Question About Graduation Party Situation - Page 2

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

I would absolutely bring a gift! The party is in the neice's honor. I never heard of not bringing a gift just because you don't know the honoree.

As a matter of fact, I never go to any party even a casual cook out empty handed.

Just bring a card with either cash or a gift card. Amazon cards are always handy.

Good for this young woman raising her sister's three children. I'm sure it has been difficult.

FancyPhillyshopper · ‎05-02-2017

I have been to quite a few high school graduation parties (mainly family), and I would never attend without a gift. Your friend is incorrect--gifts are expected whether you know the honoree or not--you can even send a gift if you do not go to the party (I have family across the country). The only time I do not bring a gift if it is specifically stated on an invitation, and then we still might bring flowers or wine.

Usually I give BOTH cash/check/gift card and something useful--such as a fancy backpack, or suitcase, etc. since in all cases students are heading off to higher education.

I will say that huge high school graduation parties are NOT really designed for adults--lots of young people milling about (one party had a water-filled balloon battle!!), food disappears quickly, etc., so go with the idea that you are supporting your friend and the love she has for her niece, not that it is a "party" in the formal adult sense.

I really do admire the sister for raising the children, which took a lot of dedication, money, and time.

Generosity to the family in this case would be very kind.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

It would be rude to go and not take a gift.

I have no idea where some people grew up, but they have no manners to think otherwise.

beach-mom · ‎03-09-2010

Thank you everyone for your advice! I will tell DD.

@OneHappyHiker - great advice about taking a small gift to her friend too!

I have met her and she's a really sweet woman. I never knew her situation until recently. Gone are the days when our home was filled with teenage girls giggling, watching movies, and eating. I knew most of them well! I miss those days!

She does have an SO, and I know he helps with the children, but it's been all her and according to DD she's done an amazing job.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

@beach-mom wrote:
DD asked my advice, and I thought I'd ask yours.

She has a single friend in her 30's. Her older sister was killed in a car accident and this lady was awarded full custody of her niece and 2 nephews, who were young at the time, when she was barely in her 20's. So she has raised them, and is still raising her nephews. .

Her niece is graduating from high school, and DD's friend has invited all of HER friends to a huge party she is giving. DD has met her friend's niece, but doesn't really know her.

She doesn't want to go without a gift. I agreed. One of MY friends said she doesn't have to take a gift if she doesn't really know the girl, because she is basically going to a party given by her friend.

I think it's really nice she invited DD and her other friends, and I think DD could take a card with a small cash gift inside.

What do you all think?

I agree. Be compassionate. Be kind. A card and some money is better than appropriate. Why it's even a question is beyond me.

Graduation is a huge deal for young people, especially given all the niece has been through.

hkrgrl · ‎03-13-2022

You are invited to a party/celebration etc to honor a person for a specific reason.

absolutely you bring a gift! no question, full stop.

i always give $$ b/c usually they need to buy a new computer. DD can ask if the niece needs one and DD can give an Apple gift card if she is buying a macbook.

much success going forward to this young girl!

Still Raining · ‎03-30-2014

I agree that a card and small gift is called for. It would add to the fun for the graduate.

Travone · ‎10-14-2016

@beach-mom

Take the word neice out of the sentence and replace it with daughter. If the friend was holding a graduation party for her daughter, friends would definitely bring a gift. Due to terrible circumstances, this woman is raising these children as they were her own. They should be looked at as her children and be treated accordingly. A gift is a must.

Your DD was right to ask your advice. Tell her to enjoy the party.

Forbidden Fruit · ‎09-04-2014

@beach-mom

What an accomplishment for your daughter's friend and the graduate. Yes, I'd bring a gift. Whatever is in your daughter's means. Many blessings to the family.

My Mom died before I graduated high school. One of the most meaningful gifts I got was a locket with my Mom's picture in it. I still have it and I graduated a long time ago. It still means the world to me. Sometimes a gift means more to the recipient than you think. In my case, the woman who gave it to me was murdered so I'm glad I have the locket for several reasons.