Mom to Mom

[GCR18]

I wouldn't invite her to a mother's day gathering since you've never met her and she wouldn't know anyone.  If the couple were to get engaged, perhaps you could have a small gathering.

[sktchy]

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@jaxs mom wrote:

Is your son and his GF going to be at your house for Mother's Day? If so I'd ask her how she feels about you inviting her mother. 

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My Son will be over for Mother's Day - but the GF and her Mom both have jobs that require they work the occassional week end.

The GF is checking with her Mom to see if she wants to come down to my place.  

I have a lot of dirt on my Ex - and to add to the mix - he had a horrendous background (it came out while we where separated - and explained a lot of his behaviors). My ex-Husband and the GF's Family all live in the same  area - so they are very familiar with each other.

I feel odd because my Son and his GF have been together for an extended amount of time and I really don't know much about them except what my Son has told me - and the Dad in particular acts nasty towards my Son.  

[sktchy]

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@GCR18 wrote:

I wouldn't invite her to a mother's day gathering since you've never met her and she wouldn't know anyone.  If the couple were to get engaged, perhaps you could have a small gathering.

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They aren't engaged - yet ... I did meet the Mom briefly - but it was a very busy function and we / I did not have the time to speak with her except for a brief introduction.

My friends are very friendly - and they know a lot of people and have varied interests.   I have several get togethers every year and everyone leaves hoping to see each other again.  

I am not worried about the Mom NOT meeting a new friend OR running into someone she already knows.  

[millieshops]

@RedTopNo way is that weird in my book.   I wouldn't want to be a non-family guest at an intimate family gathering and I also would not put someone else into that possible discomfort.  To me that just feels sensible.

In this particular situation, where the whole purpose of inviting the GF's mother would seem to be getting to know her, how would that happen during a family get together for some other purpose?

[ROMARY]

I don't fully understand the situation; however, if you do invite your son's girlfriend and her mom, I wouldn't mention anything bad about your ex.  Just avoid starting that subject.  Being that they know and live near him, etc., etc.

[sktchy]

I have always had relationships where the Families knew each other after a year.

Cook-outs, Holidays - the Families where a least acquainted with each other.  

Different strokes for different folks ....

[sktchy]

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@ROMARY wrote:

I don't fully understand the situation; however, if you do invite your son's girlfriend and her mom, I wouldn't mention anything bad about your ex.  Just avoid starting that subject.  Being that they know and live near him, etc., etc.

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oh mercy - NO - the GF's Family knows everything.  My ex-Husband made his personal business very public.

It worked out for me - but her Family knows how my ex is.

[reiki604]

I am sooooooo confused. Unless your ex is going to be there ( and I hope he isn't), what's the issue? He's history and your children are the future.

[Annabellethecat66]

I glanced over the OP's post.  I'd say go ahead and invite whomever you want but it sounds like you might be having some fireworks.....if someone gets upset based on their history.

[ECBG]

Personally, I'd have a cookout. A get together, not Mother's Day which some spend traditionally. Hamburgers, slaw, potato salad, baked or green beans and a mixture of fresh fruit. Dessert, maybe homemade ice cream, or brownies and ice cream or something easy. It's relaxed, the burgers are cooking, and providing a subject for conversation!  People are helping and they're not in the living room facing eachother.