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Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: Noisy Kids in public places?

On 9/29/2014 adelle38 said:
On 9/29/2014 moonchilde said: Nothing will annoy me quicker than badly behaved children in public places. But with all the publicity that "child abuse" gets these days (90% deservedly so) I wonder how many parents are afraid to discipline their kids in public? There are kids (yes, even at age 8) that are afraid of *nothing* a parent threatens them with. I would not want to be in those parents shoes. The media has revealed time and again that social services and local governments refuse to help. Not saying every bratty kid is Bad Seed, or that parents couldn't do more, but sometimes the result of trying to prevent hypothetical "abuse" is the tying of hands.

You can discipline children without being accused of child abuse. Discipline doesn't mean hitting.

</ There are children (esp by age 8) who will defy their parents. Taking things away has no effect, or they will stand right in front of you and do what you have told them not to. No TV? No video games? No friends? No effect on the child. These children exist. Then they tell their teacher they have been refused food, locked in their bedroom, etc. "Abuse." Not saying this is the everyday child, but kids like that are not rare either. While I detest bratty kids, I have some sympathy with parents of "difficult" children.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Super Contributor
Posts: 331
Registered: ‎04-01-2010

Re: Noisy Kids in public places?

Recently at a Holiday Inn eating breakfast there were 3 couples and their kids sitting there eating. They talked at the top of their voices no regard to other people. One of the little boys was screaming running around like he owned the place. The ladies all I'd say in there 30 acted like they were so special. to me it just seems the norm to let kids do as they want instead of asking them to use a quiet voice in public. Grandparents are pretty bad at letting their gteandkids do what they want stand in grocery carts etc.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,371
Registered: ‎06-19-2010

Re: Noisy Kids in public places?

It's starting to become the norm, I've seen it also. It can ruin a nice dinner. Disciplining your children begins at home. How else will a child learn. I hate when we are seated in a booth and the kids jump up and down and poke their little faces onto our table and the parents say nada. They must think it's cute. Not bragging, but our girls never did this. Sometime we would bring along something small for them to play with while waiting for our dinner. If parents know their kids will act like this, they should go to a more kid friendly place like Chunky Cheese, etc. I'm sure the waitresses don't appreciated them running up and down the aisles either.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,953
Registered: ‎05-13-2012

Re: Noisy Kids in public places?

The problem is that many parents think their children are "cute" when they are actually annoying. Everyone needs to remember, you may think your child is wonderful but no one else does, they think their own children are wonderful.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,371
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Noisy Kids in public places?

On 9/29/2014 moonchilde said:
On 9/29/2014 adelle38 said:
On 9/29/2014 moonchilde said: Nothing will annoy me quicker than badly behaved children in public places. But with all the publicity that "child abuse" gets these days (90% deservedly so) I wonder how many parents are afraid to discipline their kids in public? There are kids (yes, even at age 8) that are afraid of *nothing* a parent threatens them with. I would not want to be in those parents shoes. The media has revealed time and again that social services and local governments refuse to help. Not saying every bratty kid is Bad Seed, or that parents couldn't do more, but sometimes the result of trying to prevent hypothetical "abuse" is the tying of hands.

You can discipline children without being accused of child abuse. Discipline doesn't mean hitting.

</ There are children (esp by age 8) who will defy their parents. Taking things away has no effect, or they will stand right in front of you and do what you have told them not to. No TV? No video games? No friends? No effect on the child. These children exist. Then they tell their teacher they have been refused food, locked in their bedroom, etc. "Abuse." Not saying this is the everyday child, but kids like that are not rare either. While I detest bratty kids, I have some sympathy with parents of "difficult" children.

If an 8 yr old doesn't respond appropriately to parents in public situations, it's the parents' fault 99% of the time. Yes, there is always the occasional defiant kid that doesn't. But the vast majority of kids will if the parents are consistent and do it right from a very early age. The problem is that too many parents don't parent these days. They are busy with their own lives and too many want to be friends instead of parents.

I never spanked my kids. They knew how to behave in public. If they got out of hand, I would warn them and it usually took care of it. If not, we left. It took only one time of leaving a place they wanted to be for them to figure it out.

Disciplining kids requires effort from parents to teach their kids. Discipline also needs to be done with love, not in anger.

Find your kid's currency. When one of my kids was little, he loved time outs so he never got one. I had another who hated time outs and they worked for him. As they grew up, their currency changed....take away the car, grounding, etc. One time my oldest missed curfew and came in an hour late. I had him up at 6:00 AM the next morning and he spent several hours working in the yard. He still talks about that and how it made him learn to always come home on time.

I never protected the kids from the natural consequences of their actions either. This was especially important when the kids were in middle school and high school. It's important for kids to see that their actions have consequences separate from any punishment from a parent.

Super Contributor
Posts: 4,044
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Noisy Kids in public places?

{#emotions_dlg.scared}{#emotions_dlg.scared} Unfortunately it IS very common now to be out in public and see children running amok and the parents just overlooking their behavior. Parents do not discipline their children now. It is ALL about them and YOU are the one with the problem if you do not think their children are precious, whether or not they are screaming or being obnoxious. I am shocked that so many parents today seem to tolerate and ignore such bad behavior in public. It never occurs to them, to take the children out of the store, restaurant, etc. if they are behaving badly, they expect others to just accept with the child's bad behavior. That is teaching the child that it is acceptable to disturb other people.{#emotions_dlg.thumbdown}

And yes I had little children, my children are adults now. When my children were young, I taught them what was acceptable behavior out in public (home too). Did I have all the answers to child behavior problems? NO, and my children were not perfect, but my children were taught to respect other people. I also made sure they understood that if they were being loud and disruptive in public, it bothered other people and that was not alright. You do not see parents teaching their young children this now and it's really sad!

Parents need to control their children and teach them proper behavior. Period.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,233
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Noisy Kids in public places?

On 9/29/2014 MotivatedMomma said:

While I believe that children need to learn respect and correct behaviors when out in public, I also work with special needs children and I've learned to temper my thoughts, actions and opinions when around children who are acting up. You have no idea what the actual situation is for this particular child nor what the parent(s) are going through at the time. While I believe that parents have a responsibility to teach their children appropriate behaviors, before you judge make sure you feel confident that you know the family's situation before throwing accusations out there.

I believe you've hit on the one exception. If the only disruptive children the rest of us had to deal with were those truly unable to control themselves - maybe somewhere on the autism spectrum - we'd learn to work with that.

It's the kids who could know better, who are not taught respect for others, who make my life in public places uncomfortable. Most kids can learn and do when parents do their hard jobs.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,572
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Noisy Kids in public places?

I will never understand places that restrict dogs yet allow boisterous, undisciplined children screamed, crying, running around, yelling at their parents.

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,295
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Noisy Kids in public places?

This is odd, but I saw RHWNJ and Melissa's husband Joe was in charge of watching their children for a while. The scene was horrible. Joe even said, "I let them do whatever they want". They were running around like idiots, throwing things, hitting Joe, jumping everywhere. It was horrible. I know, maybe a lot was for TV, but the situation in this thread reminded me of that scene. Hope someone had seen this and understands from where I'm coming. {#emotions_dlg.blushing}

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,463
Registered: ‎05-10-2013

Re: Noisy Kids in public places?

Children that are allowed to be obnoxious and yes that is what they are in public places are doing so because this is what they have been taught.

I have always said that a child learns by what he lives and this is so true with todays children.

Children are not to blame, the parents are.

The really scary thing is that in a few years these unruly, over indulged, obnoxious children will be our leaders.

Don't worry, be Happy!