Sad that this starts at 5 yrs old...... - Page 4

Imadickens · ‎06-15-2016

@BohemianGal. I am so sorry for what you and your son have, and still are going through! I often think it's harder on the parents to see their child going through this! My dd went through this for no other reason than the teachers liked her! Fortunately, it was worst in 7 and 8 grade and got better in high school, tho not completely! I had a stomache knot every day when it was time for her to come home from school and tell me who did what to her that day! Only recently did I find out it left permanent pain to her ego!

As a retired teacher I have seen bullying at its worst! Unlike the teachers many of you have dealt with, I never looked away from a bully! I did whatever I could to stop it! That said, I must disagree with those who find this incident a blatant act of bullying. True, there is a chance it could be, but at that age it is far more likely an issue of a sensative child who was teased by others about his sweater, OR he may simply have overheard other kids talking about Micky or childish clothing and he may have internalized it. Whatever it is, the key is how the parents deal with this issue NOW! They must reinforce that what HE likes to wear is all that matters! They must tell him to boldly tell the other kids, ASAP , that if they don't like his shirt, it's ok, HE likes it, then change the subject! If the parents down play it, hopefully the child won't feel bullied!

Never underestimate the power of kindness.

BohemianGal · ‎03-29-2016

@Imadickens wrote:
@BohemianGal. I am so sorry for what you and your son have, and still are going through! I often think it's harder on the parents to see their child going through this! My dd went through this for no other reason than the teachers liked her! Fortunately, it was worst in 7 and 8 grade and got better in high school, tho not completely! I had a stomache knot every day when it was time for her to come home from school and tell me who did what to her that day! Only recently did I find out it left permanent pain to her ego!

As a retired teacher I have seen bullying at its worst! Unlike the teachers many of you have dealt with, I never looked away from a bully! I did whatever I could to stop it! That said, I must disagree with those who find this incident a blatant act of bullying. True, there is a chance it could be, but at that age it is far more likely an issue of a sensative child who was teased by others about his sweater, OR he may simply have overheard other kids talking about Micky or childish clothing and he may have internalized it. Whatever it is, the key is how the parents deal with this issue NOW! They must reinforce that what HE likes to wear is all that matters! They must tell him to boldly tell the other kids, ASAP , that if they don't like his shirt, it's ok, HE likes it, then change the subject! If the parents down play it, hopefully the child won't feel bullied!

Hi @Imadickens...
Thank you for your response. Like you said..it's hard to witness your children stuggle or be hurt by others, especially when we feel "powerless" and can't "fix it"....I'm glad the OP started this thread because many don't understand the long term effects "bullying" has on the victims or their families, and how devestating it can be.

My son still stuggles, but from his experince he did learn to have deep "compassion" for others.

When he was in college, he joined a fraternity in freshman year. In his senior year he was voted there was a freshman "pledging" the fraternity who was a bit "stange" in his appearance and personality. The majority of the "Brothers" (including the President and VP) were giving him a hard time and decided regardless of what he did (or didn't do), they weren't going to vote him in. This young man confided in my son that he had a bad childhood and family life and he suffered from depression, etc. (it was all VERY sad). He told him he was mainly pledging the fraternity to gain acceptance from his father, who was an alumni of that same fraterninty. Evidently, his father told him he would "never get in". He wanted to prove to him that he was "good enough" to make it. He said for once in his life he wanted to feel his father was "proud" of him. Long story short, over the course of 3 months, my son convinced a few other members to change their minds and give the guy "a break"...It was no easy task, but after the grueling "pledge period" , the young man made it into the fraternity by ONE vote!! When my son told us the results, he was so emotional, he had tears in his eyes. Needless to say, we were very proud of our son for helping this young man. It could very well have been a "turning point" in the young man's life....only God knows....

Love, Bohemian Gal

Imadickens · ‎06-15-2016

@BohemianGal. Thank God for good people like your son! My family also has suffered great traumas and I am proud to say we all have lived a life with great compassion for others! My only hope in life is that people like your and my families make enough of a difference to make a huge change in the world! Wouldn't that be a great legacy to our pain? God bless you and your son!

Never underestimate the power of kindness.

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

Yes, bullying does start with the adults. I remember as a child being constantly teased by 2 uncles. They teased me about my speech and weight so when I went to school and the kids were cruel, I thought that's just the way things worked. I didn't complain to my parents because they never defended me, I just swallowed it. My self esteem was so low, by the time I was a teen and came into my own, I didn't believe any one who would compliment me. I think it's wise to keep a close eye on your kids and listen when they complain.

Q4u · ‎03-17-2010

When I was in Elementary School around 4th grade I was bullied and followed home from school by two boys who made fun of me... this happened several times. Why? Probably because it really bothered me and they could see it. Stopped only when they followed me to my house and my Dad was waiting for them (I told my parents about it)....

That started me toughening up.... but yes, it was around even back in the early 60's ...

Both my sons have been bullied. My oldest son was "challenged" by two seniors in high school (he was a freshman and looked like a big puppy walking along). He was also a black belt in Karate. Both bullies (who were trying to steal his backpack) were getting physical with him on a lonely horse trail outside the school. They were both knocked to the ground, one severe enough to require hospitalization with a concussion. My son notified the school immediately, they called the parametics. Both recovered and were permanenty suspended.... and my son then knew he could defend himself with enough strength to get away without severely permanently hurting someone.

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*

BohemianGal · ‎03-29-2016

@Imadickens wrote:
@BohemianGal. Thank God for good people like your son! My family also has suffered great traumas and I am proud to say we all have lived a life with great compassion for others! My only hope in life is that people like your and my families make enough of a difference to make a huge change in the world! Wouldn't that be a great legacy to our pain? God bless you and your son!

@Imadickens I've learned over the years (56 now)..lol..that many times we learn the most important lessons through stuggles and pain that we experience in life. It seems you understand that "truth". May God bless you and your family as well...Love, Bohemian Gal....

sapphire 2 · ‎12-14-2011

I have seen this same behavior at my grandaughter's school.

Disney has three different tv stations on our cable, they are geared to different age groups. Mickey Mouse is on Disney Junior several times a day. This is for the "younger kids". If a younger child has an older sibling the sibling does not watch Disney Junior, but the Disney Channel. So the little one then thinks anyone who is still watching Mickey is a baby. It is sad that they have to grow up so fast.

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@Nataliesgramma wrote:
I was picking up my 4 yr old granddaughter from Preschool Friday and I am still bothered by what I saw.
A little boy from the Kindergarden class came out of his room and told his Mom " I don't want to wear my Mickey (Mickey Mouse) sweater to school anymore because the kids made fun of me". He had such a sad look on his face

Is this normal? Does bullying start this early?

@Nataliesgramma That is one of the saddest things I have read. I hope that wee one is not going to grow up trying to people please instead of just being himself.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh