Mom to Mom

[Meowingkitty]

I had a miserable boss. She was super nice in the interview but after I started working there everyone in the office was horrible. A bunch of women who would kill there own mother to make her happy. The place was mold infested because they had a water leak and I was constantly sick. The boss was always watching me. In fact I was told I could not even speak to my co workers. Not even a good morning. No talking, no going to lunch, not one personal item on my desk, nothing. I started looking for another job the second day there and after five months I gave notice and even that wasn't good enough for her so I packed up my desk and walked.

[queendiva]

I do not think it's appropriate to poll us on whether or not you should quit your job. We have nothing invested in it. Since you asked, I would not let my boss make me so crazy. Do your best to do your job and ignore her in the process. I would not take work home, especially with a husband and baby to love and care for. I think maybe part of why Boss Lady is making you crazy is because she sees that she can. Worst case: you get fired and collect unemployment while looking for new job. Quitting will get you $0.00. You like the money and location at this job. Do not allow anyone to intimidate you out of those things. Take control of your life and focus on you. Best of Luck and hang tough!

[MaryShopper]

I get it. You're being very responsible and that's great, but you know what? Life is too short. Trust your gut and get out as soon as you possibly can. That may not mean being able to walk in tomorrow and quit but just making the decision today that you're leaving will make you feel better. Then get on with it. The decreased salary for a while in a new job will be worth it. I did it. Took a pay cut to get out of the same "I don't want to work here" situation and it was the best move I could have made! You have your husband and baby and you can find a job. It will be okay. I wish you all the best!

[IControlMyHappiness]

I don't know if the original poster will even see this but I also have worked at terrible jobs and for me I start aggressively looking for a job. I apply for everything at my current salary, above and below. I also start paying a little more on my bills so if I have to leave then I am more prepared. Also I try and spend as little money as possible on extras like eating out and shopping. I focus on . My bills so that includes bringing my lunch to work. I know the best revenge is to get another job and leave. Where I worked after I left I heard that the next girl they hired quit in like 4 months. They learned after I was gone that wow it can take longer to replace a good worker. Also don't believe the myth th as t the next job could be worst, most new jobs are good for a while, then things may change later down the road. Good luck

[SaggingGal]

Go. Toxic employers will destroy your self esteem. Narcissist controlling demanding bosses are not an asset to your emotional or physical health. Your family and you will suffer the consequences from you staying in such an unhealthy environment. Start looking for another job now while you are still employed. Explain to new employer you are at a job that is not a good fit for you. Do not bad mout current employer not ever. Just get another job asap. Economy is not bad now. Go.

[SchnauzerMommyNYC]

Hi everyone, I'm the OP and I just wanted to say I'm truly grateful and overwhelmed by the responses here and such great advice. I had no idea that the question I posed in January would still be answered. I'm here to share an update... I left that job a few weeks after my post. My husband was very supportive and once I got passed Day 1 of "what do I do now?" I was completely fine and at peace. Lots of prayer, meditation and just resting and being at home with my child. My former colleagues told me I was brave and strong to stand up for myself and leave. They called periodically to say hello and ask how I was feeling/doing and to tell me my boss spiraled into insanity after I left. Thank goodness I left when I did. No job is worth all that stress and unhappiness. Around the same time, a friend who didn't know what happened reached out and asked if I'd participate in a 21 day wellness program with her. It was free and I said yes! Taking time for myself during the program helped me to realize I needed to do more self care so that I could be good to myself and others. I put so much into that job that I put myself on the back burner and my family too. It was a great program and I got support from the ladies in the group as well. They were are going through some sort of season in their life and it was great to hear their stories of progress and triumph. Very inspiring. I decided to restructure my life so I had time to breathe and relax. I actually schedule "me time" every week and it's not long but sometimes a bubble bath or an hour of reading something positive or taking a walk in fresh air. I feel rejuvenated and my outlook is better than ever! The time at home with my baby was precious and amazing. I will treasure it! I love being a mom and I do have to work. My MIL is retired and truly wants to help any way she can. I'm very fortunate to have her support. She worked and raised her kids and understands. I'm lucky to have her! Once I healed myself from the negativity, I set the intention of finding a job that would be a better fit. I made a wish list from location to kind of people I want to be around. I prayed and meditated on that and then set about job searching. My previous fear about not being able to find a job never came true because I got numerous calls for interviews! I had to beat them off with a stick LOL having multiple opportunities renewed my confidence and I chose the best job for me. My family is happy and thriving and I'm so very glad that I stepped out of a bad situation and found something wonderful. I'm sharing this update to say a very sincere thank you to everyone that cared enough to read and/or respond. I am humbled. I have tears in my eyes. Thank you so very much! I hope this gives hope to someone else in my shoes. God bless & Happy Mothers Day to you all.

[Venezia]

It's so nice when someone takes the time to post an update. Congratulations on your decision and your new job. Continued good luck in the future!

[redngold]

On 1/24/2015 _Not an easy sale said:

Hi Schnauzer Mommy NYC,

I will never understand, if I live to be 100 years old, why young mothers, HAVING BABIES-and ,,,,,,,,then wanting to go to work? The job of being a stay at home mother is ~yes, the most rewarding job, also one of the most difficult undertaking that any woman could Love. I agree with Campion's post #1 .

It is a choice of either -- >24/7 or-9-5...throw in the FREE grandmother WHILE working out, is almost too good, but you will never recover those precious moments that you will definitely miss!

I could not guarantee you another job in today's market..no one could. You are very blessed to have a supported husband who understands. In fact, with a baby, WHILE WORKING, "the cost is more expensive...clothes, meals and travel expenses".

There is enough stress in life without adding more by putting a 'job' first and have little time left left for husband & precious baby. The smartest decision is `that` you have not burned any bridges behind you. That will come later, as a good DECISION from an intelligent employee, later on [IF] you do decide to ever take on the task in working outside the home.

I AM NOT SPEAKING ABOUT the mom WHO IS DIVORCED OR WIDOWED HAVING TO MAKE DIFFICULT CHOICES AS IN WORKING. I never could understand why any mom or dad would want to have children and let someone else raise them, even grandparents being second parents all day; they have already reared their family and usually end up wanting their life back..(in most situations).

**FLACK::? WHAT?! Why would any one have or send FLACK to a mother wanting to be a full time mom at home?

It's one thing DIFFERENT for an unmarried woman changing jobs, but another set of emotions for any mother with a child or children, with no father- married or not. GOOD LUCK IN YOUR NEW LIFE.

_Naes

I agree with this 1000%!!

Why have children if you're going to turn them over to the babysitter or daycare provider to raise? Does the woman feel she's replaceable to her child? Does she think a sitter will love her child the way she does?

[drizzellla]

So glad to hear how things are going SchnauzerMommy. And that things worked out so well for you. That is what is scary - you don't know what the future holds for you. Thrilled that things moved in the right direction. Enjoy your baby and new job.

[icezeus]

On 5/9/2015 SchnauzerMommyNYC said: Hi everyone, I'm the OP and I just wanted to say I'm truly grateful and overwhelmed by the responses here and such great advice. I had no idea that the question I posed in January would still be answered. I'm here to share an update... I left that job a few weeks after my post. My husband was very supportive and once I got passed Day 1 of "what do I do now?" I was completely fine and at peace. Lots of prayer, meditation and just resting and being at home with my child. My former colleagues told me I was brave and strong to stand up for myself and leave. They called periodically to say hello and ask how I was feeling/doing and to tell me my boss spiraled into insanity after I left. Thank goodness I left when I did. No job is worth all that stress and unhappiness. Around the same time, a friend who didn't know what happened reached out and asked if I'd participate in a 21 day wellness program with her. It was free and I said yes! Taking time for myself during the program helped me to realize I needed to do more self care so that I could be good to myself and others. I put so much into that job that I put myself on the back burner and my family too. It was a great program and I got support from the ladies in the group as well. They were are going through some sort of season in their life and it was great to hear their stories of progress and triumph. Very inspiring. I decided to restructure my life so I had time to breathe and relax. I actually schedule "me time" every week and it's not long but sometimes a bubble bath or an hour of reading something positive or taking a walk in fresh air. I feel rejuvenated and my outlook is better than ever! The time at home with my baby was precious and amazing. I will treasure it! I love being a mom and I do have to work. My MIL is retired and truly wants to help any way she can. I'm very fortunate to have her support. She worked and raised her kids and understands. I'm lucky to have her! Once I healed myself from the negativity, I set the intention of finding a job that would be a better fit. I made a wish list from location to kind of people I want to be around. I prayed and meditated on that and then set about job searching. My previous fear about not being able to find a job never came true because I got numerous calls for interviews! I had to beat them off with a stick LOL having multiple opportunities renewed my confidence and I chose the best job for me. My family is happy and thriving and I'm so very glad that I stepped out of a bad situation and found something wonderful. I'm sharing this update to say a very sincere thank you to everyone that cared enough to read and/or respond. I am humbled. I have tears in my eyes. Thank you so very much! I hope this gives hope to someone else in my shoes. God bless & Happy Mothers Day to you all.

I am happy to hear that you were able to do what was best for you and your family.

Happy Mothers Day!