Mom to Mom

[Skyegirl21]

SMNYC, If your family needs the income, I would not quit until I had another job lined up. If not, then yes- quit.

OR, you could play it passive-aggressive with this boss, until you get something else (of course be actively applying elsewhere).

Say yes, to her, but do your work relaxed and be done at the end of the work day- until you get another job. Don't do beyond what is normal expectation. Try to Ignore control attempts. In other words- be a slacker until you find something else (lol).

Can you go to Human Resources to talk to them (she sounds like anyone's worst nightmare)?

Wishing it turns around soon for you-

[Campion]

It's so sad today to read a sentence (not unusual) " need to see the numbers as I don't want to put stress on my husband to be the sole earner."

What about the stress on you and the baby? It's a full time job with an infant, the infant needs constant care--the brain is totally being wired from age 0 to 3 (my late husband's project with a state government health department. They researched how much is needed for an infant to learn and thrive. It's all happening for the baby at that age--literally the brain is being formed.)

If the numbers work, you may be better off at home. Fears? Worry? If you can make it work, your baby and husband will have the care they need. I know it's politically incorrect these days to suggest that a woman with an infant is stressed by working outside the home at the same time, and you are lucky to have a MIL to do daycare but she's in essence the baby's mom. If that's what you want...

[Bigbro]

I feel bad for you very much. It depends on how much your income allows for no paycheck. I left a company after 18 years and was in search of a new job, it took years. I quit many jobs over those years of the search. If your husband is ok with it, than its up to you. My HR is almost 0 in my job too, so I understand. I am working out a problem at work too, thinking about quitting too. I have to out weight things, commute, how can I work the problem out or can I really ? Basically, I have no children so my problem is easy because of no responsibility. My husband too says to quit. I have sat down with many, many managers over my years and it never helps !!! Its sounds like your boss is never satisfied and is control freak. Good luck with your decision. I hope everything works out for you and your family.

[aprilskies]

Just start looking while you are contemplating what to do. Know in your mind you are leaving so go in not caring about you boss but just do the best job possible. If she doesn't like it oh well. It's the best that could have been done. I know that is hard. Take any experience you can from it while you are there. No job is worth your health. Good luck whatever you decide.

[mama2]

Listen to your heart. You have to take care of yourself first and then everything else will fall into place. You sound like you are really hurting right now and that is not good for your family or you.

Step back, take a look, and make a decision. So what if it is wrong. You will be okay.

[ccassaday]

On 1/20/2015 SchnauzerMommyNYC said: Thank you all for your comments. I am moved by all of you taking the time to respond, share your experiences, and offers of support. You give me hope and strength. My decision is to leave when my contract comes up for renewal. This will give me time to continue to save and reorganize and prepare. I will give notice as my conscious would bother me if I didn't. I have a few months to go and as many of you recommended, I will continue to do a good job until I leave so I don't burn bridges with the team. I completely agree that my baby and my health/sanity are more important than being in a toxic environment. The answer has been obvious to me, but the money was a big concern. I grew up poor and worked very hard to build a life. It's scary. I know I'm not alone. I will pray and prepare for my next move to be a positive and fulfilling one. Thank you for saying that if I found this job then I can find another one. My husband and I are going to crunch the numbers this weekend, I'm going to redo my resume and consider looking for part time or freelance work. Thank you to the person that suggested that. I have thought for awhile that maybe it's time to change careers and while my priority is raising my child, I'm going to give more thought to the kind of work I want to do in the future as well. I need something that is family friendly and low key. We don't live lavishly - we don't have cable, rarely eat out, and I only shop QVC around holidays/birthdays for others and even that is on a budget. It took many years to have my baby so we started saving for the baby years ago and cleared up some debts to be ready. I love caring for my child and if there's any way possible, I would love to stay home. However I need to see the numbers as I don't want to put stress on my husband to be the sole earner. That's a conversation we will have in earnest starting today. He has been my rock - wonderful and supportive. Again thank you all for your kindness and generosity of spirit. I will hold onto that while I prepare my exit. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

My sister and our family is or was in a very simular situation. When my nephew was born my mom quit her part time job to help with watching them. As both her kids are a little older now at six and three my sister still works full time but only goes into the office two days a week and every other friday. She takes off the days my neice is in preschool. The freelance . Option sounds great for you. Then you can still be home. Or those times you need to be somewhere your child has a wonderful grandma to watch her. It gives my sister a way to bring money in and spend a tons more time with the kids.

[kivah]

You need to find another job --- but try to find one before u leave this one.

[hopi]

Find another job before you quit

That way it's a win - win

[RedTop]

I ALWAYS follow my gut feelings. I would quit and never look back.

[DoneTryin]

Sorry you've been disappointed. I've been there & understand.

If you can, just quietly start looking for another job. No point in continuing to be so unhappy!

Good luck & take care of yourself!!!!