Mom to Mom

[panda1234]

We are now getting graduation and wedding invitations addressed to my DH,  myself and “family”. My son and his wife do not live with us, I feel they should get their own invitation.....they are their own family now. People have their address from the wedding invitation and thank you cards. If they don’t, they can always google it.  I have no intention on putting their name on our card and gift. Has anyone run into this? Sorry for the rant.

[Peaches McPhee]

I'd chalk it up to plain ignorance/laziness rather than anything else.  I'd also be passive agressive, I would not "share" my invite with my son.  If questioned where my son and his wife were, I'd say, well, they did not get an invitation, so I guess they were home.  

[nana59]

i agree....

[panda1234]

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@Peaches McPhee wrote:

I'd chalk it up to plain ignorance/laziness rather than anything else.  I'd also be passive agressive, I would not "share" my invite with my son.  If questioned where my son and his wife were, I'd say, well, they did not get an invitation, so I guess they were home.  

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@Peaches McPhee   I thought of doing that and I just might.

[panda1234]

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@nana59 wrote:

i agree....

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@nana59   Thank you, so it’s not just me thinking this way.

[nana59]

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@panda1234 wrote:

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@nana59 wrote:

i agree....

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@nana59   Thank you, so it’s not just me thinking this way.

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nope....it's not just you.....

[Carmie]

People are so uneducated in the proper way to address envelopes and letter salutations.  The last couple of wedding invites we got were addressed to our first names instead of Mr. and Mrs. on the outside envelopes.

All of these engaged couples are college graduates.  

If I got an invitation addressed to "and family" I think I'd bring my dogs.  Besides my DH and I, they are the only other family members who live here.

You are correct, your son and his wife should get their own invite.  If they can't find the address for you son, they could send a separate invite in his name to your address, google or call and ask what his address is.

[queendiva]

On the flip side: when DS and DDIL married two years ago they sent all the cousins who were of similar ages invitations addressed to them at their addresses. Most lived on their own; only one was already married. All college grads.

The married cousin and her husband gave a check. The other 20-somethings did not RSVP nor did they send so much as a card of congratulations. We are talking first cousins! Ignorant! Some attended the wedding and reception; others were unable to come.

Both mothers also convinced the bride to add Formal Attire to the invitation. The wedding was in a church on a Friday afternoon in the summer followed by a full-blown dinner reception with all the trimmings. While technically a Friday late afternoon wedding is not a formal affair, we were seriously worried about what people, especially their friends, would wear. In the end everyone was dressed appropriately.

Also noticed that very few couples choose to marry in houses of worship. I guess church/synagogue, etc are not Instagram-worthy.

[Sooner]

Maybe I was ahead of my time, but none of this seems like a really big deal.  I was not close to my cousins for the most part, they were older than me, and the first cousins I had I never saw in my 20's.

I don't ever remember getting a wedding announcement from any of them, did not attend a wedding, and don't remember sending a gift to any of them.  

Just because you are related to people doesn't mean you are close.  And I've noticed that family reunions usually die out when you get down to cousins.  New families form and they start from there. 

[on the bay]

Yeah, that is kind of strange.