HELP!!! 5 year old and bad behavior - Page 4

brandiwine · ‎03-11-2010

@gmkb wrote:
I am probably going to take a lot of heat for this opinion, but I truly believe that most of the discipline problems with children (especially very young children) are a result of parenting rather than the child.

Children require structure, consistency, affection, calm guidance, attention, respect and kindness, among other things.

You mention a single mom with a five month old. This tells me there are things going on in this home that are probably unsettling and upsetting to the five year old. It is good the mom is seeking help for the child, but she needs to seek help for herself to understand how she might be a major part of the problem.

ITA! Parents need to start parenting, no trying to be their kids friends. It's hard work.

RoseGraham · ‎06-27-2017

exactly

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

Still, to this day, I can't figure out why we did what we were told. Including my mom cutting my hair and giving me those dreadful Lilt permanents. She had that pink package ready, and as soon as I came home after school, I went over and sat down. I can still smell the strong odor...........Why didn't I insist that I didn't want my beautiful hair cut or that curly permanent, and that the odor was way too strong, etc., etc. ??

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

Oh, good grief the child is 5 years old and we don't know what the situation is at home. She was an only child for a very long time, it's not unusual that she's still trying to adjust to the new baby. It's possible that she started kindergarten and that's affecting her behavior too. I totally object to the terms "bad behavior" and "discipline" and I hope mom is not listening to anything you have to say on the subject. Mom should indeed see a behavioral specialists to figure out what's going on with her little girl and get some advice and guidance.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

5 yr old kids don't misbehave to misbehave. They are often seeking attention and it's the only way they get it. Or the parent needs to parent. It started long before age 5 if it's a problem now. Good parenting is needed now or it'll be out of control by teens.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

When a 5 year old acts out it is often because of frustration that they are not being heard. Also they are only 5....often times this kind of behavior a child just grows out of.

I wouldn't worry about it. Just be consistent in discipline. Don't say yes one day and the next day no. Most of all listen to your 5 year old. Often times children are frustrated because we are doing two different things at once and not really listening...

corita · ‎08-20-2012

@ROMARY wrote:
Still, to this day, I can't figure out why we did what we were told. Including my mom cutting my hair and giving me those dreadful Lilt permanents. She had that pink package ready, and as soon as I came home after school, I went over and sat down. I can still smell the strong odor...........Why didn't I insist that I didn't want my beautiful hair cut or that curly permanent, and that the odor was way too strong, etc., etc. ?
----------------------
So were our mothers sisters??? My mother and I had stick straight hair. My mother gave me so many of those horrible smelling perms. My lucky dad had beautiful wavy hair. He would come home from work and complain about the scent that wafted all through the house.
I specifically remember one time, I had the perm that morning but later on....a good friend invited me to go swimming. Of course, my hair got wet and good-by perm!! Boy, was I in trouble!!!

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@gmkb wrote:
I am probably going to take a lot of heat for this opinion, but I truly believe that most of the discipline problems with children (especially very young children) are a result of parenting rather than the child.

Children require structure, consistency, affection, calm guidance, attention, respect and kindness, among other things.

You mention a single mom with a five month old. This tells me there are things going on in this home that are probably unsettling and upsetting to the five year old. It is good the mom is seeking help for the child, but she needs to seek help for herself to understand how she might be a major part of the problem.

I agree, and will add that CONSISTENCY is essential.

A parent cannot allow something one day, then not the next. If the rule is the rule, or the expected behavior is today, it is every day, all day no exceptions.

Being consistent is very hard work, and will wear a parent down with a head strong child, but must be done. They have much more energy than we do, and the parent must have resolve to see it all the way through.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@CalminHeart wrote:
@dex wrote:
I never punished my son instead used discipline to teach.There was no yelling or grudges or loss of affection.We had unconditional love and he knew it.I wanted him to grow up choosing to do the correct behavior and not just because he feared me finding out.We discussed everything and sometimes as he got older there were things I was surprised he would talk to me about.I love that son of mine and the close adult relationship we have to this day.He was an extremely difficult child whose grandparents always thought needed a good spanking but I don't believe in that method.

Punish...discipline. Semantics. But I get what you mean.

I've had discussions with other parents about 'punish' 'dicscipline' and 'consequences'.

They are all one in the same, in my book. I'm not talking specifically what kind or how severe, but the bottom line is all actions have consequences, and usually bad or inappropriate behavior or actions have negative consequences that do indeed punish or discipline a person, regardless of the age.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

I will add that I disagree with posters who say the negative behavior should simply be ignored.

When that is done, they simply continue and it effects those around them (teachers, other children, people in public places that shouldn't be expected to tolerate such outbursts, etc.).

I'm tired of being exposed to children (and adults for that matter) who think throwing a tantrum long enough and hard enough will get them the result they want, because the parent eventually gives in or doesn't administer consequences for that behavior.

Most often, ignoring is the same as accepting the behavior.