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05-08-2019 11:55 AM
@CelticCrafter wrote:Even if your son wasn't married and still lived with you, he's an adult and should have received his own invite.
@CelticCrafter Exactly.
05-08-2019 11:59 AM
@Sooner wrote:A lot of this thinking goes back to expectations from the days when families lived pretty close to one another, socialized together (even if they couldn't stand one another) and kids grew up young, married and had families and still lived nearby and went to mama's house for Sunday lunch or dinner.
I agree the world is a lot different today. But for my situation, I hardly ever say cousins and the ones I did see often were 20 years older.
And yes, to me if you are living at home, just include your name on the one invitation. If you want to be happy, don't be upset about stuff like this. It isn't worth it.
You are right @Sooner, it just rubbed me the wrong way. In the scheme of things this is not important.
05-08-2019 07:52 PM
No, I have never heard of anyone doing that after a person has married. That's just the height of ignorance. I do have little experience with "and family" invitations when my girls were single but no longer living at home. I'm not shy and I understand that some people are just clueless and ignorant. So I called to say that "I received the invitation to Susie's wedding, I'm so happy for her. I see that it's addressed to "and Family". I'm just calling to give you Mary and Kate's addresses so you can send their invitations to them directly". My sister had the same experience with her daughter but her daughter simply said, "if I don't receive an invitation at my home, I wasn't invited". Like I said I never heard of anyone do that after someone has married.
05-08-2019 08:54 PM
I see nothing wrong with young people wanting to collect memories and experiences, instead of stuff that just takes up room, only to have to down-size later in life.
As for not getting married in a church, well, I was raised to believe that G-d is everywhere, and not just in specific buildings.
One can have a religious ceremony amongst the trees, or on a beach, or in a park.
Also, the younger generation is pulling away from religious doctrine, and are becoming more spiritual. They still believe in G-d, but not all of the hard and fast rules of yester-year.
I think that it's cool to be married by a close friend or loved one, who really, really knows you, and make the ceremony all that more personal.
Heck, even I'm ordained, just like my mother was.
Gotta keep up the family tradition! *lol*
05-09-2019 10:48 AM
@Anonymous032819 wrote:I see nothing wrong with young people wanting to collect memories and experiences, instead of stuff that just takes up room, only to have to down-size later in life.
As for not getting married in a church, well, I was raised to believe that G-d is everywhere, and not just in specific buildings.
One can have a religious ceremony amongst the trees, or on a beach, or in a park.
Also, the younger generation is pulling away from religious doctrine, and are becoming more spiritual. They still believe in G-d, but not all of the hard and fast rules of yester-year.
I think that it's cool to be married by a close friend or loved one, who really, really knows you, and make the ceremony all that more personal.
Heck, even I'm ordained, just like my mother was.
Gotta keep up the family tradition! *lol*
I don't know if things have changed or not but if you're not married in the actual church a Catholic priest will not marry you.
05-10-2019 08:27 AM - edited 05-10-2019 08:36 AM
Seems to me addressing it "and family" would make it hard to figure how many were actually coming bc a lot of ppl these days often don't RSVP. Niece got married a year ago and had a sit down reception and we needed to select from a chicken, beef or vegetarian meal.
She had about 8 ppl who did not RSVP and she had to call each of them to avoid having to pay for a meal if they were not coming.
As for where and who officiates the wedding - the last 3 weddings I've attended were outside, no church involved, no minister, etc. and all were still lovely.
05-19-2019 04:49 PM
It could be a postage thing, the price of a stamp continues to go up. But, I think the invite is very vague 'with and family'. You could extend it to your sons new family and have 20 people show up. lol
05-20-2019 03:45 PM
Quality Gal:
Yes, I agree.
My first thought was to be happy that the family was included.
I'd ask my son and DIL if they would like to attend.
If so, I'd send the RSVPs, stating four guests will attend.
Enjoy the weddings, and various events.!
Maybe during those times, your son and DIL will communicate and give out their new address cards.
Just to keep in touch with family members and friends, etc.
05-31-2019 12:39 AM
I have no intention on putting their name on our card and gift.
So, that's what's really bothering you. The thought of adding your child and their spouse's name to your gift card. It seems that you want bragging rights all to yourself.
Eh, gads. Get over yourself.
Either personally hand the invitation to your child, or if they live too far away, put it in an envelope and US Mail it to them like a normal adult would.
06-08-2019 10:00 AM
It is laziness....my cousin lives out of state and all "invites" to their kids graduations from high school and college are thru Facebook. Problem is my parents and one sibling are not on Facebook and another sibling hasn't been "friended" by them. Suffice it to say we don't consider ourselves invited to their events if not all of us are invited. A phone call or a paper invitation thru the post would be sufficient for my 85 year old parents and a respectful accomodation.
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