How would you handle or not handle a lack of hygie... - Page 6

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Roscoe the Rascal wrote:
He is a big boy but embarrassing too. Maybe he is depressed some as well.

For me my daughter is big busted and half the time doesn't wear a bra. I've been on her about it and finally searching for some new bras. She can flop around home but once she walks out that door put on your bra. Makes her look trashy and I hate it. She said her bras are uncomfortable to wear.

I saw today the Q has a Goddess bra line for bigger busted ladies so have her check those out. I'm thinking it was meant to be.

@Roscoe the Rascal I guess we all have our issues with our kids. That bra sounds interesting, will check it out.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Anonymous032819 wrote:
I would keep my mouth shut. He is an adult, and as such, he can have whatever hygiene that he wants. It's his prerogative.

@Anonymous032819 True,but I hate to see his health being at risk. Gum disease can affect the heart.

BoopOMatic · ‎06-08-2021

@panda1234 I don't blame you for being concerned! That is alarming. I also think you're brave to post about it.

Yes it would be embarrassing to see your grown son appearing so slovenly. I can understand that.

Yes I would definitely say something. It could be affecting his dental health, his career, etc. I would absolutely speak to him about it, tactfully.....if you don't, who will.

I hope things work out for the best....

Desert Lily · ‎06-24-2011

What if you bought your son and your DIL each a top of the line electric toothbrush for Christmas or their anniversary? Give them different colors. If you buy 2, you wouldn't be singling either one out. You could ask them to tell you how well it works because you're considering buying one for yourself, and/or that a friend has that model. That could open the door for mentioning how important dental care is.

Or, you could say something about a sales clerk who had such bad breath that had to be from not brushing her teeth that it offended you.

There are probably a lot of ways to get the point across that aren't direct.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Desert Lily wrote:
What if you bought your son and your DIL each a top of the line electric toothbrush for Christmas or their anniversary? Give them different colors. If you buy 2, you wouldn't be singling either one out. You could ask them to tell you how well it works because you're considering buying one for yourself, and/or that a friend has that model. That could open the door for mentioning how important dental care is.

Or, you could say something about a sales clerk who had such bad breath that had to be from not brushing her teeth that it offended you.

There are probably a lot of ways to get the point across that aren't direct.

@Desert Lily I bought him a beard trimmer last Christmas and he does not use it.

Tigerfish2 · ‎08-24-2020

Has he been to a dentist? Maybe buy him a waterpic at least make an effort to help him recognize there is a problem and he won't have any teeth soon. It's moms job or Dad's and hand him a water pic and dental appointment.asap.

SeaMaiden · ‎03-10-2010

@panda1234 it is out of your control now. He is living on his own and married. Nothing you can or should do.

Duckncover · ‎07-16-2021

If you are describing your son as having Asbergers syndrome, then social cues may be something he misses....he may not be aware everyone else brushes their teeth well, combs their hair, etc. mentioning it may do no good, as he may simply not see it as important. Does his poor hygiene live up to her own standards? If so, and they are happy, not much you can do unless he asks for someone to coach him.

kitty60 · ‎03-13-2010

I usually keep my mouth shut but like many young men these days my son has facial hair and I dislike when it gets "out of control." My usual comment is "you need to be groomed better go the next time the dogs do." He takes it well whenever he is "cleaned up" he tells his wife I'd better notice. I always complement him when he looks good!

manny2 · ‎05-24-2010

@panda1234 wrote:
@kaydee50 wrote:
What does his wife say? How is her hygiene? He's an adult and married so IMO I don't think it's mom's place to say anything. Although if he were my son I would probably tell him he looked like a mess and then let it go.

@kaydee50 his wife is not at all like that, every hair in place. I don't think she has said anything. If it were my husband I would never let him out of the house looking like that.

@panda1234 I wouldn't focus on looking messy. Who cares he has a right to look the way he wants to look. As long as he is clean. Not brushing his teeth is a different story. I would talk to him.

If he has Asperger's he is intelligent. He isn't socially aware, and does not respond to social cues. So if someone is showing aversion he isn't going to read it.

Sometimes people with Asperger's have a sensitivity to taste or smell, so maybe it's as simple as he doesn't like the taste or sensation of toothpaste, so he stopped brushing.

I would ask why he isn't brushing his teeth, and ask what you can do to help. Once you find the problem you can help with the solution.