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01-19-2015 10:01 PM
I was a stay at home Mom until our youngest was eleven. My husband is self employed and I have always worked with him in his business and then worked in the "outside world" for twelve years until that job expired. Also worked before the children were born.
My joy was being home with and raising our two boys. No job could keep me away from them. We managed our finances accordingly and never looked back. Best decision of our lives was to raise our own children.
When I did go back to work, it was a dream job and the first few years were wonderful and rewarding. But as my boss grew older, her demands became greater and she made the work environment toxic. She was also trying to desperately sell the business. She sold the business six months after I left but not before she alienated customers and staff....which was too bad.
IMHO...no job is worth that kind of stress. I should know....I stayed too long. The emotional and physical stress was intolerable. Your child needs you well and happy to say nothing of your beloved husband.
Follow your heart. You will make the right decision.
01-19-2015 10:05 PM
01-19-2015 10:05 PM
01-19-2015 10:09 PM
01-19-2015 10:10 PM
01-20-2015 01:09 AM
On 1/19/2015 Jabberjaw said:I was also going to ask for clarification on the timeline. OP must have started working there at the end of a pregnancy, took a pregnancy leave (which was probably a very short leave?) and has had a hard time with her boss ever since. I wanted to ask more about this because 2-3 month post parted wreak havoc on your hormones and emotions. You are going to be more sensitive, and emotional, and (in my experience) borderline psychotic at times! I am not saying that this is a good place for you to work - Not at all. But you and only you know what will work for your family right now. Your husband sounds like he doesn't want you to quit until you've lined up another job and I think you should follow his advice, because after having a baby is not always the best time to make life-changing decisions. This is a decision for a husband and wife - none of us know how demanding your boss is, amd how many months your family can afford to survive on one income, how the boss insulted you and your baby... So I'm not offering an opinion at all, other than sit down with your husband, figure out your budget, and figure out where you can afford to be out if work for (potentially) a year or more depending on your field and how competitive it is. Good luck!Maybe I am missing something here, but you say you have only been on the job for a few months, yet she insulted you while you were pregnant. Were you pregnant when you started the job and did they know that you would be taking off at least 6 weeks within the first few months of your new job?
No, I wouldn't stay in a toxic job, but if you were not forthright with your pregnancy when you started the job, this might be the reason for some of the animosity. However, a gap of a few months in your resume can easily be explained...especially if you are a new mom...leave!
01-20-2015 01:34 AM
From my personal experience, I have found that when I felt like a job or situation was wrong and it was causing me stress I have always listened to my gut and left, and almost always it felt like a ton of bricks were lifted off of my shoulders after I left and things improved in my life. Life is short, it's just not worth it to stay somewhere you are miserable. I agree with the poster who said your child should be priority number one. Money comes and money goes, family does not. LEAVE.
01-20-2015 02:09 AM
I have not read all of the above posts so perhaps I will be repeating what someone else has already suggested.
First of all, I would start documenting EVERYTHING that is inappropriate or illegal for her to say or do to you. Consult an attorney---see if you have a harassment case based on what she said about you and about your baby. Did anyone else hear it?
I have learned over the years to trust your gut. It is usually correct and doesn't "analyze" like the brain does.
If upper management has not acted upon her past behaviors, then most likely they aren't going to do so at any time in the future. I have seen many times where someone was in a similar situation as you, and they tried to make it work, only to be let go. It is always better to leave on your terms than to be terminated.
Having your husband suggest you leave this job is a major positive in your favor. His support will be so welcomed and needed when you make your decision.
I have also learned over the years that money isn't always the answer to everything. Stress is a major contributor to many physical ailments and can also negatively influence your home environment. Are those worth it?
Apparently you have a work history, as you said "I have never left a job this quickly before". When you have an interview, just explain that the job and you just did not "fit together". Do not criticize or be negative about your present job. Something like "I learned many skills such as .................during my time at ........... and those same skills will be useful in this position. I feel that this position and I will be a better fit....... Something like that.
Saving your money in the event of not having a job is a very, very wise thing to do.
I feel for you. I am now retired and I do not miss the politics of most working environments. Life is too short to wake up every morning and dread going to a place where you spend 8+ hours a day.
01-20-2015 07:54 AM
01-20-2015 08:09 AM
If this job is causing you so much stress, why stay? Start looking for another job. You don't need anyone to tell you that the way you are being treated is wrong. As others have commented, documents all incidents. Ask yourself is the money worth it? Only you can answer that question.
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