Need Advice on Friend's Daughter

Arianny · ‎01-10-2014

Hi All. Hope this is the right place to post this. My friend's daugher is 10 years old. She is a cute girl, but is spoiled and unruly, and she never listens to my friend and her husband when they try to correct her on how she is acting. They basically let her do what she wants. Well lately, the little girl has been asking me if she could sleep over my house. How do I say no to her without sounding mean? I don't think I could handle her on an overnight visit. But I also don't want to offend my friend. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

lolakimono · ‎03-29-2012

@Arianny

Have your daughter explain the "house rules" to her and see if she still wants to spend the night.

Start with short activities in the daytime, and if you can handle that and she listens to you, then you can progress to an overnight.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Say no, I'm sorry we're not able to do that now. Period.

Kids tend to act the way their friends act, and do you want your child to get the idea that is it ok to behave this way? If she questions you, be a little frank with her about the friend's behavior and that that isn't acceptable at your house.

You have no control over the other child in your home, and I wouldn't in any way get my child in the middle so to speak between the house rules/you and her friend. To me that's what the slsep over would turn into.

orange · ‎03-09-2010

You would be surprised at how well behaved a child can be when:

1) They are away from their parents.

2) Know 'your rules'.

3) Receive gentle correction when they do something not within your rules.

I used to watch kids for relatives and while they would be a handful with their parents, they were perfectly well behaved with me (once they figured out I wouldn't put up with nonsesnse and would correct them calmly). Many times children act out as a way to test their parents or get their attention.

The idea of a short playdate at your house seems like a good one - why not try it and see how it works out (depending if your own child is up for it!).

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

Am I missing something? OP said it was a friend's daughter and not her daughter's friend. There is no daughter mentioned. Either way I would just tell her no or tell her you have set rules at your house that she will have to obey and maybe she will get some idea of proper behavior. She may be wanting to get away because her parent's don't seem to care what she does.

Arianny · ‎01-10-2014

Thanks for your responses! I do not have children. I just think she thinks it would be fun to sleep at my house. The problem I have is that I find her overwhelming - she doesn't listen to her parent when they correct her - she basically runs the show at her house. I can deal with it for an afternoon, but not an overnight visit.

Scooby Doo · ‎03-14-2010

@Arianny wrote:
Thanks for your responses! I do not have children. I just think she thinks it would be fun to sleep at my house. The problem I have is that I find her overwhelming - she doesn't listen to her parent when they correct her - she basically runs the show at her house. I can deal with it for an afternoon, but not an overnight visit.

Real simple. "I'm sorry, but I don't do sleepovers."

LTT1 · ‎03-09-2010

@Arianny

I KNOW she is only 10, but kids these days can cause difficulties beyond the imagination. LEGAL difficulties.

An adult should probably not take on this responsibility unless there is an adequate reason in the parent's mind.

At a sleepover, when DD was 10, a little girl climbed out the window and went outside. The mother of the girl holding the sleepover was fast asleep.

I'd be careful and I do not think I would allow it.

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~

curlywhitedog · ‎03-09-2010

@Arianny

I uderstand you not wanting to hurt your friend's feelings but you are clearly more worried about offending your friend than she is about her child putting you in such an awkward position. There's no reason I can I think of for a child to make such a request to an adult friend of their parents. The request is very inapprropriate and if you can't say no then it's up to the child's parents to do it.

You mention "the little girl has been asking me" indicating this was not a one time request so it might be time for you to have a talk with your friend. Her parents letting her do whatever she wants is the reason why she's being so persistant, because no one is correcting her.

If it was my child who made such a question of an adult friend of mine she might ask ONCE but she'd never ask again. Period. End of story.

Maria