Would you love your child . . . - Page 11

Imadickens · ‎06-15-2016

@lOVETOSHOP wrote:
I know I would always love my child, no matter what. As others have said, I may not LIKE things they did that I didn't approve of, but I would always love them.
This is a little off topic, but this resonates with me in my relationship with my father. He hasn't been in my life or my children's lives for over 30 years. My boys don't even know him as their grandfather. He never calls, never keeps in contact. It brought me to tears when I was younger (in my twenties) but I've gotten so used to the situation and have learned with age that "it is what it is" and have accepted it.
However, I know that I still do love him. My husband doesn't understand it...but I will always know him as my father. I really hate his behaviour over all this time, but yet I do love him. He was a good father when I was growing up...we became estranged after the death of my mother when I was 21. I guess I'll always remember him the way he was and not the way he is.

I understand about your dad. I was an only child. We moved every two years until I was ten. My father thought he gave me everything I wanted, but he was wrong. Yes, he bought me things but he was just a father, I wanted a daddy. He was an alcoholic who mentally abused my mother and me. I think there were issues caused by his family that went with them to their graves, but my mother and I stood with him even when the hurt was beyond bearable. I still wrestle with the fact that sometimes I love him. He doesn't deserve it, but he is my bio dad! So, although he's not my child, I have those issues.

Never underestimate the power of kindness.

Imadickens · ‎06-15-2016

@GSPgirl wrote:
Yes! My daughter put me through the wringer from age 13 to her early 20's. I never gave up on her and we are very close now. I didn't like her at times, but I have always loved her.

My dd went from 12-36 before we got close again! Even now, I walk on eggshells! But, there are extenuating circumstances for her.

Never underestimate the power of kindness.

Imadickens · ‎06-15-2016

@LilacTree How did you get drawn into the fight between the two? I thought it involved one stealing the others husband. Am I right that it's due to dd selling house out from under another? I get how wrong it is, but I don't see why you are in it at all? No dd should force you to chose sides to begin with. Hasn't it been long enough to be over for them? Excuse my frankness, but it's time they both grow up and do what's best for you! Then, years from now, when you are gone, if they wish to pick up the feud again, who cares?

Never underestimate the power of kindness.

tuscaloosa · ‎03-23-2010

I don't know. I can see where a person could become numb if a child ignored their parent for 15 years, seldom taking phone calls, basically treating the parent with no respect. I am talking about a very loving parent, no physical or emotional abuse. People generally sense when a person does not care much about them, just going through the motions.

Melania · ‎06-12-2013

@Imadickens wrote:
@LilacTree How did you get drawn into the fight between the two? I thought it involved one stealing the others husband. Am I right that it's due to dd selling house out from under another? I get how wrong it is, but I don't see why you are in it at all? No dd should force you to chose sides to begin with. Hasn't it been long enough to be over for them? Excuse my frankness, but it's time they both grow up and do what's best for you! Then, years from now, when you are gone, if they wish to pick up the feud again, who cares?

She took a side. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

The fact that she has to question loving a child in this situation says it all. SMH

mom2laxboyz · ‎03-18-2010

When I first read this question, I immediately thought of that old movie, "The Bad Seed." Remember that, where the little girl wanted a trophy or something and pushed a boy into the lake and he drowned? Well, I would love my child no matter what, but I can see how some parents of children disconnect from them, if they do something ... well, let's just say "horrible" to another human being or animal, right?

pggoody · ‎10-09-2010

Will always love. But may not like at times.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

@LilacTree wrote:
@alicedee wrote:
@Lucky Charm wrote:
Would you do that to your sister? Your brother? Your parent.

Just because you could?

Just answer Yes or No.

I wouldn't.

I believe Lilac has told her daughter over and over that she loves her. If those are the last words spoken then that's that.

I can't wait to see your answers. Whether you would do this to your sister.

That's all I'm going to say on this thread.

We don't know the circumstances. There are a multitude of possible scenarios. Estranged daughter helps out sister, who made a series of bad choices and gives her a temporary place to live??? Estranged daughter buys a place with living arrangements for two families, and tells sister she can stay, but at some point she will probably be selling??? Estranged daughter wasn't getting any financial remuneration from the other sister that they had agreed upon??? We just don't know the circumstances, so how can we judge estranged sister???

I'm simply saying that when you are near the end of your life, you have to let go of past hurts whenever possible, mend broken fences, and find some peace. That's the way to end the journey, not with a bunch of hard feelings over money.
@alicedee
All I'm going to say is all scenarios are wrong. I am NOT going to explain any further and leave myself wide open for more nasty criticism. I asked a simple question. I did not ask for my entire history to be debated yet once again.

@magicmoodz
I appreciate your kind post.

Except that this is at least the 5th or more iteraton of this same question/scenario (complete with I can't tell you the details, I just want to know how to reconcile with my daughter, but I can't because it will devestate my other daughter) over the last couple of years I've been on the boards.

It's very telling that you say your therapist said she can't help you.

I am not unsympathetic to your situation, but you have clearly made your decision. The only problem is you don't like how your daughters reactions. You can't make them react the way you want. And we can't either.

I would suggest that since the current situation is making you so unhappy that you try something different. But others have done that and you have rejected the idea. Again, I am sorry you are going through this.

hsawaknow · ‎03-15-2011

I love my son with all my heart, good or bad

Sleep sweet Bo 3/19/08 8/4/18

ScarletDove · ‎07-11-2010

@LilacTree wrote:
. . . no matter what he/she did?

@LilacTree without going into any detail or explanation, for me love is a 2-way street, when one shows lack or disrespect of love that makes it a 1-way street; it does not work or sustain and evolved to estrangement......