Mom to Mom

[Bubby Mommy]

Whoa!  I am not fighting with my DIL or with my son.  They LOVE that I buy clothes for my grandson.  It's just that my DIL wants me to buy the wrong size!  I cannot knowingly buy clothes that are too small!  That's all!

[PamfromCT]

I don’t know if this would work or only create more problems.  Do you think DIL would be open to going on a shopping trip with you and grandson to buy new clothing?  Grandmas love to buy grandchildren clothing, but you might explain that you want to buy clothing that suits her taste.  Just a thought.

[PamfromCT]

I don’t know if this would work or only create more problems.  Do you think DIL would be open to going on a shopping trip with you and grandson to buy new clothing?  Grandmas love to buy grandchildren clothing, but you might explain that you want to buy clothing that suits her taste.  Just a thought.  And hopefully she would want the clothing to last a while, so maybe she would be amenable to purchasing clothing that at least fits.  

[Juniper2]

Maybe explain to her that although you love buying your grandson clothes, you don't want to waste your money on clothes he will only wear a couple of times because he will outgrow them too quickly.

[kitcat51]

Keep the larger size clothing at your house...simple & done.

[barb40]

I'm pretty sure almost all moms are doing the very best they can for for their babies and children.  

You cannot control what your son and DIL do, or how they parent.  

If you feel the need to change your grandsons clothes when he is at your house , that is what you think is best.  If he wears those clothes home, I'm sure your DIL realizes he will grow into them, and not donate them.

Good luck!

[Annabellethecat66]

@Bubby Mommy  The way I see it you handled (what could have been a 'difficult' situation) appropriately.

You are just going to complicate the situation.  Just don't mention it anymore.  Notice to see if you see the clothes in the child.

If it was me, I wouldn't even mention it one way or another.  

I don't know if you have a daughter or daughters but us women (mothers, etc) who do know sometimes it's best to let 'things' go.

My guess is once she realizes how easy it is to dress the kid in a larger size (i.e. snaps, zippers) and the child not struggling because it doesn't fit right, she'll start buying the larger sizes too.

Here's what I learned.  First the background.  I have 3 daughters (youngest is 39 soon).  They are very, very different personalities.  I have 5 grandaughters (3 are teenagers and 1 grandson who is a teenager).  Phew!  That's a handful!

Anyway, it's been my observation that if you TRY to re-address (stress the re) you are going to make all of this SEEM like a bigger notice than it really is.

It's human nature for a person to think back when someone says (in your case) "If you want to take them back, here's the receipts".

She accepted the clothes and my guess is she appreciates them.  

Don't make/let her read more into this because my guess is she will if you talk about it anymore.

I wouldn't even talk about 'how much better he looks, etc".

Every mother (especially those of girls) will often hear from their adult daughters the same phrases, words or actions we said or did while raising them.

I learned a long time ago not to say, "That sounds familiar" (or anything similar).  You will know you had an influence (hopefully good) on another generation.

The saying "Let sleeping dogs lie".  It fits in this case.....just my opinion.

I would be remiss if I didn't tell you how amazing you are as a grandma.  One lucky son and one lucky grandson...(let's not forget the daughter-in-law too)...she's also lucky.

[Hoovermom]

@Bubby Mommy :  If you are allowed to babysit him a few times a month, I would change his clothes when he gets to my house and send him home in them.  I am sorry you cannot just give her the clothes and she would be so happy to get new ones for your darling.

I am wondering how you knew the daycare personnel had addressed this "problem" with her?  If she shared with you, I would tell her to avoid any problems with daycare personnel about her care of him.  Strange days we live in.

[Bubby Mommy]

She told me the Day Care called her and mentioned the baby's tight clothes.  She said: "Well the clothes fit him when I put them on him this morning....." (?????).  Doesn't make any sense really.  I think she'll do what she wants regardless of whether or not I buy the baby clothes.  I can't force her to put the right clothes on him.  But they are there for her/him if and when she "wakes up." 

[mom2four0418]

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@Bubby Mommy wrote:

She told me the Day Care called her and mentioned the baby's tight clothes.  She said: "Well the clothes fit him when I put them on him this morning....." (?????).  Doesn't make any sense really.  I think she'll do what she wants regardless of whether or not I buy the baby clothes.  I can't force her to put the right clothes on him.  But they are there for her/him if and when she "wakes up." 

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It sounds like your son needs to "wake up" as well.