Would you love your child . . . - Page 5

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

I think a test for parents is we have to come to the realization that there are things beyond our control. Our kids are going to do what they are going to do and we have the makeup to forgive and love or not. I think I could forgive my only child anything, but I don't know for sure.

GSPgirl · ‎01-03-2012

Yes! My daughter put me through the wringer from age 13 to her early 20's. I never gave up on her and we are very close now. I didn't like her at times, but I have always loved her.

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@GSPgirl wrote:
Yes! My daughter put me through the wringer from age 13 to her early 20's. I never gave up on her and we are very close now. I didn't like her at times, but I have always loved her.

@GSPgirl

Good for you! I love hearing that. I have a very close and loving relationship with my other three daughters and am so grateful for it.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

OMGosh! Someone said 'even if they were a serial killer or rapist'. No way! How could I love a monster? They could be capable of harming me!

Think of Scott Peterson....his (stupid) mother stood by him the whole trial. He threw his wife's body in San Francisco Bay. A very big part of her is still out there. And her grandchild.

Would be like loving Hitler....

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@LilacTree-Does this daughter mourn you? Do you think she dreams of you?

Or can she go on her daily life and not give you a second thought.

I would just stick with the sweet daughters. You did your part, you did nothing wrong. You didn't *choose* a daughter, you stuck with the one that was thrown under a bus. What loving mother wouldn't?

alicedee · ‎07-25-2010

No one has the right to tell you that you cannot have a loving relationship with your child....no matter what. They can certainly put parameters on their involvement....no get-togethers, etc. But you have a right to be in relationships with ALL of your children....not just the perfectly behaved ones.

If another child would cut you out of their life for that...it is highly manipulative.

It seems you want to be told it's ok to cut out the "bad" daughter. Did the therapist tell you what was hard to hear, so he/she "couldn't help you"?

If you feel feel confident in your decision to not have anything to do with this daughter, then you shouldn't need validation here.

sophiamarie · ‎08-08-2013

@alicedee There are some posters here who need "validation" for everything they say - otherwise the negative replies are mysteriously "gone". No reason given. Could it be they are close with the mods? Don't the mods usually give a reason for poofing a post? I just saw more than one post disappear with no reason given. It's like they never existed. Copy this one, as proof that it did exist.

sophiamarie · ‎08-08-2013

Is it just me or did a couple of posts disappear for no reason? They were not "argumentative, political, religious, unkind, etc." Actually, they were honest and truthful. Is there something wrong with that? Why was no reason given for deleting them? We don't even know which "mod" did the poofing?

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@Lucky Charm wrote:
OMGosh! Someone said 'even if they were a serial killer or rapist'. No way! How could I love a monster? They could be capable of harming me!

Think of Scott Peterson....his (stupid) mother stood by him the whole trial. He threw his wife's body in San Francisco Bay. A very big part of her is still out there. And her grandchild.

Would be like loving Hitler....

********************************************************

@LilacTree-Does this daughter mourn you? Do you think she dreams of you?

Or can she go on her daily life and not give you a second thought.

I would just stick with the sweet daughters. You did your part, you did nothing wrong. You didn't *choose* a daughter, you stuck with the one that was thrown under a bus. What loving mother wouldn't?

@Lucky Charm

Thank you so much Lucky Charm. I honestly don't know the answer to your first question. She has indicated to the one sister she talks to (the one I live with) that she would like to be part of the family again. She has also said she's perfectly fine with her present life. She wants an apology from us.

I sent her an email last week and have not heard back. I probably didn't say what she wants to hear and that is that she did nothing wrong. I didn't bring up the issue in any way in the email. I did tell her I love her, and I do.

I do want to say here that, yes, this keeps on coming up in my life because it's not something that's ever "over." It's a factor every day, every birthday, every holiday, every crisis . . . it's always there. Like a divorce, it's the death of a relationship. It's not an "oh well, go read a book or get a hobby."

Thank you for your understanding and kind words.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@Lucky Charm wrote:
OMGosh! Someone said 'even if they were a serial killer or rapist'. No way! How could I love a monster? They could be capable of harming me!

Think of Scott Peterson....his (stupid) mother stood by him the whole trial. He threw his wife's body in San Francisco Bay. A very big part of her is still out there. And her grandchild.

Would be like loving Hitler....

********************************************************

@LilacTree-Does this daughter mourn you? Do you think she dreams of you?

Or can she go on her daily life and not give you a second thought.

I would just stick with the sweet daughters. You did your part, you did nothing wrong. You didn't *choose* a daughter, you stuck with the one that was thrown under a bus. What loving mother wouldn't?

@Lucky CharmYou must know/understand more about the issue than the rest of us. IIRC the estranged daughter co-owned a property with a favored daughter who sold said property against the wishes of the estranged daughter. IF that is the correct scenario, who was thrown under the bus?

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Keepin' it real.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

@esmerelda wrote:
@Lucky Charm wrote:
OMGosh! Someone said 'even if they were a serial killer or rapist'. No way! How could I love a monster? They could be capable of harming me!

Think of Scott Peterson....his (stupid) mother stood by him the whole trial. He threw his wife's body in San Francisco Bay. A very big part of her is still out there. And her grandchild.

Would be like loving Hitler....

********************************************************

@LilacTree-Does this daughter mourn you? Do you think she dreams of you?

Or can she go on her daily life and not give you a second thought.

I would just stick with the sweet daughters. You did your part, you did nothing wrong. You didn't *choose* a daughter, you stuck with the one that was thrown under a bus. What loving mother wouldn't?
@Lucky CharmYou must know/understand more about the issue than the rest of us. IIRC the estranged daughter co-owned a property with a favored daughter who sold said property against the wishes of the estranged daughter. IF that is the correct scenario, who was thrown under the bus?

How does one sell co-owned property against the wishes of a co-owner unless it was done fraudulently or the unwilling co-owner was tied to a chair with a pen tied to their hand and told sign the papers?