Re: ? Text HAPPY MOTHERS DAY ?

homedecor1 · ‎03-09-2010

You are not alone! I had NBC Today Sunday in the background this morning & this was a topic of discussion that "text,FB, instagram, etc" have taken over a 1 minute call or card for Mothers Day or any special occasion for that matter.

I guess our society has become insensitive to our feelings! I know I'd never be able to get away with "texting" my mother (although she's passed 20+years) she demanded good manners & respect.

My kids did post on FB but did call me-they know better😉(I had long talk with them regarding my feelings 4 years ago when they "texted" me on my bday😳)

Did she wish you Happy Mothers Day yesterday? If so, perhaps she felt a text was OK.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@poppinfresh I got a text first thing in the morning and a call from my son later,I was thinking about it though and their thing is texting.When it's my sons birthday he tells me he got a bunch of texts from his friends...he doesn't get calls so I guess that's the new way it's done,We have to let them know that we still need to hear their voice as we are old fashioned.

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

@TX-starlight wrote:
Oh MY! I needed this post today & I apologize for this LONG rant (setting the scene)....I am only child, & my mom passed away last yr, This is my 2nd MD with her. My DIL-(stepmother to MY g-kids) & I had a slight disagreement this wk.(about what all I do for g-kids, with no respect or tks for doing it). She had already invited me to her family "get together" for today. Of course, IF I wanted to see my son, I would have to go. I was also with them last night & she seemed fine & very pleasant to me. Today, we had a nice lunch at a country club (not my style), but I went. They picked me up & handed me a card when I got in the car. My son had signed it, no names from kids or hers. THEN she had gifts for HER mom & g-mother in the car. When they opened the gifts, she had signed her name, my son & the kids names. Then we had sporting even after lunch & a visit to their house. My g-kids bring her a card to the game, which she did not even attend today. They did not bring me a card, or say a word to me. Mind y'all, this DIL works, but does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in the house, no cooking, no cleaning & VERY little for the kids. I feel like I am on call 24/7 for those kids. I am running them here & there for something several days a wk. I am HURT, but also mad at myself for keeping on doing things I am not appreciated for. She stops at her family's home on the way home from work & gets home about an hr before bedtime. This is what started our disagreement. I mentioned they both need to spend more time with the kids, instead of getting home at bedtime. I am still furious over the whole mess. I have probably imagined, in my head, it to be worse that it really is. Evidently she did not tell my son, or he would have mentioned to today, as we were alone part of the day. I TRY to bite my tongue, to prevent a huge family blow up, but my tongue is almost gone,lol... Rant over.

I'm not sure I really understand the relationships here, but based on my understanding, your DIL sounds to be at least a bit of a piece of work. It also sounds like your expectations and hers don't at all mesh... That said, I'd also question whether your son is able to speak up or to act on his own... At the end of the day, you're his mother and they're his children too... He gave you a card, which I'd appreciate, but he might have either made a point of getting you a present himself or of ensuring you were fully included in the gifting and in their plans.

Sorry the day was a disappointment for you...

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

Well I was feeling kind of blue today until I hear that some of you have had a 'worse' day than I have.

My son works into the early morning hours, but texted last night he'd be home 'early' for him, and would I like to go out today for a meal. I said yes and we'd finalize the time and place today.

He arrived home at about 6 am instead of the 2 am I expected him, went to sleep and slept till well after noon. I simply decided I would mow the yard, clean house etc. as it was too nice a day to sit and do nothing.

He was raised to remember and recognize all holidays. I even mentioned to him a week ago that I expected him to remember his grandma today, with at least a card (for cripes sake, they are fifty cents at the Dollar Tree) as she and I really cherish a card from a loved one (and we save them too).

Well he had no card or gift for either of us (the gift isn't important, but it would have been nice), sleeps half the day, and I expect a bad mood from him and me when he gets up.

The afternoon and evening turned out better than I expected. We did go out to dinner and had a nice time (nothing fancy). Came home and there was plenty of daylight left, so he offered to wash,dry, and clean out his grandma's car and mine (in the driveway, and a nice good wash too). This is a big deal for us. My mom can't wash a car anymore (81 years old, and hurts her back to do it), and I'm the one that has to do it. I usually have to do her car and mine. So him offering to do this was really a big help. He also went up to his grandma's and visited with her for an hour or so (she lives next door) and invited her to go out to dinner with us (she declined as she was into a lot of outdoor work and didn't want to stop).

I have told him that on my birthday and Mother's Day, I'd like some help here with mulching the beds, cutting down trees and removing the debris (we are in the process of taking down about 40 dead trees, and it is taking several years to do it ourselves) and other big chores, and that is a true gift to me, to have help with things like this.

I even got three hugs today, which at 20 years old, I don't get many of lately (boy I miss him being 5!). So what I expected to be a not so nice day turned out better than it started.

For those that didn't get what they needed from the day, I am so sorry. I am experiencing that on many holidays now that my only child is growing up and moving on. I'm having trouble getting used to not having him and his undivided attention and participation on all holidays. It makes me incredibly sad, but I realize this is a new phase of life for both of us.It's just going to take me longer than most to come to grips with it all.

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

Sorry for those who were disappointed today by the lack of acknowledgement from loved ones, especially those whose loved ones really are old enough to know better... Hope there are happier Mother's Days ahead...

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@Mominohio It sounds like your son really loves you and his grandma.The gift of time far exceeds any gift or card.Those items are easy to purchase but time is priceless.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@stevieb wrote:
@TX-starlight wrote:
Oh MY! I needed this post today & I apologize for this LONG rant (setting the scene)....I am only child, & my mom passed away last yr, This is my 2nd MD with her. My DIL-(stepmother to MY g-kids) & I had a slight disagreement this wk.(about what all I do for g-kids, with no respect or tks for doing it). She had already invited me to her family "get together" for today. Of course, IF I wanted to see my son, I would have to go. I was also with them last night & she seemed fine & very pleasant to me. Today, we had a nice lunch at a country club (not my style), but I went. They picked me up & handed me a card when I got in the car. My son had signed it, no names from kids or hers. THEN she had gifts for HER mom & g-mother in the car. When they opened the gifts, she had signed her name, my son & the kids names. Then we had sporting even after lunch & a visit to their house. My g-kids bring her a card to the game, which she did not even attend today. They did not bring me a card, or say a word to me. Mind y'all, this DIL works, but does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in the house, no cooking, no cleaning & VERY little for the kids. I feel like I am on call 24/7 for those kids. I am running them here & there for something several days a wk. I am HURT, but also mad at myself for keeping on doing things I am not appreciated for. She stops at her family's home on the way home from work & gets home about an hr before bedtime. This is what started our disagreement. I mentioned they both need to spend more time with the kids, instead of getting home at bedtime. I am still furious over the whole mess. I have probably imagined, in my head, it to be worse that it really is. Evidently she did not tell my son, or he would have mentioned to today, as we were alone part of the day. I TRY to bite my tongue, to prevent a huge family blow up, but my tongue is almost gone,lol... Rant over.
I'm not sure I really understand the relationships here, but based on my understanding, your DIL sounds to be at least a bit of a piece of work. It also sounds like your expectations and hers don't at all mesh... That said, I'd also question whether your son is able to speak up or to act on his own... At the end of the day, you're his mother and their his children too... He gave you a card, which I'd appreciate, but it he might have either made a point of getting you a present himself or of ensuring you were fully included in the gifting and in their plans.

Sorry the day was a disappointment for you...

There is no love lost between my sister in law and my mother, and many holidays she has gifts for her mom and cards from her kids (when they were little) signed and pictures drawn in them etc., but nothing for my mother.

She feels that she takes care of her family, and my brother should be remembering his own mother (do his own shopping, planning etc.), especially on Mother's Day. He doesn't usually send a card or a gift, and rarely calls on the exact day (usually a day before).It is very hurtful, but having to hound/beg someone to remember/recognize/honor your special day, makes it not so special anymore.

Funny thing is, most of these 'kids' were raised differently, and none of us are expecting diamonds and furs, but their presence, a nice card with a well thought out and personal note, a phone call or a visit is not expecting too much when you consider all a parent gives to a child.

I really don't understand why they do this.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

My mom and only child are deceased so Mother's Day at my house was nothing. I'd rather have it that way than be treated so deplorably. It's hard to believe the children of such lovely women are so lazy and thoughtless. I'm sorry for you. Maybe you're too nice and generous.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

Snowpuppy · ‎03-09-2010

There are many, many posters that go on and on how just about any holiday or a day for remembrace is "not worth their trouble and it's such a bother"...... Maybe this is where it begins?

I once got a txt on Mother's Day from my BFF. I was stunned at how cold that was. So I texted back, HMD to you too! She was peeved that I didn't call!

My DS is a millenial and has started to shun all holidays. At first I hit the roof, then I said fine, I'll do my own thing. No worries. This year I said nothing about Mother's Day. He called last weekend and invited me to his place and out to lunch. He even gassed up my vehicle before I headed home!

beach-mom · ‎03-09-2010

I guess I'm the lucky one. DH and DD took me out to a surprise brunch after church, and on the way home DS called from college.

@TX-starlight - IMO there is no excuse for the way you're being treated! Your DIL is not thinking of you, and she doesn't sound like a very nice person. How rude to hand out gifts to her family and leave you out! I used to get angry when my cousins would have a big cookout for Father's Day, inviting their moms and dads, but not inviting my aunt and uncle, who lived right there, but had no children. They were hurt, and my mom was not happy about it. If I had lived near them, I would have included my aunt and uncle in everything. I get really upset when people are not included!

The fact that your son gave you a card with only HIS name on it, and your grandchildren didn't even make a card for you? That is being very inconsiderate. I'm not a grandmother, or a mother-in-law, so I can only imagine if you rock the boat you may lose seeing them at all, but it sounds like you do a lot for them. I think I would start being busy when they need something, and I would talk to my son about it.

I don't like seeing nice people treated like this. Your son should wake up and see the way his mother is being treated!