Frustrated...how to get the allergy point across - Page 2

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@colliegirls wrote:
@Carmie wrote:
The next time your GD receives a food item containing nuts, the gift should be refused and the giver advised that the item can not be accepted as it is poison to your GD and will cause sickness and possible death. The giver will get the idea.

I have worked with people who have refused to believe that food allergies can cause severe reactions. They made light of a very serious problem. I sometimes can't understand their behavor.
A simple " thank you but I am allergic" is enough. Having an allergy is no excuse to be rude. There are so many allergies these days, it may be hard for the gift giver to keep up with who has what.

Oops, I just read my comment and it does sound rude. I am not suggesting that anyone should be rude, but family who are close enough to give a gift should be aware that foods that contain nuts can not be eaten or accepted. The OP stated that these people were told and should be well aware of the allergy.

A friend of mind almost died on the streets of Wash DC because he popped a piece of chocolate candy in his mouth that must have contained a trace amount of nuts while visiting the area for a weekend.

People just stepped right over him and never stopped to help. Finally a police officer happened by and called and ambulance. Some allergies are not so serious, but an allergy to nuts is VERY serious. It doesn't take long for death to occur after ingesting nuts if you don't get help right away.

It is way beyond rude to forget someone has a serious allergy and give them an item that could kill them.

i have Celiac disease and people forget all of the time. I get invited to dinner and I am served pasta. I just politely explain again that I can't eat it. Wheat won't cause me to go into shock and possibly die, so it's not that big of a deal, but a nut allergy is very different.

pugsmom · ‎03-28-2010

Nut allergies are quite serious, so it is important for anyone who is in charge of your granddaughter to be responsible for checking all of her food. That includes you and your daughter, your son-in-law, her teacher, and her babysitter. I think it is expecting a lot to think that friends and other more distant family members should be held accountable for remembering the details of her allergies. As she gets older, she will not always be with those who will take charge of the situation, and she will have to do it herself. Hopefully by then she will do everything necessary to keep herself safe.

I also do not see it necessary to be rude when someone who is not involved in her day to day care gives her a treat that contains nuts or nut products. Some of the suggestions given here are just down right unnecessary.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@pugsmom wrote:
Nut allergies are quite serious, so it is important for anyone who is in charge of your granddaughter to be responsible for checking all of her food. That includes you and your daughter, your son-in-law, her teacher, and her babysitter. I think it is expecting a lot to think that friends and other more distant family members should be held accountable for remembering the details of her allergies. As she gets older, she will not always be with those who will take charge of the situation, and she will have to do it herself. Hopefully by then she will do everything necessary to keep herself safe.

I also do not see it necessary to be rude when someone who is not involved in her day to day care gives her a treat that contains nuts or nut products. Some of the suggestions given here are just down right unnecessary.

The OP wrote that all of the friends and family were told that this child is allergic to tree nuts, they were also shown pictures of her in the ER. They were also reminded before each holiday to read labels before giving her a product with tree nuts and they still are giving her tree nut products?

She was asking how to get it across to these people not to give her GD items that contain tree nuts. I still stand by my suggestion to just return the items back to he giver and say, thanks, but no thanks. I feel so sorry for this child, who I understand is around 3-4 years old. How sad that she gets gifts that she can't use. People who continue to give her gifts of foods with tree nuts that were told not to are beyond rude and uncaring.

People who don't know her GD well enough or were not told of her allergy are understandably excused.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

Thankfully, I never had to deal with this type of problem with my children----but have dealt with it for myself for nearly 30 years.

Growing up, I never heard about food allergies, or knew anyone who had them. My parents just thought I had a nervous stomach that sent me running to the bathroom a lot. In my early 30's, I learned of my numerous food allergies and food intolerances. All that good, healthy stuff my parents pushed me to eat as a child caused allergic reactions---thankfully none were life threatening. Milk, egg whites, and citrus are the highest offenders allergy wise, but my system cannot tolerate mushrooms, olives, soy sauce, and numerous other things.

What has worked for me, and made my life better, has been to not eat anyone else's food, period. I made it clear to all my family and friends that I don't want you to feed me! I don't accept invitations to eat at anyone's house--even family, I don't attend church dinners, I didn't participate with functions at work, and I've learned to stick to eating my proven list of safe foods.

My advice is to make it clear to your family they are not to feed this child; it will be easier for them to remember they are not to feed her, period, rather than try to remember what is a safe treat. Teach your granddaughter not to accept any food or treat from anyone except you, or her parents. This serious issue requires building responsibility in your granddaughter from an early age. My mother cannot remember my food allergies, and still tries to push banana pudding at me.

Nataliesgramma · ‎03-28-2015

I guess I feel that they don't take an allergy serious.....or know about cross contamination.They think a "little bit won't hurt"....

My hubby's sister made a batch of cookies especially for Natalie with no nuts and was so proud she remembered she can't eat nuts...HOWEVER

she had just made a prior batch with nuts and the same rolling pin and the same cookie sheet without washing them......

She was shocked that we wouldn't let her eat any of them........Had I not seen that she baked the other cookies with nuts prior to the ones without........Natalie would have had a reaction.

We ALWAYS carry an epi pen

susan kay · ‎06-28-2011

Very scary and very sad that your family won't iisten. Maybe you and your daughter need to take it up a notch, and instead of smiling and thanking them for the candy while letting them know you have to give it away, why don't you hand the candy back to them, AGAIN remind them of the allergy, and ask them to give it to someone who won't have a severe reaction by eating it!

KarenQVC · ‎05-13-2010

Trying to educate the people around you is a lost cause. They are not responsible. Just have a rule your grandaughter can't eat without your prior approval and always carry snacks. Be gracious or you will be a PITA.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

Until someone deals with this type of severe allergy, they do not comprehend the seriousness, nor grasp all the intricate details of how they can transfer these allergens thru cross contamination.

I think you have to completely remove extended family from the picture and make it clear they are not to feed your granddaughter, period. As much as you would like to have the support of extended family, you are expecting a lot from these people, and placing them in positions of liability.

Above all, teach your granddaughter to be responsible from this very young age to never accept any food from people who do not know her circumstances.

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

One of my granddaughters has tree nut allergies. All of us close relatives know this. My daughter is very strict about making sure gifts, snacks, etc. are OK. Of course the school knows about it too. When in doubt we just throw it out. If people who are informed ignore the importance of tree nut allergies, we have no guilty conscience about their knowing we threw their stuff away. Maybe they'll get it right the next time.

Chrystaltree2 · ‎12-08-2014

This sounds weird and dangerous to me, I don't think a resposible parent would "try to get the point across". Nut and peanut allerges are common now, my little grandneice is allergic to peanuts and nuts as was her dad. Their parents didn't trust anyone to understand and be super vigilant. My little niece was at my house for Christmas and her parents brought her meal and her snacks and her candy with them. I made cookies and her mom looked at my recipe before she let little one eat them. I didn't have nuts around but parents weren't going to just trust me and the other guests, even though they did trust me. The other families I know who have this problem live the same way. Yes, you tell people but keeping your child safe is your responsibility and that means taking safe foods and snacks everywhere you go.....even to birthday parties and cookouts and picnics. So what if unthinking relatives buy snacks she can't have. Maybe they forget, maybe they don't really understand. It shouldn't matter if her parents read labels and then throw out or give away anything she can't have. It makes more sense for you to tell friends and relatives to NOT buy any foods or snacks for her due to her allergies.