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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,039
Registered: ‎03-29-2020

"Assisted Living"...do you have any idea how much that costs? It's not like dropping 50 cents on a candy bar; it's a MAJOR investment, almost like buying a house. I know because my m.i.l. was in one 20+ years ago and it was something like $40K+ a year. I can only imagine the cost now, as well as what they charge for the extras.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,961
Registered: ‎05-01-2010

@GoneButNotForgotten wrote:

"Assisted Living"...do you have any idea how much that costs? It's not like dropping 50 cents on a candy bar; it's a MAJOR investment, almost like buying a house. I know because my m.i.l. was in one 20+ years ago and it was something like $40K+ a year. I can only imagine the cost now, as well as what they charge for the extras.


@GoneButNotForgotten  You are right about assisted living. People think it's so easy but it's not. My parents paid seven thousand dollars a month. Outrageous, but they liked the place and were happy there.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,540
Registered: ‎05-24-2010

@becca louI am sorry for your loss. It must be hard to feel all alone. The local police usually have a program where they call you each day to make sure you are OK. If you don't answer they will come to your home and check on you.

 

There are times when communication is the problem between people. The next time one of your children contacts you tell them what you need. Don't hint, and don't expect them to know what you want from them. Then be prepared to negotiate with them. Maybe they can't come by everyday, but they can certainly call everyday.

 

If there is alcohol involved that is a different situation all together. You can't rely on someone that has a dependency issue.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,183
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

In that case, I hope you wear one of those bracelets or necklaces, so you can pinch the button and have help.  Look into that.  I think anyone who is alone, that that is a good course to take.  Especially as you age and may be prone to dizzyness or falls.  It's a great idea, and I'm thankful we had it for my folks.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,970
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Sorry for the loss of your husband! That is so hard, i'm sure...My moms good friend lives in an apartment complex with other seniors where they have activities to participate in if you are interested, and sometimes they even have meals together.....

 

It is not assisted living, it is Senior Apt Complex, so you have a small apartment, but there are activities and everyone that lives there is 55 and up...

 

She loves it and its much cheaper than assisted living which is extremely expensive!!!!!!!! Good Luck and in the meantime please consider getting a Life Alert Necklace.....Let us know what you end up doing! Take Care!  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,322
Registered: ‎02-09-2016

I do know how they drink. And it's bad and mostly alot. I love them and am kind to them but I do not know why they tend to be cruel by not returning my calls. I don't want my audult children to suffer if and when I pass away I just want to see them be concern about me. I was there for my parents when they neede me. And I thought mine would learn from how I was to my parents when they neede me. Just Stumped by there actions !!My oldest is my emergency number for contact and am very concerned if they don't seem to respond to me , how they will in an emergency. ??

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,322
Registered: ‎02-09-2016

Thank-You for your help and concern but I hope that is way down the line. My husband and I put alot of time and money into our home and it's home don''t want to let go of it unless forced to downsize. But tha you for you thoughtfulness and it's nice for so many to be so caring about me. Thanks to All. My prayers are for all of who have responded so kindly.I am working on what to do and My income is not for alot of help. I have checked out many.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,322
Registered: ‎02-09-2016

When my kids needed help I was there. But when I wasn't able always I was told by my oldest that he told he thought that's what parents should do. So now is my turn , I don't ask for much just a phone call or an occasional come and spend some time with me. Maybe I wrong to ask this. I don't think so I was 150% Mom to them always. I am hurting more because of their non- actions to me.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,557
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

@becca lou 

Based on your responses, my advice to you is to work on strengthening the bonds with your children, who I'm guessing are sons.  

Do your best to take care of yourself and your personal needs.   Not all children can deal with a clingy, needy mother, and that is usually shown by their staying away.   

The absolute worst thing you can do is a cry wolf test to see who responds to you.   Went thru that in the middle of the night with my Mamaw right after Papaw died, and it didn't sit too well with either of us, as I had to work the next day, and did not pack her up and bring her home with me as she wanted.   

If your children see you as a strong woman pushing forward on your own and doing for yourself, they will be there WHEN you need them.  Making them feel like you need them ALL the time will not result in a good outcome.   

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,763
Registered: ‎05-21-2010

Becca Lou,.  First of all letme say I am very sorry for the loss of your husband. Right now you are in a period of adjustment to living alone and you are grieving. So things are hard for you now. You have been given some good suggestions by the kind posters here. I don't know your age or physical condition.  If you are frail and afraid of falling or being alone, please ask your doctor to recommend a medical alert service. That way if you fall you can get help quickly. Meals on wheels provides not only  food but someone who will come to your door and check on you.  When you are up to it investigate the senior centers in your area. Where I am from the hospitals have Smart Senior programs. There are exercise classes geared to senior needs, lectures, movies and occasional luncheons. Today there are a lot of programs for seniors. Start by checking into Senior Citizens in your area. Try to take control of your life and not depend on your children. We don't know what your relationship is with your children. Family relationships are often complicated. Good luck and take care.