Mom to Mom

[FuzzyFace]

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@Bascia wrote:

Why would any grandmother post that happening for other to read.

To me it is a private happening and not for other to hear about.

Sorry but I find posting that kind of stuff is inappropriate.

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And yet, you did read it and comment on it. So much for your dislike for "inappropiate" and distastefull posts

[Miss Shelly]

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@Bascia wrote:

Why would any grandmother post that happening for other to read.

To me it is a private happening and not for other to hear about.

Sorry but I find posting that kind of stuff is inappropriate.

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Why is this "inappropriate"?   Kids have meltdowns.  Consider yourself lucky if you gave birth to kids with mellow personalities.

My oldest had many meltdowns.  The first of which came at 3 weeks of age.  At that time she was only home from the NICU for a week and I couldn't console her.  She had her back arched, arms and legs stretched out, and a piercing cry.  I called the Pediatrician and took her to see him immediately.  We  were brought straight back to an exam room, where he checked her over thouroughly.  He asked for a bottle and after a few attempts got her to suck.  She finally relaxed.  He smiled and said I probably just witnessed her 1st temper tantum and then reminded me that he had mentioned she had a "fiesty" personality. She was fighting them as the team was working on her at birth (She had a spontaneous pneumothorax and was sent immediately to the NICU where she was poked, proded, etc.) and that is why she had such a great outcome.  He surmised that she was mad that I didn't anticipate her hunger and get the bottle to her in time so she had a meltdown.  

Her meltdowns continued through her pre-school years.  Sometimes there was nothing we could do, but, wait until she tired herself out.  I left many situations carrying her like a screaming sack of potatoes.   At every appt. I 'd talk to her Pediatrician about these meltdowns.  He always reassured me things would get better and reminded me it was her "fiesty" personality that helped her recover from a "tumultuous" birth and NICU experience with no lifelong problems.

Today she is 31 and a fine, productive, member of society.  When I see a mother in public dealing with this issue I always smile and let them no it doesn't last forever and I have been there.  Her friend from high school recently posted on fb that she was embarrased when her 3 y/o had a meltdown in a store and had to be taken out.  I told her 1 of mine was like that.....her friend....so there is light at the end of the tunnel.  

We learn to hold our head up, deal with the situation, and MOM on.  If people don't understand, that is their problem.  

[FuzzyFace]

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@Miss Shelly wrote:

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@Bascia wrote:

Why would any grandmother post that happening for other to read.

To me it is a private happening and not for other to hear about.

Sorry but I find posting that kind of stuff is inappropriate.

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Why is this "inappropriate"?   Kids have meltdowns.  Consider yourself lucky if you gave birth to kids with mellow personalities.

My oldest had many meltdowns.  The first of which came at 3 weeks of age.  At that time she was only home from the NICU for a week and I couldn't console her.  She had her back arched, arms and legs stretched out, and a piercing cry.  I called the Pediatrician and took her to see him immediately.  We  were brought straight back to an exam room, where he checked her over thouroughly.  He asked for a bottle and after a few attempts got her to suck.  She finally relaxed.  He smiled and said I probably just witnessed her 1st temper tantum and then reminded me that he had mentioned she had a "fiesty" personality. She was fighting them as the team was working on her at birth (She had a spontaneous pneumothorax and was sent immediately to the NICU where she was poked, proded, etc.) and that is why she had such a great outcome.  He surmised that she was mad that I didn't anticipate her hunger and get the bottle to her in time so she had a meltdown.  

Her meltdowns continued through her pre-school years.  Sometimes there was nothing we could do, but, wait until she tired herself out.  I left many situations carrying her like a screaming sack of potatoes.   At every appt. I 'd talk to her Pediatrician about these meltdowns.  He always reassured me things would get better and reminded me it was her "fiesty" personality that helped her recover from a "tumultuous" birth and NICU experience with no lifelong problems.

Today she is 31 and a fine, productive, member of society.  When I see a mother in public dealing with this issue I always smile and let them no it doesn't last forever and I have been there.  Her friend from high school recently posted on fb that she was embarrased when her 3 y/o had a meltdown in a store and had to be taken out.  I told her 1 of mine was like that.....her friend....so there is light at the end of the tunnel.  

We learn to hold our head up, deal with the situation, and MOM on.  If people don't understand, that is their problem.  

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Wow! You are an amazing mother; I have a lot of respect for you.

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[SisterSisto]

I come to these posts when I have something bothering me, just to see if other's are experiencing the same situations I am.  Bingo!  This post caught my eye because I am a grandmother who has a situation that is the same as the original poster.  My granddaughter just turned six and she can start screaming, crying, yelling, throwing things at the drop of a hat.  It's a long story but the outcome is that we won't be having the grandchildren again because we didn't handle things like my daughter thought we should although there wasn't any direction from her.  

Everybody's circumstances are different and I usually don't post because there are people on here that will criticize and find fault because they usually have the "right" answers and that is to put down others.  They are supportive to the poster or can not just listen.  

[LyndaGee]

You did a great job changing her mood for the better.  Bet her parents were glad you and your husband arrived at the scene.

[Miss Shelly]

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@FuzzyFace wrote:

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Wow! You are an amazing mother; I have a lot of respect for you.

While I thank you for the compliment, I am in no way amazing.  It is very hard raising a tempermental child.  it can wear you out mentally and physically.  Fortunately my support system was good.  I had my husband, mother, a very good friend, and a wonderful Pediatrician to help guide me through it.   There were times I cried at my preceived lack of parenting skills.  I greatly appreciated a kind word or knowing nod from other parents when I was dealing with a public meltdown  I am happy when I can give the same to a young mother in a time of distress with no judgement.  All children are not created the same and none come with instructions.

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[FuzzyFace]

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@Warrior2022 wrote:

Bratty behavior needs to be stopped.  She acted like a brat.  You rewarded her bratiness.

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I'll bet you were just a barrel of laughs as a mother; or did you even have any children? I've noticed that all too often, it's people who don't have children who think they know everything about it

Actually, you sound pretty bratty yourself; maybe that's why you know so much about it

[Warrior2022]

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@FuzzyFace wrote:

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@Warrior2022 wrote:

Bratty behavior needs to be stopped.  She acted like a brat.  You rewarded her bratiness.

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I'll bet you were just a barrel of laughs as a mother; or did you even have any children? I've noticed that all too often, it's people who don't have children who think they know everything about it

Actually, you sound pretty bratty yourself; maybe that's why you know so much about it

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No, I certainly was not a brat nor was my child.  My parents didn't play that game and neither did my husband and I.  Like some people have posted, we ignored or removed him from the situation.  We did not reward him by playing with toys. 

And I really don't blame the child, it's those that encourage it that are at fault.  Now she knows if she has a fit, her grandparents will make it a ok.  And hey, it's a grandparents right to spoil their grandkids but within reason.

And like you, I also have a problem with people that don't have kids telling others how to do it. 

You posted a story on a public forum and are not liking my responses, so that makes me a brat.  Excuse me while I throw myself down and scream at the top of my lungs.

Now I actually pity the poor child.

[FuzzyFace]

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@Warrior2022 wrote:

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@FuzzyFace wrote:

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@Warrior2022 wrote:

Bratty behavior needs to be stopped.  She acted like a brat.  You rewarded her bratiness.

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I'll bet you were just a barrel of laughs as a mother; or did you even have any children? I've noticed that all too often, it's people who don't have children who think they know everything about it

Actually, you sound pretty bratty yourself; maybe that's why you know so much about it

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No, I certainly was not a brat nor was my child.  My parents didn't play that game and neither did my husband and I.  Like some people have posted, we ignored or removed him from the situation.  We did not reward him by playing with toys. 

And I really don't blame the child, it's those that encourage it that are at fault.  Now she knows if she has a fit, her grandparents will make it a ok.  And hey, it's a grandparents right to spoil their grandkids but within reason.

And like you, I also have a problem with people that don't have kids telling others how to do it. 

You posted a story on a public forum and are not liking my responses, so that makes me a brat.  Excuse me while I throw myself down and scream at the top of my lungs.

Now I actually pity the poor child.

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HAH! believe me, you don't need to. She's a sweet little thing most of the time but looses it everyonce in a while.  (LOL, I could say the same about myself and I'm a lot older :-)

When children that young get tired or frustrated or overwhelmed, they don't have the intellectual capacity to express what's bothering them and that's when those lose control. (Heck, I still do it myself sometimes! and I'm in my 60's)

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Has anyone here ever tried REASONING with a toddler having a meltdown? It's can't be done. Now, a 6 year old kid throwing a fit because he can't have a baloon is an entirely different story. They have the intellectual development to be talked to and, if necesary, punished.

But a 3 year old--well, I repeat my question: Has anyone here ever tried to reason with a child that age? Sometimes you can let them yell it out, or put them down for a nap, feed them, or try to distract them. But actually reason with him or her? They aren't quite old enough for that to work.

[Evie2004]

@FuzzyFace have to laugh! Welcome to the world of granddaughters! After having 2 sons, we now have 3 granddaughters, sisters, ages 14, 12, & 6! All different schools..we have seen many of those meltdowns over the years..our son,  my husband, & I just smile & shake our heads! We feel for our son, living with all that estrogen, happily he doesn’t seem to mind!