Mom to Mom

[maryebrown_1]

On 3/11/2014 GoodStuff said:

Small medical offices can be the best -- or the worst -- environments. It depends on the management and the personalities that have established themselves in the office. They really are insular organizations and can be AWFUL if poorly run. (Trust me; I know from experience.) Sounds like your practice manager is either part of the problem or has no clue what's going on with employees wasting time and behaving in an unprofessional manner. Do you think the patients and customer service experience aren't affected by all the giggling, texting, and focus on partying? And people are entrusting their healthcare to these juvenile, giggling goofballs. Sad.

If I were you, I'd just stay out of the way, do your work, and quietly go home at the end of the day.........and start putting out feelers for a better job situation.

Excellent post! I worked in a small medical office for 7 years, started w/ 10 women and eventually whittled down to 4 of us, and we were professional, respectful, did our jobs
and helped each other out. We loved our boss (the solo Practitioner) and he appreciated our team efforts. He paid us well and had the utmost respect for all of us, as did the patients. When he "retired" from surgery, I was laid off since most of my primary duties were scheduling patients for tests, surgeries, and referrals, and also doing prior authorizations for them. This happened in 2008 when the recession was starting...I could not find another job locally for 6 months so I moved to FL with my adult son when he decided to attend a career school there in Sept. '08. There were no dorms, so we found an apartment.

I knew I had to find a job that would pay our bills for the yr. he would be in school. DH took care of the home front, but I was under so much stress to find something when the local jobless rate was hovering around 15%. I went office-to-office with my resumes and concentrated on Orthopedic, Neurology, Podiatry, and Chiropractic practices. It took me 6 weeks, and several interviews, and I finally was hired by an Orthopedic practice. I started out part-time and within 3 weeks the Office Manager had me working in 3 different departments, full time hours.

They had about 50 employees, including the Drs. and PA's, and at first everyone was nice to me. It didn't take long for me to see who was in The Clique, many of those 15 girls were bilingual and I knew they were making comments about me. Well, many of the patients were bilingual, too, so it was easy to see the shock on their faces as they looked at the commenter and then at me! I didn't really care - I had a job to do, I did it well, and I knew I would be leaving in October '09.

I avoided these girls as much as possible - they surfed the internet all day long, constantly gossiped, giggled, talked on their cell phones, and they even had "pajama parties" on the weekends (LOL)!! The Practice Manager turned a blind eye to their behavior (she did have her 'favorite' employees) but she received several phone calls and even letters from patients, complaining. Since we ALL had to wear prominently displayed name tags, they were finally called into her office and reprimanded for their behavior. Not one of the Clique Girls got a raise during the year I was there (and they griped about that too, in front of the patients and amongst themselves)! I seriously doubt that they changed their behavior, they just kept it under the radar of the Practice Manager when she did her "rounds"...The funny thing is, she begged me to stay and offered me a generous raise, but I declined. I also knew that some of the girls in The Clique would have to "replace" me in the 3 jobs that I had been doing!! Poetic justice...

[scatcat]

I lived in a neighborhood like that. Bunch of back stabbing phonies. I feel for you. We moved and said good -bye to no one.

[Bandwife23]

On 3/10/2014 Macallanmom said: I recently started working in a small medical clinic with 3 other women. Those three women ages 43, 41 and 25 have know each other for a couple of years and spend a lot of time "partying" together. I feel like I am back in college with all the catty sorority girls (I was also in a sorority, but had a life outside of it). I'm 45 and no longer have any interest in bar hopping, drinking until all hours and gossiping. All day long, these women giggle, whisper, text each other and make inside joke about their "activities" and besides being extremely unprofessional it is just plain immature and rude ! Has anyone else ever dealt with this type of situation ?

Sorry this is happening to you. Working w/an office full of women is one of the most dramatic things you can do! Just as OPs have said...it happens almost everywhere to everyone at some point in their lives. That includes me.

Before I relocated a few yrs ago to another city, I worked in a state gov. office where there were 50 women & 2 men. It was pretty much divided into 3 groups: the young ones, the older ones and the ones who were a mixure of young, middle aged, older. I fell into the last group. I was in my early 30's @ the time. I'm the type who tries get along w/everybody, but I found that I had more in common w/the last group. I understand how you feel. When I first started, I found out pretty fast how the younger girls were. I'd hear them come in on Mondays talking about the wild weekend(guys, drinking, parties). I would also hear the other ones talk about what they did. Its natural to feel kind of left out @ first, but please remember you haven't been there long and they have had 2 yrs together. And you never know, they may have known eachother in some shape, form or fashion b4 starting to work there. That always makes people closer from the jump. As I said, I'm the type who tries to get along w/everyone(even if its just to say the basic "good morning" and "have a good night/weekend"), so I talked to all of the ladies. However, the more I talked to them, the more I found out who I had more in common with. Its a little more difficult for you bc there's only 4 of y'all in the office.

You didn't indicate it in your post, but have you tried having a casual conversation w/them? Have they tried to include you at all? It may take them a while to "warm up" to you. Some people are like that. At my former job, there were some women I was cordial to, but I basically talked about work stuff and that was it. There's nothing wrong w/that.

You may already know this bc you are in your 40's and have life experiences, but keep in mind that you may not ever be close to these women like they are w/eachother. I don't mean that in a hateful way at all. It was something I had to learn the hard way. I worked w/a girl & we got really close(talked off & on all day @ work, went to lunch w/eachother, talked & texted after work, would shop on the weekends). Well, when I went to another office, it fizzled out within 6 months. I quickly learned that she thought of me more as a "work friend." I was crushed bc I didn't think of her like that at all. If you're my friend, you're my friend. I hope things work out for you.

[Desertdi]

On 3/11/2014 ChynnaBlue said:

On 3/11/2014 narcisse said:

If management has called you on this, take the hint and look for another job; this isn't going to end well for you.

Or make some changes, if you're willing. I don't like going to bars or parties and never did it at my last company. I've always hated "networking" and I would rather eat lunch alone and read a book than go out with others. When I started with my new company, I was a contract worker with a 3 month contract and a project that was supposed to last 15 months. I committed to going to happy hours and lunches and getting to know people. Granted, most were my age and not 20 years younger as in the second poster's case, but it was still a difficult transition for me.

It's now 6 years later and they not only kept me on for that project, but they found a permanent place for me, even as they laid off other people. A lot of that was because I have a specialized skill set they needed, but part of it was because I had people on my side who recommended me, spoke well of me, and fought for me. That's due to my work, but also because of the connections I made with those people. The one who fought hardest for me was one I went to lunch with, I went to his wife's baby shower, and I went to his barbeques. He liked my work, he liked working with me, and he liked me as a person. I made friends and allies because I was willing to change my own behavior and step outside my comfort zone.

I was working full time and had an elderly parent at home. I really didn't have the time or inclination to "join in the fun"...........

[Zcat]

It's not just women -- I've worked with all males for years. They have made it perfectly clear that they do not want women in their ranks. They lie about me and backstab me every chance they get, because they are trying to make me quit. I'm taking classes now to start a new career...

[Gayle2]

With all the healthcare reform upon us.....productivity will be EVERYTHING. People who gossip, text, and plan their happy hours at work are usually not as productive as people who don't. I think the problem will take care of itself. Hang in there.

[Macallanmom]

On 3/11/2014 chrystaltree said:

What you describe is not a "clique" by any stretch of the imagination. You feel uncomfortable and left out because you are the new girl and you have nothing in common with the others, except maybe the work. They are friends on and off the job, they socialize off the job. So, it's not a surprise that they talk and chat. That shouldn't concern you, unless it prevents you from doing your job. We all can't be part of the "in crowd". You're 45, you should know that by now. So, be pleasant and polite, do your job, collect your pay and go home.

Hopefully the Q will begin selling dictionaries one day very soon - you will doubtless benefit from owning one. Also, this is a new clinic and we all started the exact same day, including the owner. 3 of the 4 of us are nurses (including the owner) and the 4th is the office manager - most of us have a lot in common.

[pistolino]

Since you won't be partying with them, you need to develop the mindset that for the time being, you're going to find yourself on the sidelines. Since I've worked in one of those offices before, I can pretty much guarantee that 2 of them will turn on the other one and the one on the outs will come to you for gossiping and texting. Just stay professional, because the dynamics will change again when a different pair will exclude the third one....over and over.

[Macallanmom]

On 3/11/2014 pistolino said:

Since you won't be partying with them, you need to develop the mindset that for the time being, you're going to find yourself on the sidelines. Since I've worked in one of those offices before, I can pretty much guarantee that 2 of them will turn on the other one and the one on the outs will come to you for gossiping and texting. Just stay professional, because the dynamics will change again when a different pair will exclude the third one....over and over.

Thanks Pistolino, you are exactly right ! Your scenario almost happened a couple of weeks ago after a big blow up between them. It's just a shame that a lot of people have lost what it means to act and be professional. There sure are a bunch of mean spirited people on these forums I'm amazed at some of the snarky comments !

[pistolino]

On 3/11/2014 Macallanmom said:

On 3/11/2014 pistolino said:

Since you won't be partying with them, you need to develop the mindset that for the time being, you're going to find yourself on the sidelines. Since I've worked in one of those offices before, I can pretty much guarantee that 2 of them will turn on the other one and the one on the outs will come to you for gossiping and texting. Just stay professional, because the dynamics will change again when a different pair will exclude the third one....over and over.

Thanks Pistolino, you are exactly right ! Your scenario almost happened a couple of weeks ago after a big blow up between them. It's just a shame that a lot of people have lost what it means to act and be professional. There sure are a bunch of mean spirited people on these forums I'm amazed at some of the snarky comments !

LOL they're right on schedule. Three women cannot sustain a friendship together, it's always 2 against 1 on some level.

This may end up to be fascinating for you, because the 3rd person out may regale you with all the details on why the other 2 are so "mean" - you can certainly listen, but don't offer any advice or agree at all.