Mom to Mom

[NYC Susan]

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@on the bay wrote:

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@RedConvertibleGirl wrote:

What is with parents that let their kids scream non-stop?  In our old neighborhood one little girl just did it all the time.  Even her young brother asked her why she did it, her answer was to keep screaming at the top of her lungs.  Hour after hour.  Why aren't parents stopping this?!

That neighborhood was heck to live in.  All the (young) kids were allowed to stay out until midnight making noise and screaming.  Talk about bad parenting.  I just do not get it. It's one thing to hear kids laughing and such, but the constant screaming is beyond unacceptable.

We couldn't move out of there fast enough.

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@RainyDayGal-

So weird that you talked about this! They must be the kids in our neighborhood that are from 2 families!

I don't mind an entire football team playing in the pool or a rousing game with loud noises.

But until last year I've never heard of children who scream everything for hours! They don't ever talk ! They just scream-really! I'm not exaggerating.

This must be a different culture or something and yes I noticed too , there is no supervision. I think the parents are there but they sit far away and are on their phones or talking to themselves.

I sometimes just want to scream back to them-"you can have fun without SCREAMING!!! Aiyiyi!

It does drive you (me!) crazy after several hours of it!

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@on the bay and @RainyDayGal I know what you mean! There's "regular children noise" - kids playing, shouting, and getting excited.  And then there's screaming, which is a whole other thing entirely.

I used to have a neighbor with a young son, and he and his friends (boys & girls) screamed all the time.  They also rode their bikes directly where people were walking, and dropped the bikes randomly wherever they felt like dropping them.  They ran up on neighbor's porches, pulled branches from trees, banged baseball bats repeatedly on metal poles, etc.  The parents of course were never around to supervise.  They opened the front door and let the kids run free for hours on end.  They did nothing about the screaming or the lack of respect for other people, so of course the kids did whatever they felt like.  Including screaming and shrieking at the top of their lungs for extended periods of time.  It was not only annoying and disruptive to lots of people, but it wasn't safe for these young kids to have no supervision at all.

But I've also had many, many other children as neighbors who were nothing like that.  They ran and played and shouted, but they also said, "Sorry" if their ball landed on someone's porch, and they steered their bikes away from people who were walking or moved to the side to allow people to pass. Kids need to be taught respect and consideration for others.  It's completely possible to do that and still allow them to have a whole lot of fun. 

The screaming!  OMG, it can really be torturous to listen to.  My parents were pretty strict, and there's no way we ever would have been able to do that.  I was far less strict with my kids, but I wouldn't have tolerated endless screaming either.  Laughing and shouting and all of that is fine (and to be expected), but I agree - Constant screaming is unacceptable.  It always astounds me that everyone in the neighborhood can hear it, but the parents apparently somehow cannot.

[AuntG]

It seems unlikely that she'll be able to get those kids to stop screaming.  I'd contact a handyman and look into soundproofing the room she considers to be her "office".

[on the bay]

Yeah-the screaming-I just don't get it.

I think those who are saying kids will be loud have not come across this phenomenum yet! But interesting that others have too.

And I'm tellling you, last summer after about 4 hours of this, I did yell as loud as I could STOP SCREAMING! and yes I felt better. And there was a shocked silence--"Peace at Last" to quote a favorite childhood book.

[Mega Shopper]

I work from home and have the same issue.  I tried talking to the parents and the next day they were screaming with the kids!  I now encourage my dogs to bark and do whatever I can to get on their nerves.  I would also encourage the basketball playing when their kids are sleeping so you have something to bargain with.  It's actually a no-win situation, try moving, that's my plan!

[JaneMarple]

Since none of us lives with or near the OP we don't know how badly or if at all the neighbor's kids are really screaming or having fun outside playing. Aren't kids supposed to be enjoying themselves while playing? When we were kids if we didn't behave the punishment was not going outside to play.

In the last 20-30 years, we don't see kids with their bikes, scooters, skates etc. parked outside of homes anymore and I find it sad because those of us here posting seemed to have had awesome childhoods. So when did we forget about kids having fun outside and our home offices taking priority in the neighborhood?

Seven o'clock is a decent time to go in and bathe to get ready for bed for little ones so what's wrong with asking that the basketball playing be stopped?

I think the OP's daughter needs to sound proof her "office" or rent out space at another location.

[Julie928]

This is so interesting to me.  There are so many others going through the whole neighbor / noise thing.  As I type this (8 PM) I have the neighbor's kid, right outside my window, screaming 'MOM, MOOOOOMMMMMMM!'  I joke and say that the 7 PM nursery school is in session because every night at 7 PM they are out there ~ fun times, no regard for others.  You could set your clock by it.  What shocks the you-know-what out of me is how this kid talks to her mother.  Demanding she come over there RIGHT NOW, asking her mother WHAT SHE DOESN'T GET about coming over there right now, banging her fists on things when momarific doesn't come over there RIGHT NOW.  Me?  I've pretty much given up.  The dogs barking, kids screaming and just general qwap is part of living here.  I hate it.  But you know what?  It makes me all the more determined to quit spending on things I don't need and start saving.  Someday that house with acreage is going to be mine....  Back to reality ~ for the OP, I would try talking with them.  If you get nowhere then I'd have the Hrlem Globetrotters out there well past seven.  Hope you can work it out.  

[CalminHeart]

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@NYC Susan wrote:

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@CalminHeart wrote:

Leave the kids alone.  Let them be kids.  I live next to noisy kids and just shut my window.  I can barely hear them in the closest room when the window is closed. Or your dd might want to move to a different room to work.  

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I think it's easy to say, "let them be kids" when you can close a window and not hear them.  Clearly, that's not the case for the OP's daughter.

And it's not the case for me.  There are kids who play outside in my area, and they can be very noisy.  At times, I have difficulty hearing my own TV even with all the windows closed.  Fortunately, it doesn't happen often and never for long periods of time.  But I can see that it would be annoying and disruptive if it was more prolonged, whether or not someone was trying to work.

Since the neighbors have made requests re noise to the OP, I don't see any harm in mentioning the situation to them.  Maybe they can reach some kind of compromise that works for everyone.  Of course, ultimately children should be allowed to go outside to play and children of course by nature are noisy. 

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It is indeed easy for me to say.  Years ago, we had single paned windows which allowed every sound to come in. When we got new windows, the sounds were very muffled.  My windows are now 20 years old and still muffle sounds.   If the OP has double (or more) paned windows, I have a hard time believing the kids are that noisy.  

I've had noisy kids in the neighborhood for decades. I grew up in a neighborhood with 79 kids in an 10 house area.  Our back yard was always a playground. There have always been countless kids in the area where I live now (lived here 30+ years).  It never occurred to me that the noise was a problem.   I would rather have kids playing and noisy outside than sitting in front of a tv or video game.  When I want quiet, I shut the windows.   If they are especially rowdy that day, I can also shut the door to the bedroom near where they play.  

Just because the neighbor asked that the dog be quiet has no relation to asking kids to be quiet.  Asking a dog to be quiet is a lot different.  Dogs aren't supposed to bark non-stop and won't if they are properly trained.

It's not the kids' fault that the woman is working from home.  The world doesn't have to change because of it.  Different things happen when people work at home.  She should shut the windows, turn on the air, get some sound deafening headphones, and move on.

And I also worked from home before I retired.  I didn't care if the kids' noise was in the background.  But I did make sure to shut the windows if I had to make/receive a call where quiet was necessary.

[Pooky1]

we had a neibor living above us and she would come down and let her son run around like an animal and never say anything. so after a while i would just yell at him my self. im like if she lets him act like an animal in some ones house  and tried to chock our dog so i figured if shes not going to correct him then i will. once she said to me can you please yelled at him because he wont listen to me.

[PamelaSue72]

I do not like constantly screaming kids. Nor do I like constantly barking dogs.

Several years ago, our neighbor's daughter and her young children were visiting. Our nights were filled with, "Mom! Mom! Mom! Mooooooommmmmm!" Meanwhile the dog was running around the pool deck, barking and barking. Constantly, while the kids were in the pool. Finally, I hollered out the window, "For crying out loud, will you at least answer your kid??" Silence. And it wasn't too long after that everybody went in the house. 

After the daughter and grandkids left, the neighbor came over and apologized. He said they really hadn't thought the kids were causing that much of a problem. I told him that it was pretty much constant from 5:00 until 10:00 or after, every single night they were visiting. And I found out later that the neighbors on the other side of the house were also complaining about all the noise, especially after 10:00 before everybody went into the house. 

We have a pool and our grandchildren visit regularly. I don't mind the normal noise that kids make; it comes with the territory. But I don't like the high-pitched screaming and the "Grandmaaaaaaa! Watch!" all the time. The kids will come for several days and we are outdoors pretty much all day, either in the pool or playing in the yard. They know that when things get out of hand, we have some Quiet Time in a chair by the pool for 5 minutes or so.

[NYC Susan]

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@PamelaSue72 wrote:

I do not like constantly screaming kids. Nor do I like constantly barking dogs.

Several years ago, our neighbor's daughter and her young children were visiting. Our nights were filled with, "Mom! Mom! Mom! Mooooooommmmmm!" Meanwhile the dog was running around the pool deck, barking and barking. Constantly, while the kids were in the pool. Finally, I hollered out the window, "For crying out loud, will you at least answer your kid??" Silence. And it wasn't too long after that everybody went in the house. 

After the daughter and grandkids left, the neighbor came over and apologized. He said they really hadn't thought the kids were causing that much of a problem. I told him that it was pretty much constant from 5:00 until 10:00 or after, every single night they were visiting. And I found out later that the neighbors on the other side of the house were also complaining about all the noise, especially after 10:00 before everybody went into the house. 

We have a pool and our grandchildren visit regularly. I don't mind the normal noise that kids make; it comes with the territory. But I don't like the high-pitched screaming and the "Grandmaaaaaaa! Watch!" all the time. The kids will come for several days and we are outdoors pretty much all day, either in the pool or playing in the yard. They know that when things get out of hand, we have some Quiet Time in a chair by the pool for 5 minutes or so.

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I agree that kids constantly calling "MOM!  MOM!  MOM!" over and over can be enormously irritating.  I was at a friend's pool yesterday, and I heard this constantly to the point that I couldn't think about anything else.  Her friends (one of them male) were so engrossed in conversations that they were literally paying no attention to their children for long periods of time.  At a pool!!  

There's a big difference between normal kid noise and screaming.  And if a child is repeatedly calling out for parents with no response, it's clear the parents are not supervising their children.  It's worse in pool situations of course, but it shouldn't happen anywhere.  Beyond being annoying to everyone who has to hear it, it's dangerous.

When I was young, we were not allowed to scream.  Screaming meant something was terribly wrong.  We were allowed to run around, to play, to shout, to laugh, to call out to each other, etc.  I nearly drowned once, and I screamed.  Everyone immediately knew I was in trouble.  I grew up in Long Island, and was often near/in the ocean, and screaming was taken seriously, as it should be.  

I have zero tolerance for high-pitched, prolonged screaming.  And I have zero tolerance for kids repeatedly calling out for parents who are clearly not paying any attention to their children.