I'm about ready to thow up my arms in defeat - Page 3

luvmybeetle · ‎08-10-2013

@kaydee50 wrote:
A friend who had some problems with her MIL once told me that I should marry "an only child orphan." Not bad advice.

Nope that doesn't work. I married an only child, I am one also, and it is worse because his mother made a God out him and resented me for taking him away. It was a miserable life until she passed away. She used to pick up after him even after he was past 20. I have so many stories.

emmysmom · ‎06-22-2010

@2blonde wrote:
So, here's a different way this situation could go. I was the DIL when I was young. My DH and I lived in a mobile home, and my in-laws actually moved in right next door to us! You may be thinking the worst, but my in-laws were dear people, and my MIL never interfered with us at all. As a matter of fact, my own mother died when I was only 20, and I was somewhat estranged from my father, so I rather adopted my MIL as my own mom. Even after my DH and I divorced, I still remained friendly with all my in-laws.

My first marriage, I had lovely inlaws!!!!!!The divorce wasn't my choice and I missed his family so much. I kept in touch with his parents..and miss them as much as I miss my own. They treated me like thier daughter! The one good thing about age...I'm at that point..if I was ever to get married again..doubtful any inlaws would still be living!

Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile.
-- Mae West

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@Love my grandkids wrote:
@chrystaltree I don't believe that at all. From what she says her DIL is just being difficult at present. Does NOT mean the OP doesn't like her.

My DIL and I had what we now call "a few bumps in the road" early on but got through them just fine and we all love each other dearly.

Of course she doesn't like her, that's why she made that comment about possibly being denied her grandchild even though the girls said no such thing and gave her no reason to think such thing. Op even admitted that herself. You know, there's nothing at all wrong with not liking someone. Only a saint can like someone they have had a troublesome relationship with. My son in law and I also had some of the bumps in the road. Omg...lol But we both love my daughter so we both bent over backwards (I'm sure I broke a vertebrae or two) to avoid any arguments or nastiness. It took a couple of years but, we got to know each other and accept each other for who we are and things are good now. Not great, good. I wish that for op and her daughter in law.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Having read a couple of discussions on this board recently I'll put in my two cents worth: When people get married they form a new family and that family comes first.

Like it or not your sibling, son, nephew or whatever is married and the decisions and relationships with their spouse and children come first. Good or bad, whether you like or despise them, that's the primary relationship. And as such others need to keep their noses out of it. Period.

If you get married and are over 18, you are technically an adult. For whatever decision you made, it is now between you and the spouse unless of course there is abuse or criminal behaviour of some sort.

So don't go behind the couple's back to one another; don't make nasty comments to either; don't interfere in what they are doing. It is their life and problem to work out or not as they see fit.

Love your relative, support them and be there for them if they come to you for help, but otherwise, be civil and MYOB. You don't have to like or live with the spouse, they do and it's their decision and their choice.

TTerri · ‎02-20-2011

@QVCkitty1 wrote:

@TTerri wrote:
Sit her down, tell her what's on your mind and if she does threaten to not let you see your granddaughter, let her know you'll see her in court.
I wouldn't suggest court, till I knew both sides.

I guess you didn't see the part I put in bold print.

TTerri · ‎02-20-2011

@Love my grandkids wrote:
@TTerri You can't be serious. Can't. Be.

First off, type like an adult and of course I'm serious else I wouldn't have typed it.

QVCkitty1 · ‎05-23-2015

@TTerri wrote:
@QVCkitty1 wrote:

@TTerri wrote:
Sit her down, tell her what's on your mind and if she does threaten to not let you see your granddaughter, let her know you'll see her in court.
I wouldn't suggest court, till I knew both sides.

I guess you didn't see the part I put in bold print.

I'm sorry , but it seems extreme,

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan

sidsmom · ‎11-25-2011

There are always 3 sides to every story.

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

@FuzzyFace You really didn't say why you are having issues but my advice would be that since you can't change what others do and who they are, the only thing you can do is change the way you react to situations. I also have found that so many who complain of in law problems are often part of the problem. Many times those that say they have to walk on eggshells have created their own issues because they are unwilling to accept that their child is now married and their spouse is now their priority.

I also have to add that once you change how you react to her then she may do so also.

libbyannE · ‎10-27-2010

Do not antagonize her with threats of legal action, which someone else suggested. Do tell us what the problem is. No hints from you, so one can only guess. There are usually two sides in these matters. A mother-in-law should be respectful and avoid trying to be involved in the couple’s decisions, methods, whatever. Is that the problem? Forgive me if

I am guessing wrong.