Mom to Mom

[corvettesandy]

Hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day.  Mine was a little sad and I'm wondering what I am doing wrong and if anyone else feels like this.  Yesterday was Valentine's Day, got my husband a nice card.  Received nothing! Got my son & wife a gift card to go out for dinner and the grandkids gift cards and some games and made them chocolate covered strawberries, got nothing.  Got daughter and her husband gift card to go out for supper and sent the grandchildren each a check, got a Valentine card from the grandchildren that my daughter sent and will probably get her card today, it didn't come yesterday.  Both children are doing great and not in need of anything.  Never forget any of them for any holidays or give them money when they go on vacation. Just really makes me feel bad.  Would like some suggestions of this has happened to you and what you did.  I don't want any gifts, just maybe a card.  

[dex]

@corvettesandy I never expect anything so I am not disappointed.I think our children feel that isn’t a day to gift parents.I would be disappointed if I wasn’t remembered on my birthday or mother’s day though.I always gave valentines gifts to my son when he was little and I continue now to gift him and his wife.If I didn’t hear a thank you from them I might stop because I would feel it wasn’t appreciated, but I don’t expect them to send cards or gifts for valentines.It is supposed to be a sweetheart day....not mother’s day.

[ValuSkr]

I agree with @dex   Valentine's Day is meant for sweethearts.  Hallmark invented other holidays for mothers and children.  I'd cool it on cards and gifts for others and focus on DH.

[queendiva]

 I agree that my DSs don't think this is a day to acknowledge Mom. They each have SOs of their own.

IMO your hubby messed up big time. You need to ask him why he did not remember you on V day. No excuse! He may say he does not like it, made up holiday, etc: too bad. You must tell him that you were disappointed and why.

I suggest that next year on that holiday you give the grands a little treat and give nothing to your adult children; a card if you must. It appears that you have spoiled them over time, and this is the result: expectation on their parts. Or maybe they were just busy? Either way, I think your gifting may be a bit over the top. 

I sent one DS a text, which he returned. Other DS & DDIL- bought them Valentines cupcakes and treats for the dog. No response, but none was expected. I just happened to be at their house to walk the dog and they are taking me out to a concert tomorrow night- my Christmas gift.

Sorry this happened to you. Only one thing to do, and that's treat yourself. Enjoy!

[haddon9]

I understand that you just want to feel acknowledged and loved...who doesn't?  As for your kids well as others have mentioned I hope they remember Mother's Day & your birthday.

As for your DH I would let him know just how you feel.  Make sure he really knows....I had to do this with my own DH years ago.  Now he knows that I like a card ....it's the least he can do.  For many years now he also brings me roses and he surprised me with an engraved heart charm for my Pandora bracelet last night.  I really wasn't expecting anything like that.

However you have to let him know how you feel or you'll probably get the same next year.  I know from experience.

[barb40]

I think Valentine's day is for everyone...However, your adult children are married, with their own Sweethearts.  I did not send my parents or adult children a card.  My husband and I exchanged cards, and he cooked a wonderful dinner, we had wine and chocolate dipped strawberries .  I bought my own heart necklace for a gift, lol!   

Your Heart is in the right place, but no one has the same heart as you, so you can't expect them to do the same things you do.  

Did you tell your husband you would like a card from him?

I'm sorry you were sad...

[fluffysmom]

@dex  Same story here.

[Mom2Dogs]

Call me thrifty....I have no kids but do have step children and grand kids as well....it never occurred to me to gift them for valentines day - it just gets way to expensive.....when the kids were little we of course did Easter baskets at Easter time and then when the grands came along we gifted the as well....once they grew older it stopped...I think it just gets out of hand...sorry the OP was disappointed, if hubby usually gifted you with something..at least a card I would also wonder why not this year.

[fthunt]

You have every right to expect a 'little' acknowledgement from 'somebody' in the family - however, it's now time to stop doing what you've been doing.  Send a card to adult children if you wish - - but no more free dinners.  Times & people have changed and you should too.  No more sad "V" days.

[Sunnycorle]

its a hallmark holiday and many people see it that way. cards and gifts with significant other is nice.   i think you are setting yourself up for a fall with all you do.