Re: Are Thank You notes a thing of the Past?

Sebastian · ‎01-22-2011

My mother raised me with proper social grace. Since I have been able to write, I have gotten most of my thank you notes out within twenty four hours. I had all my thank yous for my wedding gifts written and sent before I left for my honeymoon, which was within the twenty four hours I mentioned. Letting someone know I appreciate their thoughtfulness is very important to me.

My daughter was raised with my ideals, naturally. When she was young, I had to get the cards out in order for her to craft her notes of thanks. Eventually, I just gave up. That is a great disappointment for me. She is a kind, lovely and intelligent young woman who seems to have no regard for the social graces I have tried to continue and cultivate.

Gayle2 · ‎07-12-2011

On 5/12/2014 Sebastian said:
My mother raised me with proper social grace. Since I have been able to write, I have gotten most of my thank you notes out within twenty four hours. I had all my thank yous for my wedding gifts written and sent before I left for my honeymoon, which was within the twenty four hours I mentioned. Letting someone know I appreciate their thoughtfulness is very important to me.

My daughter was raised with my ideals, naturally. When she was young, I had to get the cards out in order for her to craft her notes of thanks. Eventually, I just gave up. That is a great disappointment for me. She is a kind, lovely and intelligent young woman who seems to have no regard for the social graces I have tried to continue and cultivate.

You make an excellent point here. Many times, the person was raised in a home where manners were taught. I think it is sad that when thank you notes are not done by an child (now adult) that it is a reflection on the parent. Not true! I have 5 nieces and nephews all raised "the right way" in terms of manners. Some send, some don't. My thought is that by the time they are adults, they own their behaviors.

HULAGIRL · ‎03-10-2010

To answer OP's question.......thank you notes are NOT a thing of the past for me. I send one no matter what......even if I thank the giver in person at the time I received the gift, dinner or whatever. I wish others were as thoughtful to me........for years I treated my good friend's children like they were my own and was always very generous to them both with material things and my love and affection. They are now adults and having children of their own. Since they live in other states, I've sent gifts for special occasions and never receive a thank you note......I'm never sure if they even receive it. I probably shouldn't be so sensitive, but a little common courtesy would be nice.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

I am ok with a phone call or an e mail thank you - but I do expect at least that much. My niece always has her boys call us to thank us for anything and they are so used to talking to us on the phone that they now will call us just to talk about something that happened to them - like a good day at hockey. We so enjoy their calls too. Her 9 year old called me when he saw on FB that it was my birthday - he was upset that we were far away in Fl. soi I would not have a party because the family are all in Pitts. So he promised me a party this summer while we are home.

sciencegeek_1 · ‎07-19-2013

Life itself has become more informal. Written invitations are rarely sent for BBQs, birthdays, and dinner parties. No written invitation means no written thank you notes, as long as you say thank you in person. I still send them, though--my grandma was a stickler!

For a big event, especially when invitations are sent to many who can't/won't attend, like a wedding or shower, thank you notes absolutely should be written.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

On 5/12/2014 imxpnsive said:
On 5/12/2014 traveler said:
I went to a wedding last you and our thank you was a mass, generic email.

Sad....just trying to read this was also, sad....no one puts a priority on grammar....

Yes! I received two of those last summer; one after a wedding and the other after a graduation party. Like it or not, the world moves forward with or without us. Grammar? It's not about grammar, a thank you note is meant to convey one's appreciation for a gift or service. That hasn't change but the format has been extended to include text messages because people today depend on electronics and we live in an age in which everything is "immediate". So, while I would not use email or text for a thank you note, I'm okay with it.

Pickwickpapers · ‎06-24-2013

For the most part yes, notes are not always sent. I wish that thank you notes would make a comeback but each year I receive less and less. I expect notes for graduation, wedding and baby shower gifts but do not always receive them. Each year I also delete some names from my gift list of those who "forget" to send me a thank you note.

RainyDayGal · ‎03-09-2010

On 5/12/2014 traveler said:
I went to a wedding last you and our thank you was a mass, generic email.

At least you got something. Over eight months later and I'm still waiting for my thank you. ${#emotions_dlg.mad}$

dsw503 · ‎08-18-2010

I agree that they do seem to be a thing of the past. I'll take a card, txt, email, FB post and feel thanked. My experience shows that all generations are avoiding the thank you--it's not something that is limited to kids or younger adults. I recently sent a retirement gift to someone and I guess their retirement is so great, there's no time available to say "thanks"!

I recognize that I give people gifts because I choose to. If they don't thank me, I don't like it but I don't carry the resentment around. I take my happiness from being able to give the gift and leave it at that.

Chrispy77 · ‎03-15-2010

unfortunately I agree with others - I think manners are the issue. I have attended weddings, showers, etc. and no thank you or an extremely delayed one.

I sent Christmas gifts to my nieces and nephew and no acknowledgement of them. Just recently send a check to my niece for her birthday in April and no acknowledgement or thank you. Considering she is 17 I think it is rude - they are glued to their phones and could send an e-mail at least. I feel like they're getting too old and why should I bother anymore.

My daughter is 4 years old and I have her send thank you notes.