Mom to Mom

[sktchy]

On Monday a toxic friends 50 year old Son died.  Five months ago he was found unconcious and foaming at the mouth.  After 24 hours - and his Son flying in from the West Coast - he made a miraculous recovery.

This event was blamed on sleep apnea.  However this man does a history of pill abuse and was in recovery a few years ago.  His ex-wife/roommmate lives wi

th him.  Her Muslim Husband died 3 years - he 'died in his sleep'.  He also had a problem with pills.

So now - at the same residence which claimed the life two men - we are wondering if the Medical Examiner will look further into these deaths.

In the meantime - I WAS friends/confident of the Mom of the man who died.  I say WAS because the relationship became toxic.  

Now that the Son has passed - I feel like I should call her - but I do not want to resume a relationship with her.  I feel so bad - and I feel like I abandoned her ... we where very close but I 'ghosted' her - NOW THIS.

[sienna123]

No need to engage in conversation with her, send a sympathty card and she will know you are thinking about her.  If she calls you don't have to answer.

[esmerelda]

Let's see...you say she's toxic.

You didn't say anything nice about the son.

If you "abandoned" her you had a reason.

You don't want to resume a relationship with her.

What do YOU think you should do? 

[3cupcakes]

Stepping away from someone who is toxic is not abandoning them.  It's self-preservation.

[sktchy]

I will get her a card and some flowers when she returns to her job - which is the receptionist where I live.

She and her Son where very very close.  I am close with my Son too, but not to the extent she depended on her Son.  

Tonight  I went to meet another neighbor in the Lobby where I live and she was on the phone with my close girlfriend/neighbor I was going to dinner with. She asked the neighbor if anyone else was standing around .... and my fellow diner said NO.  

I just take myself back to the vapid life-sucking moments with her and I feel better.  Card, plant and a wave when she is working.

I lost a best friend/ex husband (yep) and it took the life out of me.   I cannot imagine her grief ... but then I just need to think back ...

[nana59]

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@sktchy wrote:

I will get her a card and some flowers when she returns to her job - which is the receptionist where I live.

She and her Son where very very close.  I am close with my Son too, but not to the extent she depended on her Son.  

Tonight  I went to meet another neighbor in the Lobby where I live and she was on the phone with my close girlfriend/neighbor I was going to dinner with. She asked the neighbor if anyone else was standing around .... and my fellow diner said NO.  

I just take myself back to the vapid life-sucking moments with her and I feel better.  Card, plant and a wave when she is working.

I lost a best friend/ex husband (yep) and it took the life out of me.   I cannot imagine her grief ... but then I just need to think back ...

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Just the card.....more than that would be sending her the wrong message.....

[sktchy]

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@nana59 wrote:

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@sktchy wrote:

I will get her a card and some flowers when she returns to her job - which is the receptionist where I live.

She and her Son where very very close.  I am close with my Son too, but not to the extent she depended on her Son.  

Tonight  I went to meet another neighbor in the Lobby where I live and she was on the phone with my close girlfriend/neighbor I was going to dinner with. She asked the neighbor if anyone else was standing around .... and my fellow diner said NO.  

I just take myself back to the vapid life-sucking moments with her and I feel better.  Card, plant and a wave when she is working.

I lost a best friend/ex husband (yep) and it took the life out of me.   I cannot imagine her grief ... but then I just need to think back ...

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Just the card.....more than that would be sending her the wrong message.....

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True/I agree - I just want her to return to being the receptionist and I will just be a resident.  

[fortune]

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@sktchy wrote:

On Monday a toxic friends 50 year old Son died.  Five months ago he was found unconcious and foaming at the mouth.  After 24 hours - and his Son flying in from the West Coast - he made a miraculous recovery.

This event was blamed on sleep apnea.  However this man does a history of pill abuse and was in recovery a few years ago.  His ex-wife/roommmate lives wi

th him.  Her Muslim Husband died 3 years - he 'died in his sleep'.  He also had a problem with pills.

So now - at the same residence which claimed the life two men - we are wondering if the Medical Examiner will look further into these deaths.

In the meantime - I WAS friends/confident of the Mom of the man who died.  I say WAS because the relationship became toxic.  

Now that the Son has passed - I feel like I should call her - but I do not want to resume a relationship with her.  I feel so bad - and I feel like I abandoned her ... we where very close but I 'ghosted' her - NOW THIS.

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My son died unexpectedly at age 15.  I appreciated all the lovely cards I got during this sad time.  I didn't have any expectations of those who sent them either.  I was too busy grieving.  Send a card. 

[NC Bandwagon]

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@fortune wrote:

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@sktchy wrote:

On Monday a toxic friends 50 year old Son died.  Five months ago he was found unconcious and foaming at the mouth.  After 24 hours - and his Son flying in from the West Coast - he made a miraculous recovery.

This event was blamed on sleep apnea.  However this man does a history of pill abuse and was in recovery a few years ago.  His ex-wife/roommmate lives wi

th him.  Her Muslim Husband died 3 years - he 'died in his sleep'.  He also had a problem with pills.

So now - at the same residence which claimed the life two men - we are wondering if the Medical Examiner will look further into these deaths.

In the meantime - I WAS friends/confident of the Mom of the man who died.  I say WAS because the relationship became toxic.  

Now that the Son has passed - I feel like I should call her - but I do not want to resume a relationship with her.  I feel so bad - and I feel like I abandoned her ... we where very close but I 'ghosted' her - NOW THIS.

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My son died unexpectedly at age 15.  I appreciated all the lovely cards I got during this sad time.  I didn't have any expectations of those who sent them either.  I was too busy grieving.  Send a card. 

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I'm sorry about the loss of your son, fortune.