Mom to Mom

[esmerelda]

@silentgirl  WOW!  Beautifully said!

[silentgirl]

Thank you @esmerelda very much

[TaylorBrown]

Absolutely!!!!  I will always love my children.

[Imadickens]

Yes, no matter what!

[Imadickens]

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@nana59 wrote:

Does this question involve a crime.....

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@nana59

No.  Nor drugs or physical abuse or anything like that.

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No matter what happened, I hope you work very hard to mend fences! Every child (birth to 105) need to know unconditional love. You don't have to like the deed but hopefully enough time has passed that you can let it go and be close again. Talking from experience, its more important to have the relationship than to prove your actions were warranted, no matter what you did, or didn't do! Trust me. Time goes too quickly to waste time being right. Being right doesn't kiss you or say, "I love you mom." Likewise, she needs to know she can come to you at any age for any reason and not fear losing your love. Imagine how that would feel! I hope all goes well for you both!

[Imadickens]

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@gracie2014 wrote:

@LilacTree Dealing with a situation with a niece I helped to raise, she has done some pretty nasty things as has her mom..I love her but can't wait for her to leave my home...don't like the person she has become...but love her...she and her mom recently did something bordering in illegal..won't know until the investigation is over...but she must leave..moved in with two young children, a cat and a mastiff puppy the size of a small pony..no asking..just moved in until her home sells...does not want to work..spends child support money on ; eyebrow threading, hair, nails, new clothes and shoes every weekend..I am over it..have I said that enough..over it.

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Loving someone doesn't mean letting them take advantage of you. In fact, there are times when it's harder to love someone the right way than to sit back and watch them hurt themselves. Difference here and OP is time has gone by for OP.

[Imadickens]

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@tansy wrote:

Lilac, are you still seeing a therapist?  If so, can you share a little of her comments on this situation?

I love both of my children, but as adults if one of them seriously harmed the other in some manner, I would cut off that child until he made it right with his sibling.

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That is a hard issue! Although I feel the same way, I'm not sure what would ever happen if that time ever came (God, I hope it never does!).

[Imadickens]

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@gracie2014 wrote:

@LilacTree Dealing with a situation with a niece I helped to raise, she has done some pretty nasty things as has her mom..I love her but can't wait for her to leave my home...don't like the person she has become...but love her...she and her mom recently did something bordering in illegal..won't know until the investigation is over...but she must leave..moved in with two young children, a cat and a mastiff puppy the size of a small pony..no asking..just moved in until her home sells...does not want to work..spends child support money on ; eyebrow threading, hair, nails, new clothes and shoes every weekend..I am over it..have I said that enough..over it.

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@gracie2014

That's a lot to put up with.  Is her mom your sister or your husband's relative? 

My situation is nothing like this.  I did write about it years ago when it was going on and don't want to bring it up again . . . not trying to be mysterious, just wanting to know how most of you would feel after an estrangement caused by one daughter who did something really hateful to another daughter that split my family permanently.

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Please remember, only death is forever! Perhaps, after all this time and with proper therapeutic direction, your family might be whole again?

[Imadickens]

@LilacTree If the injured daughter is a mother herself, she would understand that you can't leave this world without making both girls know how you love them. I can imagine the issue. After this time, surely the deepest of hurt is over. If the injured daughter loves you, she needs to understand why you still love them both. Is there anyone who can talk to injured daughter for you and explain how you feel? Often, a different party can make tedious things more clear than one who is closely involved.Explain that this doesn't mean you approve of what she did. If this is not possible, write letters to both girls to be distributed after you die. Be very careful how you word them, tho. You won't be able to correct any misunderstanding in them., God bless you and good luck!

[Imadickens]

@gracie2014 I've felt like that before! I'll share it with you if you find one! (I'm low maintenance and I don't talk much!)