Mom to Mom

[emmysmom]

On 1/24/2015 _Not an easy sale said:

Hi Schnauzer Mommy NYC,

I will never understand, if I live to be 100 years old, why young mothers, HAVING BABIES-and ,,,,,,,,then wanting to go to work? The job of being a stay at home mother is ~yes, the most rewarding job, also one of the most difficult undertaking that any woman could Love. I agree with Campion's post #1 .

It is a choice of either -- >24/7 or-9-5...throw in the FREE grandmother WHILE working out, is almost too good, but you will never recover those precious moments that you will definitely miss!

I could not guarantee you another job in today's market..no one could. You are very blessed to have a supported husband who understands. In fact, with a baby, WHILE WORKING, "the cost is more expensive...clothes, meals and travel expenses".

There is enough stress in life without adding more by putting a 'job' first and have little time left left for husband & precious baby. The smartest decision is `that` you have not burned any bridges behind you. That will come later, as a good DECISION from an intelligent employee, later on [IF] you do decide to ever take on the task in working outside the home.

I AM NOT SPEAKING ABOUT the mom WHO IS DIVORCED OR WIDOWED HAVING TO MAKE DIFFICULT CHOICES AS IN WORKING. I never could understand why any mom or dad would want to have children and let someone else raise them, even grandparents being second parents all day; they have already reared their family and usually end up wanting their life back..(in most situations).

**FLACK::? WHAT?! Why would any one have or send FLACK to a mother wanting to be a full time mom at home?

It's one thing DIFFERENT for an unmarried woman changing jobs, but another set of emotions for any mother with a child or children, with no father- married or not. GOOD LUCK IN YOUR NEW LIFE.

_Naes

My feelings exactly..why have children if someone else is raising them?? You never know whats going on while you're gone..!

[Desertdi]

On 1/24/2015 emmysmom said:

On 1/24/2015 _Not an easy sale said:

Hi Schnauzer Mommy NYC,

I will never understand, if I live to be 100 years old, why young mothers, HAVING BABIES-and ,,,,,,,,then wanting to go to work? The job of being a stay at home mother is ~yes, the most rewarding job, also one of the most difficult undertaking that any woman could Love. I agree with Campion's post #1 .

It is a choice of either -- >24/7 or-9-5...throw in the FREE grandmother WHILE working out, is almost too good, but you will never recover those precious moments that you will definitely miss!

I could not guarantee you another job in today's market..no one could. You are very blessed to have a supported husband who understands. In fact, with a baby, WHILE WORKING, "the cost is more expensive...clothes, meals and travel expenses".

There is enough stress in life without adding more by putting a 'job' first and have little time left left for husband & precious baby. The smartest decision is `that` you have not burned any bridges behind you. That will come later, as a good DECISION from an intelligent employee, later on [IF] you do decide to ever take on the task in working outside the home.

I AM NOT SPEAKING ABOUT the mom WHO IS DIVORCED OR WIDOWED HAVING TO MAKE DIFFICULT CHOICES AS IN WORKING. I never could understand why any mom or dad would want to have children and let someone else raise them, even grandparents being second parents all day; they have already reared their family and usually end up wanting their life back..(in most situations).

**FLACK::? WHAT?! Why would any one have or send FLACK to a mother wanting to be a full time mom at home?

It's one thing DIFFERENT for an unmarried woman changing jobs, but another set of emotions for any mother with a child or children, with no father- married or not. GOOD LUCK IN YOUR NEW LIFE.

_Naes

My feelings exactly..why have children if someone else is raising them?? You never know whats going on while you're gone..!

There is a real challenge getting back into the workplace after you have been gone for a while........and you could end up stuck in minimum wage.

[AnotherView2]

It won't get better. But, don't quit till you have something else. I've made that mistake before and have regretted it each time. My salary usually went down since they figured I might be desperate to get something new (which I was). It's easier to find a decent paying job when you already have one...

When interviewing at any new potential employer, don't bad mouth the current boss since it will be a red flag for the new company. Make up any excuse you have to as to why you are leaving that will be more suitable to a new employer.

[Jump4joy2]

On 1/19/2015 judgejudith said:

Find another job first, Good advice! If the OP NEEDS to work and quits, she will still have financial stress coupled with the stress of financing another job. No easy solution! What is the husband's opinion? then quit. Always easier to get a job when you already have a job!

< Good advice! If OP quits the job, she could encounter financial stress, coupled with the stress of finding another job. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush!

[Jump4joy2]

On 1/26/2015 AnotherView2 said:

It won't get better. But, don't quit till you have something else. I've made that mistake before and have regretted it each time. My salary usually went down since they figured I might be desperate to get something new (which I was). It's easier to find a decent paying job when you already have one...

When interviewing at any new potential employer, don't bad mouth the current boss since it will be a red flag for the new company. Make up any excuse you have to as to why you are leaving that will be more suitable to a new employer.

Totally agree with your comments and suggestions!

[Jump4joy2]

On 1/24/2015 CalmInTheHeart said:

I can only dream of raising my kids, being a stay at home mom. We needed the money. And then my husband deserted us. I raised these kids and they are great. Working or not, a good parent still raises their kids. I was always appalled at people who thought it was a disgrace for me to work. Sometimes life takes turns you don't expect. Parents who are worth anything will find ways to make things work.

My sons are now grown. Both are highly educated, smart, in dependent, and incredible men. One is married, one has a serious GF. One is a Captain and Special Ops in the Army. One is a therapist working with addicts and those with mental illness as a result of addiction.

You can raise your kids and work. But if you have enough family income and you can stay home, that's good too. Why do people insinuate that either is bad?

Be proud of the great job you did. Certainly, it was not easy -- but you proved it can be done!

[hyacinth003]

My first priority would be my baby.

If you could stay home for awhile with the baby, that's what I would do. You NEVER get that time back with a baby. Jobs can come and go.

If there is true financial hardship if you don't work (and get rid of extras!) you will probably have to leave. I would have another job already if you have financial necessity.

Remember that your mother-in-law doesn't have to commit her life for years to take care of YOUR child! She could decide at any time that enough is enough and she could decide not to babysit anymore.

My mother warned me she would NOT be a babysitter, and my mother-in-law was too far away IF she wanted to babysit (she did NOT). As a nurse, I worked weekends and my husband worked Mon-Fri. It was really tough, but there was always a PARENT with my child. I don't regret that decision, EVER.

Best to you!

Hyacinth

[KateE]

I know I'm late on my reply, but I thought I could offer words of wisdom, twenty-six years at a job that I thought was my worse nightmare. I still work at this job and for three men who are controlling, overbearing and their bad day is mine. They believe women belong at home barefoot and pregnant, I know I've rolled my eyes quite a few times when they say this but I've learned you cannot change others, only yourself and it's how you approach matters, that really matter. You can quit but who's to say it won't be worse somewhere else, then what. I have looked at my own circumstances working for them and saw it as a challenge, if I could overcome what came at me then I could work for anyone and their temperament would never affect me. It's not easy, but I learned that letting it go through out the day was far better for me and worth the effort. You cannot make someone who is full of themselves change for you but you can look at it differently and see the potential for greatness in yourself.

I wish you the best of luck on whatever you decided.

[Stray]

I don't know your capabilities or economic picture. I have had nightmare bosses throughout my career but never left a job because of him/her. You stated you had no HR Department but every Company has some process for handling situations such as yours...an .onbudsman? I was fortunate and had a process that worked for me. But, if you are so stressed out, that is not good for you....I am sure your baby is doing fine with your MIL so don't feel guilty. Obviously you are working because you must or you would stay at home with your baby. I would approach the subject with your boss or your boss's superior...what do you have to lose? I would also look for a Company that allows work from home. I don't know your location but I am in NYC where work from home is common place for men and women with young families

[Hellodemocrat]

So sorry. Look for another job. When u find it, after you give notice there write a letter to the people above her and tell them exactly what is going on and that is why you are leaving. Maybe they will ask other employees their opinions. Good luck.