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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,267
Registered: ‎02-09-2016

My kids don't respond to checking on me now that I'm alone. I LOST MY HUSBAND fEBRUARY 18, 2021.AND i AM SO AFRAID OF FALLING AND GETTING HURT AND THEY WON'T CARE, OR HELP ME IF i NEED HELP. bUT i AM SUSPECTING THEY WILL BE DRUNK WHEN i NEED THEM. i AM WISHING i WOULD QUIT BEING STUPID THAT THEY DON'T GIVE A SHAKE.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 572
Registered: ‎05-01-2020

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

Are there neighbors or church people, etc you could ask to check on you? 

T.H.I.N.K. before you speak.
Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind?
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,215
Registered: ‎09-18-2010

I'm very sorry for the loss of your husband, and I'm sorry your children aren't more supportive and caring, @becca lou. Could you get a life alert button? I think if I were living by myself I would get one. Its a button you wear on your wrist or anound your neck and if you need help you just push the botton and they will call the police or someone to come help you. 

 

My neighbors wears one, she lives by herself also. She had a stroke a few months ago, doesnt' even remember pushing the botton, but thank God the amulance came and took her to the ER. 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,051
Registered: ‎04-30-2012

So sorry for the loss of your husband.   Have you looked into a home health aide or sitter to assist  with your daily needs ?  someday your children will regret not being there for you as you were for them.  I wish you all the best

Honored Contributor
Posts: 47,715
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@becca lou    You're in a period of adjustment and must realize that you and you alone are now responsible for your health and safety.  I'm in the same boat so I take every vaccine my doctor recommends and take care of my health.  I take reasonable care with my security and if I was worried about falling and injuring myself, I'd sign up for a service where I'd wear a medical alert device. 

 

Do you have friends or know people at church?  Perhaps you could ask one to check in with you by phone once a day.  As soon as it's possible, get out and mix with other people.  I bet you're lonely and spend too much time worrying about your inconsiderate kids.  You can't control their actions but you can control yours. 

 

I hope as the weather warms and flowers bloom your able to achieve a more cheerful outlook. 

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,636
Registered: ‎05-12-2012

could you move into an assisted living facility.....don't know your age....but there would be people there to keep an eye on you.....please take care....

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,340
Registered: ‎05-02-2017

 

 

 

It is very sad for me to read all the posts from mothers complaining about their adult children not taking care of them enough, and the many other posts from ladies saying they had bad mother experiences, and they do not want to keep in touch with their own mothers.

 

I think everybody has an image of what they think is a perfect relationship, but reality never measures up to one's dreams.

 

I am not sure what kind of help you really want from your children--for them to move in full-time with you?  Why do you accuse your children of being drunk, or why do you think of yourself as stupid?  

 

Unfortunately we all age and we will need more help. Sadly we will experience many deaths of friends and family as well.  It is important to accept that process and plan ahead.  If you did not have children, how would you be surviving right now? How did your own parents deal with their life changes?

 

I think you are still grieving the loss of your husband and you are angry at the way life is right now.  My deepest condolences.  

 

Perhaps you could call a family council and ask your children for input and help to create a plan for yourself for this new stage in your life.  Think of your children as partners and be kind to them, for they are probably also grieving the loss of their father. Other support system folks could be your church members, long-time friends, siblings, close neighbors, and so forth. You may want to consult a lawyer and an accountant to ensure you have all your affairs in good order, and visit a doctor to have a full medical report.

 

You do not need to live in fear, but live with hope.  Life is too short for all of us, and we need to remember our blessings and live as fully as possible.  Best wishes.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,239
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

I don't know your age or your physical condition.  There are social groups out there... community centers, travel clubs, and all kinds of recreational and community programs.  Think about your interests and see if there  is a group that will support your desire to do it.  

 

I am not in your situation but know those who are.  We are a member of square dance groups where singles mingle and have a good time.  Many couple relationships  are formed as well.  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,412
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

Dear, sweet @becca lou , your post makes me so sad. I am sorry that you lost your husband, I'm sure that you miss him dearly. 

 

 

Can you have a friend or neighbor call to check on you daily? I would definitely get a Life Alert necklace.

 

 

Also, check to see what services are available to you at your local Senior Resource Center. I know some have a system where they will call you every morning, to check on you.

 

Once this virus thing settles down (if it ever does) I would look into moving in to a senior retirement facility. That way you will be surrounded by people who actually do care for your well being. Some of these places are really nice! You have your own "apartment", and some have little kitchenettes, or you can go down to the dining room if you don't feel like cooking. You can do your own laundry if you wish, or you can have someone do it for you. You can socialize as much as you want, and there is piece of mind knowing that if you should slip and fall, there are panic buttons throughout your apartment.  You wouldn't have to live in fear anymore.

 

 

I wish you all the best!

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Super Contributor
Posts: 258
Registered: ‎04-04-2016

@becca lou I'm sorry for your loss.  Prayers for peace and strength.  My mom was homebound in her final years.  She had a few ladies she would call daily.  One of these ladies she had never met in person but she considered mom her best friend.  Maybe there are ladies in your community that could become a contact for you and you for them.  Does your community have a  bereavement group?  Maybe this would be helpful for you at this time.  Take care.  Stay strong.