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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,253
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

I'm about ready to thow up my arms in defeat

Does anyone here have a difficult daughter-in-law? I'm about at my wit's end; no matter what I do, I get a ration of shade from her. I'd be just as happy to give up trying to get along with her and do whateverr I want except I want to be able to see my granddaughter.

 

To be clear, she's NEVER threatened to cut off my access, but I'm concerned she might. I guess I'll just have to walk on eggshells with her; I don't like it, but sometimes that's what you have to do to keep peace in the famaily.

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Super Contributor
Posts: 341
Registered: ‎02-20-2011

Re: I'm about ready to thow up my arms in defeat

Sit her down, tell her what's on your mind and if she does threaten to not let you see your granddaughter, let her know you'll see her in court.

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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,368
Registered: ‎08-10-2013

Re: I'm about ready to thow up my arms in defeat

What is it that she does?  You aren't explaining the problem.  A lot of people have problems with their inlaws but it sounds like your problem is threatening to you.

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Regular Contributor
Posts: 188
Registered: ‎10-09-2017

Re: I'm about ready to thow up my arms in defeat

 

TTerri:

"Sit her down, tell her what's on your mind and if she does threaten to not let you see your granddaughter, let her know you'll see her in court".

 

Yes, that's just what one does. Throw fuel on the fire.

 

I have no suggestions FuzzyFace. Life is hard. Best to you Smiley Happy

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,523
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: I'm about ready to thow up my arms in defeat

I totally understand where you are coming from. We all had to walk on eggshells with my dad's wife when they were both living to keep the peace.

She wanted my dad to disown his kids.

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Valued Contributor
Posts: 905
Registered: ‎02-19-2014

Re: I'm about ready to thow up my arms in defeat

I do not have a daughter-in-law but I am a daughter-in-law.  The best thing my mother-in-law can do is realize that she is NOT my mother.  Yes, I married your son but he is now my husband. You have a way to do things at your house and we have ways to do things at our home.  You do not have to walk on eggshells around me but please know that I am not going to walk on them for you, either. It has been my experience that in-laws in general overstep their bounds.

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Posts: 9,777
Registered: ‎05-23-2015

Re: I'm about ready to thow up my arms in defeat

 


@TTerri wrote:

Sit her down, tell her what's on your mind and if she does threaten to not let you see your granddaughter, let her know you'll see her in court.


I wouldn't suggest court, till I knew both sides.

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan
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Regular Contributor
Posts: 249
Registered: ‎09-07-2018

Re: I'm about ready to thow up my arms in defeat

[ Edited ]

@FuzzyFace,I am sorry that you dont have a good relationship with your daughter in law.It can be a wonderful gift in life.That being said.Sometimes you need to let  your desires go.Are your son and granddaughter  well ,healthy is she treating your son well,raising a well adjusted child.As much as it may hurt,you need to not continue your push for  a relationship.It is their life.As for court my husbands aunt tried that ,only to be told they cannot force a son or daughter to allow visiting.She had no rights.The judge told her unless the children are in harm, she could not force  anything.Sometimes we do not see our faults in relationships.Maybe she resents something she may feel from you

It isnt easy to hide feelings in actions.It is sad  but common,Estrangments in familys are often based on not feeling heard or accepted.Maybe sit back let time go by .Perhaps send a family gift,cards.Time apart often can work wonders.Always remember it is her, husband her daughter first. You may need to find a seat further away until invited closer.Just my opinion,everyone is different, fault can be found on both sides...Best wishes, MaryAnne

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,665
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I'm about ready to thow up my arms in defeat

So, here's a different way this situation could go.  I was the DIL when I was young.  My DH and I lived in a mobile home, and my in-laws actually moved in right next door to us!  You may be thinking the worst, but my in-laws were dear people, and my MIL never interfered with us at all.  As a matter of fact, my own mother died when I was only 20, and I was somewhat estranged from my father, so I rather adopted my MIL as my own mom.  Even after my DH and I divorced, I still remained friendly with all my in-laws.

Laura loves cats!
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Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,001
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I'm about ready to thow up my arms in defeat

[ Edited ]

I strongly believe my nephew's wife could be hard to get along with. As long as he gets along with her is all that matters.