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New Contributor
Posts: 4
Registered: ‎03-29-2015

Re: Just lost our beloved son

I just came across your post.  As a mom who also lost a son, my heart breaks for both of us and for every mom who lost a child.  My son died 4 years ago, and there isn't a day,;an hour or a minute that goes by that I'm not thinking of him, talking to him or looking at his picture.  

The day my son died became my "new normal".  What was important no longer is.  I wish you peace.  The immediate devistation that one feels goes away, but it is replaced with sadness....even when you are happy....you are sad.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,103
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Just lost our beloved son

I'm so sorry for the terrible loss of your son. Please seek help if you need it. There is very little that is harder than this... Take care of yourself. 💝

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,303
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Just lost our beloved son

Sending you (((HUG))) and I’m thinking of you and hope you and your family are doing better. May your beautiful son Rest In Peace.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,188
Registered: ‎04-19-2016

Re: Just lost our beloved son

Im so sorry for your loss.  Just lost our daughter(my stepdaughter) July 1st.

 

It is awful to hear those words.  

 

Peace and prayers for your loss.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,160
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Just lost our beloved son

I'm so sorry for your loss(es).  Everyone in your life, have lives that matter.  Talk about them, talk to them when you need to.  Cry when you need to.  You've had a lot and it will take time for you to mourn each one.  They will be with you forever, in your heart and memories. 

 

Keep your own pace, and rest.  I'm glad you have more family to surround yourself with.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,160
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Just lost our beloved son

@dimin So sorry for your loss too.  

Contributor
Posts: 54
Registered: ‎04-26-2010

Re: Just lost our beloved son

I am shattered for you. No one should outlive their child. I came to this site today for wisdom and you helped me so much. My dear childhood friend and I lost touch during Covid. I did not hear from her at Christmas. I just heard from her that there 22 year old son accidentally overdosed on Christmas Eve. I have lost many people including the love of my life, my husband before his time. Their only child! Your words will help me be a better friend to her even from afar. I do understand your shock and grief. There is no way out but to go through. May the universe /God or whatever you look to surround you with love and warm hugs. I will think of you when I do my nightly list of thoughts. Please come back here.
I am trying so hard to be correct in my words. This is not the time to debate religion.

It
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,308
Registered: ‎06-15-2016

Re: Just lost our beloved son

Speak from your heart and be honest. Tell her you can't begin to understand the loss of a child but you care for her and are there if she wants to talk, cry, or laugh. You can share your experience with grief but emphasize we all grieve differently and there is no right way. My mother was my true soul mate. She died after a bout with cancer. Everyone thought I'd fall apart but I didn't. I seemed to kick into second gear and moved ahead. It took me 10 years to cry for her. I felt such guilt because I hadn't been able to cry and then one night it suddenly hit me. I was a good daughter and she was a wonderful mother. We talked openly about her death. I'd have given all my worldly goods to have kept her just a little longer. But, I couldn't cry, until I did. It's important she understands there is no time table for grief or expectation of behavior. Just two friends sharing a loss.

Never underestimate the power of kindness.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,930
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Just lost our beloved son

I have no words, just a heart felt prayer for you.

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 104
Registered: ‎12-08-2010

Re: Just lost our beloved son

Hello everyone and thank you. I do check the mom to mom board quite often but have been reluctant to respond because I thought an old thread wasn’t ok, for some reason? It’s so touching though to read so many kind responses and I just had to say something. It’s been a year and a half now since our son died and I can say that it does get better (I don’t cry several times a day now) but it’s such a journey. There’s guilt for feeling happy and for going any amount of time not dwelling on him, weird things that are hard to explain but I know that anyone who’s grieved gets it. Two lovely things have happened since his passing though, one is that our granddaughter was born (prematurely, but she’s fine now) in October of 2020. I know he was so happy for his older brother and was proud when he got to be the one told FIRST that it was a girl when his brother found out. James had Asperger’s and was very childlike in many ways so when he got to know something special it meant a lot to him.
Also, I knew he had an internet friend in India but all I knew was her name. “Bridgette in India” isn’t a lot to go on so I despaired of every finding her but our son’s obituary was online and she found it! She wrote memories and the mortuary gave me her email address so we’ve been in touch ever since! They were very close and so she’s got memories, sound files, and texts that are all pieces we didn’t have and have been very wonderful and painful but beautiful to have. For instance, she told us that one night they were talking and she was telling him how God cares for him. She showed him verses and I got to see the text thread where he said it made him want to cry. She knew he underlined the verses and so his brother, who now has his Bible, found them and sent a picture. It was so beautiful and comforting to us all to see that and know the story.
I will never forget all of the help and comfort you all gave me here. Please don’t worry on my account if words are “correct” or not. It’s the love that speaks and I thank you