I give it.  And I don't expect to get it back.  I was a 40-year working mother and very used to supporting my loved ones when they needed it.  When I didn't have it, they didn't get it.  Simple.

"Money" means nothing to me, I've always managed.  My little brother is the same way with his family, only he supports them all.  All he says about it is that "they're getting it now, there won't be anything left when I'm gone, so they are spending their inheritance."

My LTC will end in seven years.  That's when I will need help and I know I will get it if I'm still around.  My girls are doing well and are not materialistic or spendthrifts.

They always laugh and say, "don't compliment anything mom is wearing or has on her shelf, because she'll take it off and give it to you."

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@Mominohio wrote:

The original post is more than confusing.

I get the general idea that the question is about giving money to family members, and if this poster does not speak English as a first language or has some impairment to communication, I apologize right off. But honestly, full sentences, punctuation and clearly stated ideas would help to be able to respond effectively to such posts. 

I don't give relatives or friends money....ever....unless it is a gift for some occasion. We have always tried to live by the 'never a borrower or a lender be' philosophy. 

I'd pay anything my mom needed for her survival or living needs if she would ever have need for me to do so, and even at that, I'd never just hand her money. I'd pay what needed to be paid. 

One of the quickest ways to ruin a relationship is to lend/borrow money.

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Well said, you are a very smart lady.  I was conned for years by one of my daughters who lived in a different state.  Constantly called needing money and I was foolish enough to send it to her.  Live and learn they say.