Mom to Mom

[stargazergal]

I'd give you a million hearts for this post.   It falls on the parents...... To Parent !   Meaning teaching them to be respectful, and consequences for not being respectful.   By not doing so it is being disrespectful to all of the people around you.    It is not rocket science.   It starts with you to be respectful,  and to teach it.

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@imaclotheshog wrote:

Unfortunately it IS very common now to be out in public and see children running amok and the parents just overlooking their behavior. Parents do not discipline their children now. It is ALL about them and YOU are the one with the problem if you do not think their children are precious, whether or not they are screaming or being obnoxious. I am shocked that so many parents today seem to tolerate and ignore such bad behavior in public. It never occurs to them, to take the children out of the store, restaurant, etc. if they are behaving badly, they expect others to just accept with the child's bad behavior. That is teaching the child that it is acceptable to disturb other people.

And yes I had little children, my children are adults now. When my children were young, I taught them what was acceptable behavior out in public (home too). Did I have all the answers to child behavior problems? NO, and my children were not perfect, but my children were taught to respect other people. I also made sure they understood that if they were being loud and disruptive in public, it bothered other people and that was not alright. You do not see parents teaching their young children this now and it's really sad!

Parents need to control their children and teach them proper behavior. Period.

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[stargazergal]

Ha Ha !   Now that is funny !    I agree...... screaming, throwing food around all about the floor,  banging toys on the table,  jumping and running through the restaurant...... Not the kids fault...... it lies on the parents.

Our dogs would make for better patrons any day of the week compared to this.  Great Post !

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@NYwoman wrote:

I will never understand places that restrict dogs yet allow boisterous, undisciplined children screamed, crying, running around, yelling at their parents.

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[stargazergal]

Wowza !  Kudo's to you for speaking up !   Recently while out dining a family in the cornier had their child screaming for some time,  all the while everyone in utter shock it took so long for the parent to realize perhaps he should take her outside..... when he finally did...... the gentleman by the door applauded while stepping out for his decision to do so.

Of course mom did not appreciate that and went right over to embarrass hime while up to pay, and exclaimed how dare you be disrespectful of my child, he said,  well how dare you be disrespectful of all of us dining,  it was not your daughter I was applauding it was your husband that finally made the decision to step out.   I guess that is where we are at these days.    

[happygolfcartrider]

I don't understand why parents think that everyone wants to hear their screaming child or children in any public arena, whether it be a restaurant, mall, movie theater or any other public place.

If I pay good money for a meal or a movie I do not want to hear your child screaming, crying or throwing a temper tantrum and no IT IS NOT CUTE!

Please parents have some common decency to take your child away from the situation if they are causing a scene.

I would not hesitate to go to a  manager and ask that the parents and child be removed. 

[Gayle2]

Hello,

I was actually at a restaurant and was seated in a booth when a child in the adjacent booth, kept kicking the bench.  This caused our whole booth to shake.  Of course, the parent did nothing until I went over and asked them to take care of it.   Now, we always ask for a table far away from kids. 

[sassenach1]

This week I witnessed parents ENCOURAGING their two kids - approximately ages 4 and 6 - to do a screaming competition in Raleigh airport. They also allowed them to loudly wrestle in a fairly main walking area.  Horrible experience to have to endure.  Shame on those parents.

[maestra]

If children are 'difficult' at home, trust me they will be way worse in a classroom, esp. if the parent believes that little Jonny is perfect the way he is.

99.9% of my former students work diligently and I am proud of them. I also taught  Ian whose mother was not supportive:  he was disruptive, no HW, unmotivated, impulsive, irreverent, ad nauseum. Mom makes it very clear this is the teacher's doing and problem

Well, 5 years have passed and I see the afrementioned, now of legal age, in jail for armed robbery.

Besides making feel very sad, I wonder how Mom is going to get him out of this one.

In my experience it has never failed that a young teen exhibiting problems at 11-14 with no guidance or consequences will (and have) come to the attention of the authorities.

[Sawn]

Oh, puhleeze! I am a grandmothe, and I have to say that what the op is describing is the exception to the rule in my world. Most parents, even in "this day and age" are still trying to instill proper manners and caring in their children!

[stargazergal]

I am in agreement with OP. it has become the norm when

in public places...... such as mentioned on the thread here by other posters.

I have witnessed parental laziness when out shopping, going to a restaurant,

public venues,  more often than not ~   it is the child that suffers the consequences when parents don't follow through on their duties as parents.   And as other

posters have said, that does not mean screaming at your child in public, or

hitting them.   It means being patient, and thoughtfully showing them and

teaching them. 

Then finally the child is off to school, and has not a clue on how to behave

as they were not taught at home as they should have been.   It then falls on the

teacher to try to instill what is acceptable in a classroom setting, and teach.  It

affects the classroom setting and the learning experience for other kids eager

to learn.     It all starts at home ~  it seems the fabric of home and family life

has taken and unruly twist and turn ~ 

[Imadickens]

I don't think I saw this anywhere, but I think it should be up to the person in charge at the restaurant to ask the parents to control the kids. Better to lose the business of one unruly crew than many other customers! I would quietly tell the waitress about the problem and ask her to inform manager/maitre d'!  If nothing is done and the problem goes on, I would Insist on having my seat moved.

That said, there may be cases when the child or children involved have a disability. Many autistic children find it hard to behave, or don't understand the notion, in a public setting. Their parents need the time out like everyone else and all children learn by doing. The ideal would be for that type family to try to go to the restaurant when it is least crowded or ask to be seated away from others.  Of course some of my autistic students behaved better than some of my friends' kids!🙄 I just wanted to put it out there that some cases aren't just bad parenting!😏  

My own kids were more well behaved than most adults! 😇That's because I brought small, quiet things to keep them busy, like a handful of Legos or a small pad of paper. Plus, the first time one acted up I gave him the, " if you don't behave you and I will go sit in the car while the others get desert" look, which usually only had to be given once! But,  I also tried to include my children in the conversation when possible, so they had no need to get bored!