Mom to Mom

[Marienkaefer2]

On 9/16/2014 ccassaday said: Enjoy being a mom and having the means to stay home. I don't really have any advice as to why your friends are abandoning you.

I agree with this. Life is a series of chapters and you should enjoy the one you're in to the fullest. You're in a new phase of your life now. Instead if looking backward to old friends and activities, look forward to new experiences and joy. Jacqueline Kennedy once said that if you bungle raising your children, not much else you do.in life matters. Meaning, this is the most important and precious role you'll ever have in life. Enjoy it and the other things will fall into place.

[lcmel]

Congratulations on your baby and the decision to stay home for awhile.

Your baby is only 6 weeks, so perhaps family and friends do not want to intrude as they know how time consuming an infant is. As your baby gets older it does get easier with regard to having a bit more time in your schedule. I was able to meet so many new mothers when my first born was an infant and toddler, but it didn't happen as early as 6 weeks. Once your baby is on a more reasonable schedule with less feedings, get out and about. Go to a playground, sign up for a baby music class, take walks with your baby in the neighborhood, strike up a conversation with a new mom in your pediatrician's office. I think you will find that new motherhood will also bring new friends for you and your baby. Just give it time. Best of luck

[Clover29]

I don't think it has anything to do with you being a new mom (congratulations!). It's just how people are. I left my job and moved to a new state; all my friends at my old job said, "Keep in touch!" and I did, but they don't reply half the time and they never initiate anything. That's exactly how it was when I left my previous job, too. I knew not to expect much. People are wrapped up in their own lives. They feel bad for not making time for you, but it doesn't change anything, they never will make the time. The best thing is to get out there and make new friends in a new circle.

[goodstuff]

Congratulations on the new baby and on being able to take time to be a full-time mom while your child is young. What a blessing!

You're still in the first weeks of llving with this tiny little one. While feeding and pumping is keeping you close to home now, that will moderate as the baby grows, nurses less frequently, and as you become more relaxed and comfortable with your new role. There will be many opportunities for socializing and making new friends for you and your child as time passes. Be on the lookout now for Mother's Morning Out programs, for Mommy groups at churches or other organizations. You can meet other parents and make adult friends by frequenting local parks and playgrounds, taking kiddie exercise or swim classes, or (later) leaving your child with a sitter occasionally while you take an art or exercise class or pursue other interests. You won't forever be tied to your little one as intensely as you are in these first few weeks.

I'm in my mid 60's, and I still have dinner every single month with a group of ladies I came to know through a church women's study/fellowship group when all of us were young moms with very little ones. These ladies are dear, lifelong friends, and of course, we've all kept up with one another's children (now adults with kids of their own) too! Don't worry; you'll have opportunities to make friends.

[chrystaltree]

I've been where you are now. I left a career that I loved to be a sahm and the first few years were miserable for me. Don't get me wrong, I adored my girls and I was confident in my decision. Staying home was right for my family. But I was not the "housewife" type. I missed being around people, I missed the meetings, I missed the comraderie of co workers, I missed wearing high heels every day! I think you have to stop trying to build a life, establish contacts, make friends. You cannot force those things, they happen naturally and slowly; they develop over time. With so many women in the workforce, depending on where and how you live; you might never have that "circle" you think you want. Focus on what's really important now. You baby. Your day revolves around her anyway, relax and go with it. As the baby gets older, you will get out more. You'll become more active, you'll meet more women, you'll make more contacts and you will naturally develop a social life. You might even make a new friend or two. You say you aren't depressed but you are. It's understandable. You have made a big change in your life and you are adjusting to it. It will take time. Also, you have to be realistic. Your friends who are still working and still involved with their careers and still free to shop and go out for drinks after work are not really interested in your life as it is now. You simply have nothing in common with friends who aren't new moms, new stay at home moms. The longer you are home, the less you have in common. Your relationships with those women will change. Once again, I say, let things unfold naturally. You expect too much too soon. If you are just taking a year off, then you should take advantage of that year. Put everything else aside and just enjoy being a new mom. There is no better time in life than that first year with your precious baby. However, if you elect to extend your sahm period, relax and stop trying to force things. Just live your life and let things develop naturally.