Sad that this starts at 5 yrs old...... - Page 5

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

I'm torn here. Of course I feel bad about any child getting his or her feelings hurt. But don't we all remember what it was like growing up? Children have very little in the way of filters. Children also form groups (cliques) and gang up on one another. It's a rite of passage.

I don't know anymore. The term has become so ubiquitous that I'm not even sure what it means. But to use it in this context might be diluting its value a bit.

A child should not have to grow a backbone or not be wimp. That kind of parenting will surely backfire and either make a child feel that his feelings should be kept secret or turn a child into a bully himself.

A child should be assured of his worth and given positive tips on how to react or handle such situations. Of course, if a child is being bullied repeatedly by someone or someones, then stronger measures are in order.

And really, bullying is not just a children's problem. Unfortunately, we see it in adults as well.

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@willomenia wrote:
really people! kids make fun of mickey mouse sweatshirt, and now they are being bullied. this world really needs to grow a backbone.

I agree. There is a difference between bullying and kids just being brutally honest or excluding.

While hurting others feelings is never nice, this is where they need to begin to learn how to take other's criticisms and rejection, learn that their worth is not dependent on getting negative feedback (or positive feedback) from others, and be shown how to do/have/wear/love what you want, without regard to the fact that others have something negative to say about it.

It starts earlier all the time.

wvumountiefan · ‎09-12-2013

My son was always taller than his class mates and I also taught him to have empathy for people that are less fortunate. When he was in middle school, I worked at the school he attended. He never came to see me unless he was dying. That was just the rule, because I wanted him to be independent and not rely on the fact I worked there.

One day he came to my office and said he was sick and wanted to go home. We did. One of his teachers called and said that she over heard the kids talking and that a boy was picking on my son. Talk about a difficult situation. I had to be really careful how I addressed this as I knew he would be embarrassed if I made a big deal about it. He finally came to me and we talked about it. I'm going to tell you what I told him and some will probably disagree but that's okay, he's my child.

I instructed him that he needed to call this boy out. My son was never afraid of him but he just really didn't want to deal with it. I told him this, if he hits you I want you to lay into him. I want you to beat him until a teacher or someone physically pulls you off of him. I told him not to worry about getting in trouble, that was the least of my worries.

This boy said something a few days later in the hall and my son flew into him and it wasn't pretty. Needless to say, that ended him being picked on by this boy. IMO we need to teach and let our kids defend themselves.

I know this may not work in every situation but he never got picked on again. Remember A Christmas Story when the bully got roughed up?

Kids who become good adults usually didn't just turn out that way. Most of the time they were shown by their parents or someone who raised them. We need to do both with our kids. Teach them not to bully and teach them not to take someone's sh$t either!!

Marienkaefer2 · ‎03-09-2010

I don't know.

I remember being made fun of in school at various times.

Sometimes it was a play on my name (one that was easy to make a jingle about), other times it might have been something I was wearing.

I didn't like it, but I learned how to deal with negativity and get on with my life.

It also created a sense of empathy in me for others.

When I was in 7th grade, a girl I knew on the bus was pushed and her books knocked to the ground. She was considered a "geek" and was pestered quite a bit. I saw the whole thing. I went over to her, helped her pick up her books, and we became best friends.

I think we can teach kids to have confidence in themselves, and is the best protector for what they will confront in the world.

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero

Lynnster67 · ‎08-18-2015

Unfortunately, yes. Part of the reason public schools adopt dress codes is so less-fortunate kids don't get bullied for not wearing the latest fashion. Another reason is some of the girls start dressing like Britney Spears and the boys like rappers.

My aunt used to teach 1st grade. About 20 yrs ago, kids started saying stuff like "my mom is going to kick the [poop] out of you" etc. She decided that the school district didn't pay her nearly enough to put up w/that nonsense and put in her retirement papers. [BTW, this was in a rural county north of Baltimore, not an inner city situation.]

RoseGraham · ‎06-27-2017

Thats sad

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

You are so right. Lindsay had a cell phone when she was three years old. Sitting waiting in

@BlingQueen022 wrote:
@keba58 wrote:
I've worked in the school system 27 years and yes, sad to say , this is happening at all ages. Think back to our own childhood,( 60's -70's for me) it happened as well but not to this extent. Children will mimic what they have seen and they are seeing it at home. Older siblings possibly but most likely parents. These are the children whose parents come to school to rant and rave at the principal, teachers and even cafeteria workers. These parents, in front of their children-who now feel this is what is acceptable -scream expletives at school authority. This is a mid-income school, not poverty. I have seen a huge shift in the generations and it is scary.
@keba58 Oh my! How right you are. I wanted to say the same thing and I don't work in the school system. I'm very street smart and I do see a lot. Parents today just don't discipline their children like they did years ago when my parents had kids. Things were much different back then. You'll probably laugh at this, but I blame a lot of this on electronics. Kids today are spoiled. They have cell phones before they're teens, their parents rush out to buy the kid expensive cars when they get their license. These kids today don't work for anything. Everything is handled to them on a silver platter. I'll probalby get bashed for this and won't go on any further. This is my opinion and I'm entitled to it.

What you said here is so darn true. Have a fabulous Sunday.

rooms and every little child either has a cell phone or some kind of game that looks like a phone. Everybody is busy talking on cell phones or on the computer doing only God knows what. Do people even talk to one another anymore?

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

Bohemiangal, I read your long post and I can't tell you how sick it made me feel. I am so sorry for the pain your loved one suffered

@BohemianGal wrote:
@willomenia wrote:
really people! kids make fun of mickey mouse sweatshirt, and now they are being bullied. this world really needs to grow a backbone.
@willomenia...
With all due respect, you don't understand that this type of thing turns into more severe "bullying" down the line. These type of children start young with "teasing" and it progeress to other more serious bullying.

Please read my post in reply to the originator of this thread...It's long, but will explain WHY this isn't to be taken lightly.

Any parent of a child who has sufferd under the hands of "bullies" will see the picture here....
Respectfully, BohemianGal

because of a system that did nothing to prevent bullying. I don't particularly like being old and knowing I won't have many more years to live but I am grateful I grew up in the era when children were safe.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

Hooray for your son, I love it!!!! Wouldn't you just love to witness the surprised look on the face of the bully as they go down? I would.

@Q4u wrote:
When I was in Elementary School around 4th grade I was bullied and followed home from school by two boys who made fun of me... this happened several times. Why? Probably because it really bothered me and they could see it. Stopped only when they followed me to my house and my Dad was waiting for them (I told my parents about it)....

That started me toughening up.... but yes, it was around even back in the early 60's ...

Both my sons have been bullied. My oldest son was "challenged" by two seniors in high school (he was a freshman and looked like a big puppy walking along). He was also a black belt in Karate. Both bullies (who were trying to steal his backpack) were getting physical with him on a lonely horse trail outside the school. They were both knocked to the ground, one severe enough to require hospitalization with a concussion. My son notified the school immediately, they called the parametics. Both recovered and were permanenty suspended.... and my son then knew he could defend himself with enough strength to get away without severely permanently hurting someone.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

CHIP62 · ‎09-06-2014

@Nataliesgramma,

It is sad and yes children can be really cruel and mean.

I am not a psychiatrist and cannot tell you the ethiology of it but this is not new and now be even have the social networks for the older ones. Hopefully those in charge will minimize it. Zero tolerance for bullies and the sooner the intervention the better🌻