Mom to Mom

[Flatbush]

I think there is no simple solution. If it were me, I would just let it go and if people  ask me about not receiving a Thank You card, I'd tell them the truth. I feel your disappointment.

[Financialgrl]

Those saying to write the TY notes yourself and send out - NO WAY!  Doing so means you are rewarding their lack of manners and once you start, do you intend to always cover for them or do you expect to do this for any party/affair thrown for them??? 

Sorry, but it takes so little time to write one and if I, as just a friend, was invited to any other party/affair for the couple I'd not go and I'd not send a gift.  

[Trinity11]

Stay out of it. She is an adult. Your relationship will suffer if you push it.

[bridal_diva]

I understand the dilemma you are in, but it isn't a situation you can force without resentment forming. ( maybe if they had their phone numbers, they could text them ( LOL)

That seems to be an acceptable method of communication anymore that replaces the "personal touch" we all grew up with.

There must be a grace period that is acceptable before a Thank you is way overdue. For a wedding gift I think it is 6 weeks.

[Anonymous032819]

I'm probably in the minority here, but if I give a gift, I don't need a hand written thank-you.  

I'll take a "thank-you" in person, text, heck, even on FB.

And if they don't thank me at all?

I'm not going to get mad over it.

Life goes on.

When I get gifts, I always thank the giver.

Oh, and I'm a Gen-X'er.

[homedecor1]

@nelliegirl 

Yikes!  If you want a good MIL & grandparent experience then IMO let them do the ty notes & stop reminding them.  I offer this advice as my DIL is not one who cares to do ty notes, bday cards, OR any other "expected" thing I think is important!  

My gd is 8 and she's teaching her the same "inept social skills" ☹️her explanation is she never did this & certainly not going to start now! a verbal ty is fine.  Yes it is for someone brought up by "wolves😉 but not my kids or family! No ty call or note then return or don't use gift!

My niece & hubby are expecting in August.  They already have the  cbirth announcement cards on hold til baby born.  after 1 week theyRe hosting a 'meet the baby ' gathering for those and family to meet this precious bundle of boy joy.  Atthattime she lans to enclose on reverse side of invite & in person "thank you" .

Its a big different world today. society and younger ones do what fuels their egos not mimd/grandmom s.  I'd let it go ! 

[SuziQ2]

My nephew ( which I have never met ) married a couple of years ago.  I had not been well for some time, and it took going out 3 times to fine a nice gift that all co-ordinated.  I never received a thank you from the couple.  I didn't know them, and they didn't know me, but I was upset about it.  Finally, I received a thank you from my sister in law for them.  I felt that was really tacky that the kids could not thank us.  The gift wasn't for my husband's sister anyway.  They had a baby around last Christmas, butweI did not receive a baby announccement at all, so no gift.  I was rather happy about that, as I had decided to not

send them gifts ( they live a few states away) if they would not thank us for it.

These kids need to learn to be thankful and send a card to say so.

[SuziQ2]

I should add that when my  husband's boss' daughter married, we gave them a nice gift.

We never heard anything at all.  Finally, around their one year anniversary, we got a thank you.  I think she got confused.  We have an etiquette book that states you have up to one year to give a wedding gift, not one year to say thank you.  I felt it was really rude.  When

we married 46 years ago this month, we moved 1800 miles away from home, and I wrote

the thank you notes on our trip.  When we had our 5 children, the thank you notes were all written within a week and sent.  I was taught that as a child.  We could not play with our Christmas gifts the day after Christmas until our thank you notes were written.  We did get to play on Christmas day.....but it did teach us good manners, and it did keep the

family and relatives happy to give as they were thanked right away!

[Warrior2022]

Aren't showers held before the baby is born?  I had my Thank you cards out before he was even born.

I went to a baby shower about 13 years ago and addressed my own envelope and still haven't received a thank you.  I still chuckle inside when I talk to the mom of the now 13 year old.

[SleepyTime]

I have to tell you I received a thank you card from a dear friend whose son had graduated. I sent the check to him and she wrote the thank you card. I didn't care for that at all but I let it go. When he graduated from college I didn't send anything. We are still friends. she has actually offended me few times but oh well.