Question About A Wedding Gift - Page 2

KarenQVC · ‎05-13-2010

According to DH (raised Presby) everyone who attends the church is welcome to any wedding. In his small town many from the congregation just showed for the religious ceremony and gave no gift.

sandraskates · ‎06-26-2014

@mac116 wrote:
I was invited to a wedding ceremony, then given a time on the invitation to attend the later in the evening wedding dance, not the dinner reception. I do understand dealing with costs, and many people leave after dinner rather than stay for the dance. However, I had mixed feelings because some people at work were invited to the dinner reception as well as the dance. I chose to skip the whole thing, and did not send a gift. Our relationship at worked changed after that because she was angry with the people that did not attend because of her abbreviated version of an invitation.

I've never heard of an invite like that. Sounds a bit tacky to me.(Or maybe I'm just old-fashioned).

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

My advice is to attend if you want to attend. And give a gift it you want to give a gift.

Do whatever your instincts tell you feels right.

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

@mac116 wrote:
I was invited to a wedding ceremony, then given a time on the invitation to attend the later in the evening wedding dance, not the dinner reception. I do understand dealing with costs, and many people leave after dinner rather than stay for the dance. However, I had mixed feelings because some people at work were invited to the dinner reception as well as the dance. I chose to skip the whole thing, and did not send a gift. Our relationship at worked changed after that because she was angry with the people that did not attend because of her abbreviated version of an invitation.

I have never heard of being invited to only part of a wedding reception! Doesn't dinner usually go together with dancing? Sure there is a break during the actual dinner part but the idea of separating the two so you can afford to invite more to the dance part sounds odd and cheap. Do those people get any refreshments when they attend the dance only?

I have heard of wedding reception after parties when usually the close friends of the bride & groom will go to a bar or have a special smaller party afterwards for those who may be staying in a hotel and don't want the festivities to end.

Fressa · ‎03-20-2012

I would not cancel a prior commitment for this wedding. I think quite a few people skip the wedding and just go to the reception ( if invited). I sometimes think that they want to fill up the church for the sake of the pictures. I'm not fond of the "general" invite and would only send a card.

I have a dozen nieces and nephews and once they all started getting married with the showers and wedding invites it was crazy with the budget.I decided on what budget was going to work for me and stuck to it. It's crazy with all this extra expense and few of us have this much extra $. Some of them were registered for crazy expensive items so for those I sent a gift certificate in the amount that I had allocated.

kitty60 · ‎03-13-2010

I have found that in small churches there is usually an open invitation to attend a wedding ceremony at the church. In fact in our church when someone is married who has attended since childhood there is an open invitation in the weekly bulletin. It is your "church family" we always have a church shower for these members. Noone would ever expect them to invite the entire church to the reception although some have. If you feel like giving a gift do what your heart calls you to do. Often the most meaningful gifts are those from the heart.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I have never been invited to just the wedding ceremony, I have been invited to the reception only a few times. Yes, there have been weddings at our church where the congregation is invited but there is always a cake and punch reception in the church hall after the wedding and a bigger reception somewhere later for friends and family. We've gone to several of those. They are church friends or acquaintences so, of course, I give a gift but not a big one and not money. I give something like wine glasses or coffee mugs or set of towels. Something useful but inexpensive. I would do that if I was only invited to the ceremony too but honestly, I probably would not attend a wedding like that. I'd send a card but no gift.

beach-mom · ‎03-09-2010

Thanks again for all of your advice everyone!

We ended up going to the wedding. DH was able to come with me at the last minute when his plans changed. I had talked to some other good friends in the same situation. Some said they were not going; some said they were. In the end, there were around 10 of us there. I decided to give them a card with a small monetary gift inside. Other friends of ours were doing the same thing, so after talking to the pastor, we put the cards on the desk.

Now that I've been through this, I know what to expect. The one thing I would change is this: At the end of the ceremony the pastor invited everyone who would be attending the reception to leave for that. She asked the rest of us to stay in the welcome area outside the sanctuary and clear the sanctuary for pictures. There was NO opportunity to see the couple, or the bride's attendants, three of whom I knew well and would have liked to see! There was no opportunity to see the parents, although I did run into her dad in the hallway and was able to hug him. I would have liked to see her mom. The parents are now at another church, so I don't know when I will see them again. Most of us who gathered in the welcome area decided we didn't want to stay around and wait until pictures were over, so we just left.

Since there were so few of us, it would have been nice if the bridal party could have taken about 10-15 minutes to come say hello to us.

If I were ever in that situation, I would definitely have punch and cookies or something available after the ceremony in the welcome area!

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

I have always been invited to the ceremony and the reception. op sounds like a gift grab,,

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Do you have to have a meal after a wedding now? What happened to the afternoon ceremony, snacks and cake and dessert, and then you get to go home? Or perhaps close to the couple have a meal together after the reception?

I think it is simply to ask of most of the population to foot an entire meal for so many people after the ceremony. Sorry, but to me unless you are wealthy that is sad for it to be necessary. It's about getting married, not an event.

You shouldn't have to spend a house payment to get married in a church in a beautiful dress in front of GOOD friends and family.