@Kardi Thoughtful and gracious post. I gave a "Praying Hands" hosta to my friend (for Mother's Day) and as a Memorial for her son who OD'd recently.
We frequently have lunch together. I had overwintered the plant in my garage afraid something was going to happen. (One of the gut feelings I had.) Sadly, it happened before the plant awakened from its dormant state.
She actually appreciated it more last week when she was able to take it home and plant it, without the painful emotions and grief of his untimely death. Her DIL will be in town for Mother's Day. They plan to visit the cemetary for the first time together. Then, she and I are signed up for a walking tour of the cemetary later this month and we'll visit his grave together after the tour.
The good news is: our Police Dept. have found the dealer and have him in custody. He has sold to three others who have also OD'd, but survived due to quick action by 911 and our EMT's. With a tough Judge, he may face up to 30-40 years in prison. (My friend does realize her son was also guilty for buying and using drugs.)
She is currently taking Grief Classes. Her husband is not. She is also going through TMS, which her daughter and I have qualms about. (Look it up if you are interested.) A physician administers EEG's three times a week for six weeks to see if her brain is improving from his "treatments" which we're concerned about. She believes in it and I guess that's what is important for her mental health. (Sort of like a sugar pill?) It seems like a money scam to us, but we aren't in her shoes of depression. So far, it hasn't hurt her physically or mentally . . . so who cares if the physician is a scam artist? If he helps her through the grief, it's worth every cent IMO. Loosing a child (of any age) is something I cannot imagine.
The death of my husband was shocking and oh-so painful, but I had to stay level-headed for our son and company. I went on "auto-pilot" for a couple of years before I was able to really grieve. The death of a parent is usually due to illness. Although you know it is coming, you are never prepared. It's still a shock and the void is more than anticipated. I took pansy's to my husband's and mom's graves on Easter, rather than Easter Lillies this year. It's all the cycle of life.
We have already celebrated our Mother's Day. My DIL's family is huge and they get together for Mother's Day and Father's Day. I'm so happy her entire family are together twice each year! So, I'll be alone . . . probably with a neighbor or two. We have several of us who are widows, widowers and divorced people in the HOA. Great friends, close-by, we all love to grill, and good people to share holidays and weekends.
Hope everyone has a sunny day on Sunday!
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