Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,510
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

[ Edited ]

@Magga1234 wrote:

I have a 5 year old granddaugther who basically ignores me when I come to visit or when i meet see her at a family gathering. If time allows, I usually manage to win her over and we have fun together. She is a smart, happy little girl, an only child just out of preschool and soon to be in kindergarten. My daughter and soninlaw have told her that she is being unkind and that her behaviour is unacceptable but not much changes.  Are they being to easy on her or am I being to sensitive? I appreciate your thoughts...Thanks...  

Developmentally speaking, unless you see her daily and interace  with her consistently you are basically just not on her mind. Five year olds are focused on the here and now. She’s not being deliberately rude, she is acting as if you are almost a stranger because to a five year old, anyone she doesn’t see every day is almost the same as a stranger. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,168
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

[ Edited ]

I also have a five year old grand daughter who pretty much ignores me when we are at family gatherings. I have pretty much helped raise her and quit my job so I could be a part of her care. We have figured out that she is very easily overstimulated by crowds....she looks down and heads for the farthest corner of the room or other place where she can be around fewer people. Some kids are like this, so are some adults. She was not like this as much until about age three....her pediatrician says it is not unusual. She usually warms up to me if I don’t force her to. I don’t think taking your granddaughter out for ice cream is always a good idea; she may think you are only good for a treat and she won’t be connecting with you, just what she gets. I would continue to be around her but force her to interact with you. Does she interact with others? She just began kindergarten and is doing fine interacting with others, but she still prefers the reading rug where there are fewer kids and it is quieter than the art center where it seems to be a noisy and rambunctious bunch. If you are extremely concerned then her parents may want to take her to her pediatrician and voice their concerns

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,143
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

Haven't read all the replies,but here is what I think:
You are being too hard on the parents-myob.

Leave the kid alone,maybe she just doesn't like you.

Who knows? Things could change and you may become friends.

Don't give her too much attention.

There a lot of kids that would love a loving grandparent,seek them out.

Super Contributor
Posts: 270
Registered: ‎09-10-2019

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

Don’t let it bother you. I have a grandson who is 3 1/2 and usually prefers to be with his great grandmother. I know he loves me because he tells my daughter. He a

so speaks about me at home. I think he is just this way. I don’t force myself on him. I don’t hug him or kiss him until he comes to me. When he comes to my house or I see him I say hi and smile but I let him approach me. Remember we don’t want to force children to kiss or hug people even family for their own safety. I use to tell my children kiss or hug and uncle or aunt even when they weren’t comfortable but now I wouldn’t do that. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,805
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

As a very young child, as I'm now remembering, I kept away from people wearing very strong perfume.


Also, as I recall, I never liked being kissed on my face.  I would always bend my head down, so folks would only be able to kiss the top of my head.  (lol)


Some youngsters are very shy around people that they don't see very often.


Each and every one is special in their own way.


I like some of the suggestions posted here, especially sitting down and painting, art work, crafts.  Some children seem to be very interested and delighted to watch and maybe participate in these activities.  





'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Regular Contributor
Posts: 198
Registered: ‎10-26-2011

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

My great-granddaughter who is 6 does the same thing.  I just let her go.  She will come around.