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12-22-2019 10:07 PM
My sister had no limit with gifts. After the kids opened gifts at home, they really could care less what else they got. These days the financial situation isn't what it once was. The kids are 17 and 20. They seem happy with what they get.
I think there needs to be a limit. Five year old's don't need every toy they ever wanted.
12-22-2019 11:02 PM
My girls are 4 1/2 years apart. When they were young, but, old enough to notice, we would give the same amount of presents, but, not necessarily the same value. It only mattered to them that they got the same amount to open. Stockings contained the same treats in different colors.
As they outgrew Santa, we readjusted the system. I would give them a monetary value, usually $100-$200 and asked them to make a list of things they wanted. The list could be as long as they wanted, but, I'd choose what to buy from it spending their allotted amount. I feel this taught them the value of money as well as the importance of choosing wisely and making sure you really wanted an item on the list. My mother would usually buy something from the list for each of them. My Dad would send money ($10-$20) that I would give to them and we would shop after Christmas or they could save/spend as they wanted. My husband's large family had stopped gift giving due to size and geography. I'm an only child so that was there weren't gifts from others.
Today as adults, I'll ask if there is anything special they'd like. My oldest loves to travel and has a month long trip to Southeast Asia booked for July. Since she has HMO health insurance coverage that is only useful within her state, I asked if she'd like an annual travel insurance policy that covers a varity of things in addition to medical and emergency medical transportation back to the USA. She thought this was a wonderful idea so that is what she got. The other asked for a gift box subscription of beauty products that arrives monthly which turned out to be similar in price to the insurance I got her sister. Done and Done.
12-23-2019 06:53 AM
according to QVC never enough
12-23-2019 07:06 AM
Do you consider how many gifts you’re giving to them or do you have a certain amount of money that you spend on them? My children are ages 9-14. I have a budget which I will spend in total which for the most part is spread equally among them.
How many/much is too many/too much?that is really up to you and your budget.
Do you take into consideration what they may get from other adult family members? I do not take this into consideration. The only think I may take into consideration is if a family member asks what one of the kids want and I give them a suggestion of their list. What I don't like seeing is a family member stressing about what to get my children which is what I'm going through right now with my mother in law. I have 2 teenagers and she has others grandchildren in their teens, money is a perfectly fine gift for them. Unfortunately I can't convince her of this.
And finally, do you think appreciation goes down as the amount (gifts or money spent) goes up? I think depending on the kid there is a point where their appreciation changes. I have seen it with oldest if he receives something he didn't expect his attitude changes.
12-23-2019 10:04 AM
I have one daughter, age 14 We have gone a little bit overboard in the past, but this year not as much. She is the only grandchild on my family's side, so my sister and Mom do "spoil" her once in a while. My MIL always sends a $50 check to buy something for her and I have a very dear friend who sends some little things. We don't exchange with uncles, aunts, etc...and my husbands side of the family. As she gets older, it goes from the toys to, it seems, more expensive items such as airpods and phones so I do take the cost of that into consideration. That's a lot more money than the barbie she used to want. So, yes, the cost goes up because of that and things just cost more. She still makes a Christmas list, even though she doesn't "believe" anymore and I must say this years list was a lot shorter than in past years. Hope that trend continues!
12-23-2019 10:13 AM
I was listening to the radio the other day and the hosts were talking about the "Rule of 3" when gift giving for our kids:
1. Give something they want.
2. Give something they need.
3. Give something to read.
I like that idea and wish I had thought of that long ago. I do take into consideration how much I want to spend and end up buying one or a few gifts to fit that price range.
12-23-2019 10:35 AM
I always went by a budget amount.
Depending on what she wanted some years it bought more, others it bought less.
12-23-2019 11:28 AM
@wildcat fan wrote:I was listening to the radio the other day and the hosts were talking about the "Rule of 3" when gift giving for our kids:
1. Give something they want.
2. Give something they need.
3. Give something to read.
I like that idea and wish I had thought of that long ago. I do take into consideration how much I want to spend and end up buying one or a few gifts to fit that price range.
Looks like you were watching me do some wrapping on Saturday @wildcat fan
12-23-2019 12:30 PM
I'm not going to turn something that should be fun and joyous for me and the kids into something heavy and ponderous that I have "angst over". Like my mom did with all her grandchildren, I'll ask the parents about presents but ONLY to find out what the kids want, what the kids already own and what other people are giving them. I don't want to duplicate things and I don't want to buy something if "Santa" is buying it for them. I'm not going to limit myself to a specific amount or specific number of presents. When it comes to money or gift cards for teens, that is something I will (when that time comes) work out with the parents because they need to weigh in on how much money they want their teen to have. As for appreciation, I don't give gifts to get a thank you. If children are raised well, then they know how to express gratitude when someone gives them something or does something nice for them. If their parents have not instilled that in them from a young age, then that's the situation and I can't do anything about it.
12-23-2019 03:39 PM
@chrystaltree wrote:I'm not going to turn something that should be fun and joyous for me and the kids into something heavy and ponderous that I have "angst over". Like my mom did with all her grandchildren, I'll ask the parents about presents but ONLY to find out what the kids want, what the kids already own and what other people are giving them. I don't want to duplicate things and I don't want to buy something if "Santa" is buying it for them. I'm not going to limit myself to a specific amount or specific number of presents. When it comes to money or gift cards for teens, that is something I will (when that time comes) work out with the parents because they need to weigh in on how much money they want their teen to have. As for appreciation, I don't give gifts to get a thank you. If children are raised well, then they know how to express gratitude when someone gives them something or does something nice for them. If their parents have not instilled that in them from a young age, then that's the situation and I can't do anything about it.
@chrystaltree Thank you for a great answer, the words could have come from my mouth!!! I did that with my kids and now with grandkids. I love surprising them with something totally unexpected and usually something their parents didn't expect too. I do check with parents so we can cordinate just like you do. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and have as much fun as I plan to.
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