Mom to Mom

[violann]

My take may be just a little bit different, ignore me if it works for you and consider it if it helps.

My husband, whom I Love with all my heart, and I, and also my sons and their wonderful wives, are all dragging along right now, the kids all working, probably too much, the Spouse and I trying to be in too many places at once, and all this during appallingly unpleasant weather and on and on and on and on.

I bought Valentines for the babies and some cards for early February birthdays, and SOME YEARS, I can pull off the whole nine yards, but this wasn’t one of them. I literally forgot the cards I sometimes send to DH and the immediate family and the babies’ Valentines and gifties weren’t delivered Thursday, so they’ll be delivered today.

What I got back? SWEETNESS instead of “sweets”. DH got through the snow to bring me a supermarket plant (that will most likely expire) and no mushy paper card, and slobbery kisses from the grandchild whom we babysit and adorable photos of the others. Supper out, nothing fancy. Both of my sons are married to the best DILs I could possibly have, everyone is serious illness FREE. SWEETNESS to the MAX.

So I’m sitting here with my first cup of coffee and thinking what I DO HAVE is really enough to beat what didn’t get here on Thursday. Sometimes Valentine’s Day is sort of EVERY DAY.

[SeaMaiden]

@corvettesandy     Give just to give.... do not give and expect anything in return.  If you can not do this....DO NOT GIVE AT ALL.  Otherwise you will always be disappointed. 

My philosophy for live is  to NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING.  That way I am never disappointed and if I do receive anything... I am pleasantly surprised.

[Sweet Caroline 1]

@corvettesandy Valentines Day is about LOVE!  Lovers love, family love, friendship love, and secret love.  Giving cards is a sweet and loving thing to do.  Giving candy or flowers is very special.  I wish you a HAPPY BELATED VALENTINES DAY!      Give yourself a special day and find a gentle way to tell your husband that you were hoping to get a card and candy.  Also tell him that he missed out on a night of special love  .  Love, SC

[NicksmomESQ]

 @corvettesandy  You sound like a sweet sensitive person. The problem I think is that Valentines Day means different things to different people at different times in their lives.

  Your Kids are basically focusing on their spouses.When my son was little we focused on him as well as us. Now he celebrates with his girlfriend & DH & I celebrate together.

  I think your gripe should be with your husband. He should  have remembered Valentines Day, period.

 Don’t get me wrong it’s nice that you remembered everyone.But your kids focus on Valentines Day was in another direction.I wouldn’t be upset with them. If they remember you on Christmas, Your birthday & mother’s day you should count your blessings & move on.

[chrystaltree]

Good grief, it sounds like you confused Valentines Day with Christmas.  Unbelievable, I've never heard of anyone doing all that for little ole Valentine's Day.  My husband and I exchange cards and small gifts.  That's it.  My girls are 30ish with husbands.  Don't know why I would give them or my grandchildren Valentine's Day gifts when Christmas was just 6 weeks ago and we're looking foward to birthdays, anniversaries, holidays.  Plenty of gift giving is before us.  I do believe that since YOU do all that for THEM and they do not reciprocate; they don't see Valentine's Day the way you do.  What you do is just too much for them.  It's what YOU do but it is not family tradition.  Sinc it doesn't make you happy, stop.  Next year, give your husband a card and a week before, remind him that Valentine's Day is a week away and you expect to be remembered.  I love my guy with all my heart, he's generous to a fault.  But he's a guy.  He gives me a card and a small gift (it was chocolates this year) because a week before....I text him.  

[LilacTree]

we do Christmas and birthdays . . . That’s it.

[vacationday]

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@corvettesandy wrote:

Hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day.  Mine was a little sad and I'm wondering what I am doing wrong and if anyone else feels like this.  Yesterday was Valentine's Day, got my husband a nice card.  Received nothing! Got my son & wife a gift card to go out for dinner and the grandkids gift cards and some games and made them chocolate covered strawberries, got nothing.  Got daughter and her husband gift card to go out for supper and sent the grandchildren each a check, got a Valentine card from the grandchildren that my daughter sent and will probably get her card today, it didn't come yesterday.  Both children are doing great and not in need of anything.  Never forget any of them for any holidays or give them money when they go on vacation. Just really makes me feel bad.  Would like some suggestions of this has happened to you and what you did.  I don't want any gifts, just maybe a card.  

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You have a bunch of ingrates for relatives.  I'd give to complete strangers next year...the needy and the poor who will appreciate your generosity.  @corvettesandy 

[DmDm]

So sorry to read this(((. I believe you should speak to them- that you need attention and that St. Valentine's Day is special for you, this day is not only for lovers. It is sad, but people who are so dear to us usually make us sad. I believe you should talk to your husband at least. I wish you a great St. Valentine's Day next year, dear loving woman with a big heart! 

[Gayle2]

Each year of our marriage, we decide how we are going to celebrate a holiday ahead of time.   Some years, high budget, other years just cards.   I think that since we are retired we have kind of simplified but by figuring it out ahead of time there are no surprises and no disappointments and best of all we are on the same page. 

[Brisky]

You deserve a thank you. I would only focus on your husband next year.