Need Advice and Suggestions From Moms With Older Teens

patticakes · ‎03-10-2010

At what age would you or did you feel comfortable having your 18 year old daughter travel out of town unchallenged with older friends? Let me be clear, I know the legal age is 18 but I also don't think that means an 18 year old is always thinking like an adult.

Trix · ‎03-16-2010

@patticakes I'm not speaking as a parent, but from my experience as an 18-year-old and how friends and siblings have handled this situation with their children. My parents were not particularly comfortable with me traveling out of town alone or with friends at age 18. I didn't mind their protective nature, so we never had a battle royal over it. However, I was allowed to do so because I had proven from school that I would be the same girl I was at home and would not be traveling with people whose behavior was not in sync with my own.

I guess there is no right or wrong answer to your question. Some parents feel protective of their 40-year-olds, while others are very comfortable allowing their older teens to make adult decisions and live as adults without parental supervision. I think you have to trust your upbringing and believe that your teen will conduct themselves in the manner in which they have been raised.

PickyPicky3 · ‎10-22-2018

@patticakes - You have six pages of answers on this topic. Another six won't make any difference. Read them over and give yourself 24 hours to make a decision. We know you're concerned, and you should be. But don't let that stop you from taking the next step.

Just make sure you let us know how things turned out.

GenXmuse · ‎05-15-2016

Did you not like the pages of replies you got the first time?

Love my grandkids · ‎11-24-2013

@patticakes What is the point in reposting something you just posted about recently? You've gotten tons of responses already.

Love my grandkids · ‎11-24-2013

@GenXmuse I think you're right. She's waiting for someone to tell her what to do.

I have a grown son, not a daughter, so I'n not responding.

shy bobcat · ‎04-24-2010

I found it uncomfortable, but I had an adventurous daughter that "tried her wings" before she was eighteen. I learned a difficult truth when my daughter was nineteen in the emergency room of our local hospital. She had been injured at work. I was surprised when told that her medical information was private. When your children become legal adults it can be a sudden blow to the gut. Afterall, we had been responsible for them for so many years. I just hoped and prayed that my parenting influenced her choices.

kitcat51 · ‎09-15-2016

Please share why you are posting this again @patticakes. Also, did you put a undetectable tracker on your daughter's phone?...you posted about that in March. Parents that helicopter don't help their kids, they stunt their growth.

ScrapHappy · ‎03-28-2010

@patticakes wrote:
At what age would you or did you feel comfortable having your 18 year old daughter travel out of town unchallenged with older friends? Let me be clear, I know the legal age is 18 but I also don't think that means an 18 year old is always thinking like an adult.

Do you know these older friends? If so, how long? If you met them, how do they come across to you? My daughter is 17 and unless something "drastic" happens, I would not forsee me giving her permission to go out of town with friends 2 years older than her. My daughter, right now, is very naive and couldn't handle herself in that situation and especially not if things started going wrong/bad. My daughter had a "friend" that I knew was just trouble, and this was during middle school. Got worse when High School started. They're not friends anymore, thankfully, but what I'm trying to say is that you get a sense who is a bad influence. Like I said in your other post, ATL is not a destination for 18/20 yers olds.

Still Raining · ‎03-30-2014

A bit ago this OP posted about placing a secret tracking device on DD. I assumed she was thinking Life Alert 🚨

Now these OPs. Something is totally missing from the story.

If the DD is 18, she is an adult and can do as she wishes. Depending your state laws, you can evict her right now or you may have to wait until she graduates.

Lots of missing detail.

Just for the record, I raised some daughters and if her new workmates were bad news, I would make her quit her job and this trip would NOT be happening in ANY case. I was one mean mama, and they turned out good if I do say so.