Chores for children - Page 4

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

'All I know' is that my mom had me 'help her', sweeping and mopping, using those children's brooms and mops, at a very early age. Maybe four or so. I still remember how proud I felt re: my 'accomplishment'. ............. I do believe that children feel a lot better when they are able to accomplish certain chores. Similar to many of us after we are through vacuuming our carpeting. It looks so nice........and it's relaxing (for me, anyway).

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I don't think what other kids do and what rules other parents have. They aren't your children, they have a mother and she makes the rules for them. Since they are living with you and I assume you want to keep the peace, you just need to stay out of it. Certainly you can have rules but you give those house rules to the kids' mother and it's up to her to decide if she'll give the kids any repsonsibilities. Some parents do, some don't. I was somewhere in the middle but only when the girls got to middle school. Their responsibilities increased when they entered high school.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@gracie2014 wrote:
@YorkieonmyPillow She doesn't pick up their mess..she is currently a stay at home mom...and has been a stay at home mom for about a year..I guess because it is my home..I feel I do have the right to interfere...they are disrespecting my home....I shouldn't have to get after her to make the children clean up...makes me look like the bad guy..if I ask them to clean up their mess...she grabs them and takes the kids out for Dairy Queen...with my car! The mom has no car..nothing..

You own this one. You can't blame this on the mother and you certainly can't blame it on the kids. You should have worked all this out before this woman and her children move in. Before the first box came into your house, you and she should have talked all the details through. And then you should have put it down and writing, in case she happened to forget. You can try talking to her now and making some house rules but honestly, after you sat there and said nothing and acting like everything was just fine, not much is going to change. If she were a responsible woman, the situation wouldn't be as it is. You problem is with her, you still have not right to tell or expect anything from her kids. You are rightfully frustrated and angry and sick of having them in your home but kicking them out probably isn't an option now. So, you are going to have to be honest about the situation, set some house rules and talk to the woman.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:
I don't think what other kids do and what rules other parents have. They aren't your children, they have a mother and she makes the rules for them. Since they are living with you and I assume you want to keep the peace, you just need to stay out of it. Certainly you can have rules but you give those house rules to the kids' mother and it's up to her to decide if she'll give the kids any repsonsibilities. Some parents do, some don't. I was somewhere in the middle but only when the girls got to middle school. Their responsibilities increased when they entered high school.

If anyone is in my home, I feel as have the right to tell them how to behave if the issue concerns my possessions. If they don't like it, they can leave.

These kids and their mother have done thousands of dollars worth of damage to the OP's home. She has every right to speak her mind. If they don't like it, they can move. If they were in my home, and did nothing, but take advantage of me, you would hear me a mile away letting them how I feel.

Her niece doesn't work and doesn't pick up after herself or her kids, she takes the car without asking and spends money on nonessential things and does not contribute a penny to the household expenses.

She is going to have a difficult time getting rid of them. Legally getting them out is going to be almost impossible unless they are willing to go.

i suggest she not make their life so comfy living with her. They are going to need a push to leave.

Since the children and their mother aren't hers, she shouldn't have to put up with them or support them or their bad habits.

JaneMarple · ‎05-23-2011

@gracie2014 It's time to put your foot down ASAP! Since school will be out in two months that's long enough for your niece to find another place to live, your home and your poor nerves can't take anymore nonsense. Please don't give her the power to control your home, I hope that you have someone in your corner that can assist you in getting her out.

All kids need structure and some responsibilities according to their ages so when they become adults they will be responsible. I'm the mother of four and all of them were taught about picking up after themselves. Thank God their Dad was a neat and tidy person as well because it made my job lots easier than other households that I saw.

You Don't Own Me- Leslie Gore
(You don't Know) How Glad I Am- Nancy Wilson

gracie2014 · ‎02-02-2016

@JaneMarple I agree 100%! I have friends in my corner but most of my family has passed away or live quite a distance away. What makes it difficult is dealing with a rare disease which can be triggerred by stress..and this has been going on way too long. As a mom, you would think she would have these kids picking up...especially with her frequent bouts of Crohns disease...and you would think the kids would ask if they could bring her a glass of water..anything..she has already had 6 inches of her colon removed....these folks need to learn some responsibility...but because she has let them get away with everything...they do..the older they become the harder it will become.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

Sounds like the niece is milking the system, and you. Does she get a disability check? Why are her parents or sibling's not having her live with them? Does she help with bills?

Seems like a time limit should be set, and she should be out.

If she can go to workout/boot camp 3 times a week , she can work. Sounds like she is lazy, you are enabling , and she has a free ride. Does she realize someone can film her at her workouts. No more SS checks then.

@gracie2014

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

I also want to add your niece may have some degree of Chron's, but she is using it to her advantage. You mentioned she divorced. Is it possible she wanted more child support if she has now has no job?

gracie2014 · ‎02-02-2016

@missy1...She is not getting a disability check...I have asked her to apply for disability....the thing is she needs to follow through with her doctor's orders...like taking the meds..doesn't make doctor's appointments unless in a flare...now she did apply for unemployment...it was denied because she is not employable due to the illness...she worked at a major university in NC...fundraiser. I have never heard of that being given for a reason to deny unemployment. Her mother is basically homeless..and her dad has never been in her life..she has one brother..who offers no help...I am disgusted by it all..as I have been helping since the day she was born..