Mom to Mom

[Gram W]

@henderson.  I have 4 wonderful grandsons.  3 came with their mothers and 1 is "my blood line ( putting it crudely)."   I love all of my grandsons very much.  My sons and I love those boys and feel blessed that they are part of our lives.  A stepgrandson and his wife have presented us with 2 little boys.  They are my great grandsons.  I am proud as I can be and love them without question.

Growing up about first grade we had neighbors who asked to be called our Grandparents.  When their girls got married they were blessed with "blood grandchildren".   They kept in touch with my parents many years to inquire about us as adults although we lived many states apart.

 For a brief time a young single mother lived with my husband and I to help her get on her feet.  Her son is now in his 30s and still calls me grandma and she calls me mom.   They all live hours from me but still keep in touch especially on Mother's Day and my birthday.

I guess I am trying to say that you also have a "step grandson".   Your son loves him and his mother and he has made them both part of your family.  Hopefully you still have the opportunity to have a loving relationship with this young man.   There is no such thing as to much love or 2 many grandparents for a child.  You missed this young man's early years but you, just like I did, can watch him grow into a man.   Given time you could be blessed to be a great grandmother.  Believe me it is a joy to see each new generation in your family and to see your son become a grandparent.  We each are blessed in different ways.  I chose to count my blessings every day.  As mothers we raised loving, giving sons thus we have much to be proud of.  We did a good job.   ;-)

[Gram W]

@Leu.   My eldest son never wanted children.  In his mid30s he married a woman with a 6 year old son.  Neither he nor his wife wanted more children.  Having that young man in the house worked wonders on both adults.  They eventually had a boy together.  He became a father at 40 and he loves those boys.   His stepson is a great young man out on his own and doing well.  

I never thought this son would ever have children because his feelings against it had been so strong.  I have no idea why he and his wife changed their mind but I am glad they did.   Life can be so strange and unpredictable.   Take one day at a time and make as many beautiful memories as possible with both of your son's.  

[labloverrr]

@Beautiful life I always wanted 6 kids, but ended up not having any.  I have 13 nieces & nephews so I always had them to do activities with (1 brother alone has 8 kids, i tell people he had my kids for me :-).  Definately didn't want a pregnancy after the age of 40.  When my menstrual cycle abruptly stopped at 47 years old, I was so happy!!!!  My gynocologist tried to force me to have a period, he gave me some pills that were supposed to force me to have one, mother nature laughed at them, my body couldn't even be forced to have one.  Funny thing is, I really don't miss not being a parent BUT I really miss that I won't be a grandma.  You definately are blessed that you have 2 children.

[Pook]

Except for the hot flashes it was a big  YES it's finally over!!!!

[Starpolisher]

@Beautiful life I can totally relate to your feelings. I too am blessed with two beautiful children, both grown. I wanted more children but simply could not afford anymore. My children are now 35 and 36. After menopause I felt really sad that I would no longer be able to have a baby. It's was also a very defining moment regarding my life cycle coming nearer to it's end. Sometimes, I still feel sad that I didn't have more children. And yes, at least for me, it has to do with seeing my babies all grown up. When my children were young, a woman I worked with, who had children of her own, said this to me "you're a good mother but you shouldn't have had any kids." When I asked her why she said "because you don't want to share them and when you have kids you have to share them with the rest of the world." As they got older I realized more and more what she meant and that she was right. I sometimes wish I still had at least a couple of teenagers or young adults still living here and coming in and out of the house.( When I say this to dh, he looksat me like I'm crazy...lol) To me the house is very empty and I just don't enjoy it the same as when I was nesting. I know it's just another season of my life and I cope with it. I have one beautiful grandchild. I love and see her often. While I'm loving being a grandma, it's not the same as having my own children. Some of us have a harder time moving on than others, especially if we've made our children our whole life. 

[hoosieroriginal]

Nope - hysterectomy at 30 and couldn't be happier! 

[cherry]

I always wished we could have had more children, but I was blessed with 2 ,while some can't have any, so I try to be grateful and  be glad for what I do have

[Beautiful life]

I am blessed to have my children. I wish I was closer to my older daughter, she still lives at home. I feel my daughter is uncaring at times and on the selfish side. My son is a mommy's boy and I love that. I know that will change in time.

I regret not trying hard enough to get pregnant again. Over the last several years we went through a very hard time. We were dealing with living out of our house for a year due to a  flood in our home... dealing with our insurance, had to hire a attorney, go to court and finally after three years it settled. My husband said it's not the right time to ttc if it happens it happens.... he didn't want to time anything like we did for several years.

so I was just hoping I would fall pregnant again. What if we did try harder.... always goes through my mind and makes me upset.

I wish my periods would end.... then in my mind I know it's completely over. My grandma had her last baby at 50.

Thank you for all the comments. I love my children so much. 

[Mz iMac]

@Beautiful life

"I wish my periods would end.... then in my mind I know it's completely over. My grandma had her last baby at 50."

There is still hope.  My 92 yr old mother is a menopause baby. 

My mother's 4 older siblings were all married w/children of their own when she was born.  There was a 30 yr gap between her & the 4th child.

Years ago, I went to a baby shower.  The shower was being held by the person's teenage grandchildren.  This person was 53 yrs old at the time & her husband had just retired!!!

[Stormygirl]

After my twins died I had to have hysterectomy. Was a very upsetting time and I think of the twins on their birthday still. No pain greater I can think of then the death of ones children. I guess what am saying is ...if one has healthy children no matter how many be forever grateful for that blessing. I can understand the empty nest feeling though. Hugs xoxoxoxox Stormy